11/2009. This is about the nf-dominance; the intuitive-feeling as dominating. This subject is already familiar from the point I passed through when I suppressed the N-dominance, and in a way the T-dominance, that too was then pushed aside. As a result one enters the world of the intuitive feeler dominance, and it may not be separated to the most dominant, NF, and the nf where the ST, sensor and the thinking is dominating, as both have the nf as their intuitive world. The most dominant NF can have a world in his intuitive dominance itself, while to the S-nf, that intuitive world is perhaps more strongly dependent of the people around, dealing with people in an intuitive feeler manner. But in any case, people become up to dominantly important, without one feels pain there: loneliness and F/f-meaninglessness. And one comes to that dominant mode by dropping out of action, and it rates familiar especially for the STs, as when they drop out of action, they will generally enter that and be miserable for that reason too, in case there are lacks, as there generally are, though it's somewhat overly expressed in people needs, things to be right on the area of the heart in the areas of its people dharma (the other dharma of the heart is not to resist goodness, that I have seen to work as a Mantra, opening up the existential dharma there, not of something of ethics conduct from the collective consciousness/mind of humanity, but of God itself, of Deities, and that's true believing as then one knows, nothing about believing actually, just pure knowledge in that area, knowing God, as Deities.), so this is about people, not only about God and man as dharma, that has nothing to do with the connection to people but to God only. What I have been wrong about the nf-people need mode, though it tends to be excessive, or sort of (nf-dominant), that I have been negative about its place in the world, not preferring it to be the dominating one, preferring SF. Though I have made clear that it's a point to be taken care of, but I haven't seen its importance in full, it being more of a dharmic issue, of the heart, than I have thought.

It's about nf-people, relationships, with the people, looked with the eye of the nf, intuitive feel, that has its needs and so a dharma of what should be, and so it has its own understanding and the world, and it aims for that when the nf is dominating, as it's with sort of half the population, especially if they drop out of doing that then puts a block to the nf-dominant, or at least in my S-INTp personality it does that, the personality I have been since this buddha Enlightenment, the Sensor dominance, though the Sensor now just is there, the old personality of NT is still there, but without the N dominating, and as a result the S-INTp works not only as a mixture on S and N, and the sf-core being there I can go to the dominant SF, that just need the drop of the T at that point, when the N is already secondary, or not dominant to say it more accurately, though the N might be viewed as the past here but it's more like a part of me, not the past in any other sense but that it's not dominating alone, the S also being there dominating together with it, where the state of the suppressed N is clear, but it's still not gone but operational, only being gone basically in full when either the SF or the nf is fully dominating, then those personalities are clearly the dominants, where the SF has its own world and likings and needs, in my case much like Italy with its warm weather, sunlight, sea, even Italian, subtle SF, SeFi-things, environment from the SF/SeFi point of view, including the aerial space where the god of the SeFi is (ESFP) and in that world he, or should I say she, delights. While with the nf-dominant, the world of people needs dominates, and this is a painful spot to be at if the things are not in order there, and to more or less degree they tend not to be, and the will of the nf aims to have its way, it will dominate one's life, up to the point of blindness (similarly to being up to blind to the nf-needs when being at a dominant SF, sf, though the SF can have or has some people needs too but it's not dominant) where one views things only with the nf, intuitive feeling, and that though comes with any dominant functions, it being like it is, that being then one's life, need and the dominant aim, where one tries to fit about everything in one's life to serve one's dominant functions.

What comes to me showing less importance to the nf than to the SF, it's understandable, considering the pains and dependences, and up to a blinding manner too though it's just the way the dominant functions take the dominant view, and not in a humble way but their way is the only way, and it comes from them being dominant, where they do not generally even take a second look to anything but let the dominant function have its way. And I am not saying that that shouldn't be the case, but saying that that should or should not be so, both seem right and wrong to me, even if I would myself let the dominant functions to dominate to such a degree, when they are dominating, simply because they are dominating and it's the "wholeness" of their lifes.

So, there is another dharma to the heart than just finding God, the deities in an existential close level and with a bend towards the heart as the experience, and that as the whole being the existential Dharma (as a whole but it's strongly a part of the dharma of the heart or the 'heart' as it's bigger than just the "heart," just not including other people in it, not having people needs). The heart, L4, nf-people, it's an F-meaning issue to be taken care of and the core of one's life when the nf is dominating, and they are sort of fortunate too as when they work for that from the beginning of their lifes, they tend to produce their life just right for it, while waking up to it later, when having naturally more or less been ignoring it, as it's a non-dominant function, a secondarily or less of a need, it will be a pain when it pops up as the dominant one, while being an nf-dominant and the SF popping up, or maybe the sf, what comes is the environment as SF-factors, and that will not really be a pain issue though one could be living in a better world there, and one also will start to work towards those aims, similar to the nf working towards the needs of its world. And then the sf-dominant also brings logical thinking over the nf-factors, one being able to analyze things in a less nf-binded view, being more objective it might be said, and I won't argue against that, just that it's really ignoring the dominant factor and importance of the nf and not even seeing it really, the nf having its own way of looking, its own eyes that see what the sf-dominant more or less and basically doesn't see as it won't give as much weight to the nf-factors and is not really there either and so really can't be said to be seeing the nf-view.

But the issue on this bolded writing is to lift the nf to the equal if not even to the higher place with any other dominant functions, and to understand what drives it, how it sees, what is dominantly and up to alone important to it, and that it's a part of the dharma of the heart, that needs to be taken care of in one's relations to people as well as in the world as a whole, it being about people, in an nf-sense, and to the nf it's much more of an issue and needs to be taken care of while the others, though more or less naturally, are up to ignoring the needs of that dharma of the heart, about the relations to people and the state of the heart there; it being that sort of subtle intelligence of the heart, and that's of the god, dharma, though not the entire Dharma and God itself, but a part of it, but ignoring one finger, it will be a pain in the existence, and a huge major dominant pain if it's one's dominant function, and so it needs to be taken care of (it's an another issue of how, here it's just pointed that it's a need, dharma etc., and it naturally aims to take care of that need), especially in the dominant nf-mode, but as a whole too it needs to be understood as dharma, even if one will not feel the need and lives in an another dominance even up to sort of completely ignoring it, though being then less intelligent on the area of the nf-heart, people relations in a way the nf-heart sees, feels, experiences, understands it. It being the dominant meaning issue for the nf-dominant (not a side issue, in case it's really even that to many other function dominants but maybe and likely to the more ST doing oriented one's who have the nf as their second most dominant function pair, though in many cases and in a way in all of them, the nf is a dominant issue, their lifes being much based on its needs).

1/2010 What has happened from 2007 to this day is that I have been actively mentally too much for the SF to have stayed. Much of that has been ST-based work and learning Italian and preparing my move from Finland to Italy of the UK as the two major one's. But along that I have become more and ST and the nf started to happen to me more, and it's more or less based on the nf I passed through in my story from NT to SF to become a Buddha, as it's called, and I have been basically calling myself an S-INTP (S-INTp) with fluctuations to it, where when I am on ST doings, that's what I am and when I unload the right side I unload the T and am at sf, SF/sf, depending on how deep I unload, and that's when I am at my best from the unload and happiness point of view, and I am okay in doing too, like an S-INTP, while when I am in between of those, that basically means that I have dropped out of doing and from much part of L6 and then the right side is there still to be unloaded, that's needed for the situation to clear and me being happy or so and positive, optimistic, but when I am there in between and unloading I am in the pain of nf, that's the heart, that has the nf-people and nf-meaning in it, and I am unhappy, pessimistic and up to thinking there is no point in life as the only point comes from nf-people and nf-meaning and the first one of those is not good enough because of my amount of loads, and the other is not okay aditionally as the world is not okay, and I should unload and can't really be on that area either, so I am depressed there and I don't even see anything meaningful in being in action of S-INTP or being happy at SF, them signifying nothing to me when I am in my depressing nf, though not that it's depressing all the time and as it has become more of a standard with my ST doings, it's often there but I am not unloading really or not that much and I feel good with some contacts with people I have, and in doings I am okay too though it's bad for me as I should unload, though I should do so maybe five hours per day and not all day that's too much and bad, but it doesn't mean some major doings after either, though I am trying to have a balance there on unloading and then doing, mental too, but the nf can be really depressing and I am not staying in enough unloading mode easily, it being a major job, but I keep hoping. But the nf not seeing a meaning in SF nor ST/S-INTP doings either, is pretty bad, making life there meaningless and the heart can't live without a meaningful life.

Even with significant recovery, my life will not be as good as it could have been if having recovered earlier, and I will still have problems on the nf-areas because of my age and the world, but at least I can then add to it and maybe at some later point even be more in doings, mental too, though that needs still further recovery. So there are better possibilities then, and most importantly the job is then done (even if the body won't recover, and then one needs to guess if one really has been recovered) then basically in all of what I could achieve in this life, with just some further recovery needed. But there is no guarantee of any further significant recovery for this life, though with loadings at minimums, I can't see it not recovering at least a bit further, other than the body that very well might not, especially as it has shown strong signs since about 1997 of not recovering further, just the more minimum loading living for a couple of years is missing (along the lines like in 1996-7, in case I should just have continued the same, and been okay early enough in my life. I have been at deeper unloads for some longer times too after that but not exactly a couple of years and maybe I got something of that in between too but it's sure not a promising situation where I am now, and even here I will still have to do it) a as well as not living in x-loads, basically living from major part like a zen monk, day in day out, year in year out, and then having there what one has even if no further recovery on the body, and then see as time goes of what one has and how far it's worth it to continue living. This next step of further and increased unloading and living in more x-unload, does not necessarily give anything significant even in a couple of years, and from the statistics of one's past one is a favorite of needing to continue 10 and 20 years to see significant results if any, and then if no significant results, it figures to be time to call it a life, and the whole journey there and more so after a year and two of no significant results, it can be hard to travel, and then after 10 and 20 years if I have done the remaining job of mine well, it can be all over if I haven't got significantly better nor find it worth living any further as such.

And how much the N is there or the S, depends of the amount of my doing in the long run and during any time, and it has been more there lately that it should have as I have had problems as my moving from Finland to Italy or at least in the UK has not happened since the nf came into my personality more strongly in 2009, during the last two months and actually followed when I loaded myself too much from the left channel with up to 30 hours per day monitor work for weeks (that story is in the Sahaja Yoga side about the year 2009), and that put the nf to an all time high though it had been there along the way too but I was under the sf mainly and it had even set my move to Italy (or at least in the UK) in about 2011, but then the nf-meaning and the nf-people came in more strongly at the end of 2009 and messed it all up, and then how can I leave the people I know in Finland for that much - though that alone could be under a consideration and more so in the Uk where the nf-meaning is higher and compensating for it - and what about my doings and communications in that other country, my Italian not being good enough and with the nf, the UK also started to feel like the better spot from the global English and my English is currently better than my Italian and more or less might stay so though my sf still likes to study it, and the culture in the UK (also the factor of being reborn to a nearest place could be Africa in 33% of cases that can be even for me a some factor though the place where I will die might not be such a major factor and maybe Africa is reasonable and more so if one needs mental unload it just might be though the physical work and connected mentality can be much too - being more to the likings of the nf, though these are not major depressions but needs the more major coming with the more unload and being in the exact point of it, and only there are see things even more deeply from the heart point of view, though it's then highly weighted there and my life situations there is bad. Then the additional factor in favor of staying in Finland is my better economical situation here that gives me e.g. more unloading possibilities, time, and though the like six months long winter is not good for unloading really; not to the SF/sf nor to the nf, both being happier if more warm and lighter and sunnier, and can then do more less mental, as what one can do as nothing inside though some might figure out something, but it's a rather poor situation, but anyway, people, economics and unload dictate me to be in Finland, though I don't have high hopes of getting my nf-situation any much better and feeling more like that if at 60 I have had enough, I might call it a life, but that of course depends, but if I find no reason to continue, to achieve more and I have already given up to full times of years even or so to recovery and the situation on the nf-part as it looks is more or less as bad, then why continue, what there being in 60, 65, 70 anymore anyway, and I kind of have set the reasonable death date to 75 anyway, though if I am okay and things are okay, I will continue.

And writing this, I will be 42 in 2010, that being 18 years till 60 in 2028, or 32 years since the Brahma in 1996, having seen then 13-14 years in 2010 and then doubling 12 to 24 and that's 8 years to the top of that, 32 years, and the other situation not having really improved enough, then why continue; and these are all views from the part of the heart, and though there is the sf and t-doings that can be happy even for year in themselves, the situations at the nf hasn't then improved enough and what't there for those other things anymore either at that age, not even having a hope for any improved nf-situation at that time and things not having improved and much time even years given for up to full time unload (but not too much as is clear from my Sahaja Yoga text). So, this is the nf, the heart, things being good in my sf-world, but I could get over this nf-factor, couldn't recover, and could get along with it, and so it ends up miserably, hoping things will be or/and go better there in the next life, that will be at the nearest spot where I rate to get a birth, that could be in India or not, it being possibly about the nearest that has the Kundalini awakened, though not necessarily and that might be enough for me. And with some luck, I might actually get things better in my next life. But I am not there yet at 60 or so and even if I don't choose to die when 60 or so, the 75 is not far away, and if I find a reason to continue till after 60 or so, then I will, but why continue just for sf being and t-doings, being happy or not, what's the point? This is what the nf/heart-mode of mine says. The above bolded text I wrote after that Sahaja Yoga overload thing at the end of 2009, it being about and increased understanding of the Dharma of the heart, and then there being issues one could go into more of what to do about it, but it pretty much knows what to do (except that it weights too much the heart and it's not even in balance, it being something that is usually there when someone close or something has died, or one is depressed after a lose of something or by just a sudden or deep enough, long enough silence compared to what one had, and this is just below action that when one is long enough without action, this heart thing and maybe with others other things, too, will be in fuller function while in action one might not even be aware of it and up to fully happy. But the heart does know a thing or two, and the trick seems to be to understand its place also in the whole, until someone is going to weight the heart figuring it's right and the other things just make it less clear, but whatever, one needs to compare and see the whole too and it's not possible when being weighted in something, though that's where one more or less needs to live at when unloading this deep, though some more balance can be tried to be kept there and then at some point I might change all the way to the SF, where this nf is basically not or less, and it's not necessarily good if I am going to make further progress on this nf, but it's also a by-product problem but I don't think it all is and it's there in much nf-life overall too, though not up to a depression), what's lacking, and this text is written more or less in the nf-depression, where I see things along these lines, and at the above 2009 text I was more in nf-people need, up to burning, while I am more in an existential nf-meaning agony in this 2010 story, though they are not really separate, but can be at separate times. And much of my ideas of picking the UK instead and the more global English was immediately after the 2009 happening, but as I am putting that of too, it's one reason why I don't even have any global people thing to give the nf-meaning, though I will clear from this nf-depression to somewhere, and things are pretty fine and wasn't many days ago I was in next to bliss, picking basically Italian and Italian music was there, but nothing gets over the fact of how badly things are in my nf-world, even if I would be living that as covered or unloaded over.

So, all went fine but this nf-thing didn't and up to can't in this life, and I am having a lack in my meaning to continue, though I needs to see things progressing till I am 60 or so, but other than that, this nf-mode does not see a reason to continue further with too few things to be achieved, and when my life is just about not so good in the SF/sf, that it could have been in Italy with more sun, light, sunlight, beach, warmer, it sure would be happy, but in Finland, especially during the winter half, things just are bad for it, though I can put my focus on the sensoric existence of my body and around me and possible even in minutes feeling pretty good as things on the level are up to very good in my life, and maybe I will keep that as more focus to unload better, but I am sure depressed at the levels of the nf in my life and in the world, and though it can be years even away, it will always be there and it's more nf these days generally too, and I have got older and possibilities and my life getting less and will keep getting less, and even in 2005 I was depressed about me being 37, and now I am soon 42, and it keeps going like that and the nf-situation is bad, and can it get better with a change of an attitude or understanding? I don't think so as it's factual and the heart has its needs and dharma. Though I don't have to be in it that much, or that might change, but I can be more in some happier thing like sf, but it still won't change the nf-things, those facts staying as they are and it's about the meaning there, though more tolerable elsewhere but what does that elsewhere signifies to the nf? Nothing, and as a whole, is significant enough to life on the sf an whatever T one does, to them it's up to happy doing and feeling, but what does that signify? The nf is not happy and I can only work with my unload and see if things get any better but the situation has to sort of degree been sort of the same for 13 years since I achieved balance, though I never put to that much unload that much time again, but I gave it time too though worked too much mental, when if I would have known things better would have put more efforts in it in 1996 or so, and even in 2006, while now it's 4 years later and even my dream of moving in Italy from the SF/sf-point of view is basically gone (though it's still alive but things need to go well during the next two or so years and just fitting right from many points before it becomes possible and the odds that I will recover enough as well as get into a big improvement and clarity on the nf-subject, are not very high, but I might not need all that much recovery and a good progress on the very tough nf-heart subject and maybe I might still go, but it all needs to fit pretty well and the nf-people needs to allow me to go, whether that is then in good or bad, whatever its needs are at that point) and the nf-meaning stuff of the UK is not really optimal either, and it couldn't be much any better there than it's in Finland, though some more nf-meaning might be there and the weather somewhat better, but my unloading needs Finland now as I get more time to that here. So, some more distance to go and then I am what, 45, in 2012 and likely see the situation much the same as it's now, just being a choice in to what I invest that time into.

Not that the Enlightenments are not all happy news, them making things better than they would otherwise be, but they don't overcome the nf-factor, just giving more strength, vision, abilities to deal with it, but it still can be up to horrible, and it stands as a fact of nf-people and the nf-meaning as needs and as dharma, and when it's not good, then it's not good. Someone with not major need to unload has the world open as possibilities to fill that need and can keep doing also, it being then plenty good, having everything next to perfect, the pains mainly not being there in about any area if any. And that's the situation I hope I will be in one day to some degree, but in this life things might not improve enough or basically at all. But I am going to start to work with this problem, and maybe it won't get better by being more with it, but I can also start to expand in my nf-people and nf-meaning things, where I can make some progress, even when it's difficult or not possible in many cases, and I will put more time in unloading, including meditation, and see what happens in about two years, and what is the situation then. And this is from the nf-point an old problem possibly even from lifes behind, additionally to my current situation, so it's not all in the now schedule and so something might improve in there too, not only in my own state of recovery (where I need to put plenty attention in) and in my outer situation, those being for the heart from their main parts, though not that much of that is going to be even possible or be of any significant help. But I don't think all will go all bad and I should be able to make at least some more progress on the unload, though that's not necessarily going to be good enough, but at least for now I have something to hope and work for, and then see what the situation is after some weeks, months and years. I have made plenty progress in the past, just that it's still lacking after tons of years, though I haven't given it a full chance and so my hopes are realistic though will have limitations, but I think I am going to get some more recovery and other progress, possibly even move away from Finland, but that's not that important to me at this time and nothing's clear to me these days as since the nf came in some two months ago to a deeper or whatever degree, everything has been going up and down and from left to right; the emotions, the decisions, and whatever I decide and think has stopped having a significance as this sort of a new personality is like that, maybe getting into a decision after many many opposite decisions and emotions in between. There will be plenty of heart pains ahead in my road to more unload, that's sure, but I hope to progress on that further and then if I get also into enough recovery, I have half a life, that might be reasonable, even if it means a major lack of mental life and living such semi-life type of existence.

A type of M/mahavira (or just Vira?) seems to work in this problem more or less, but I need to see further to know more, while it's not ideal as growing in this problem in case there is such a thing as this just seems to remove them out of vision, but I don't know, but it would save more or less suffering if it works well enough; I will see into that during my journey here. But it's the same thing as in 2005 when I was in this same situation and did the mahavira and the great emptiness disappeared in 20 seconds, while in this case it was something like loneliness (mahavira is so strong that it often more or less can take the memory away like when I saw that life is meaningless in these modes, it took that away and I couldn't even see it anymore, or it would have been hard and I figure I really didn't want to see it either. Also my adoption mother when she had his hard time when his husband died, she couldn't remember much of those times. As a long shot, it might even be one of the reasons why older people start to get memory problem), and that went away in two seconds, and it's about accepting it, that might be at this point hard to teach, but that's it, it producing something similar to what action produces, putting the problem away but that's B/buddha or should I say we (as Buddha is something else, this being Zen, that's sitting so to say, not even Dhyana, that they though might call Zen, but that's not right as Dhyana - at least in my personal dictionary - is emptiness or the spirit, while sitting is 'sitting' - one just 'sits' and that's all), the ego, who is doing it, but in the mahavira case one does just the opposite of doing by removing even the remaining doing, or something like that, and then the mahavira magic happens. Why I call it Mahavira is because it seems to be the holder of the left or S/superego (though this method mahavira can't put away the superego as factual, but it's not supposed to as that is connected to facts, dharma, though so is this heart thing here also, but not all as it comes out in most cases. The bigger Mahavira more or less covers the non-factual [old/current/past understanding, old/past situation] superego too and this heart problem too is not separate of it as the heart is connected to the superego, Xmind) in Sahaja Yoga, and though I don't know anything about Mahavira, maybe he lived naked, that would indicate something, and non-violence that also would indicate something, and he didn't use any powers against, but liked just the opposite way, it seems, though I don't know anything about Mahavira, and so he had some Jesus in him, though Jesus was different - I figure Jesus had the Brahma Awareness. Mahavira as I see it here, would be likely to have just the attitude that would hold more or less of these left things and as a whole attitude might even go all the way there. There are plenty methods one can use in these depression or so and they might work to some other left side problems too. One was the sensoric look of the body and around, that all is well there and the sensoric existence, as that is the opposite of the nf, that's depressed. Then there is the heart, being more of the heart, and it can be done in many ways, whatever produces more heart as that's lacking there, and in case of about other humans (and animals), that fills it as heart too. Being in enough action not to deal with what's at the left, or simply to keep it 'in balance' with the left.

As I see it, the Sensors won't achieve the Buddha as they already have it (and as that's more or less the same Enlightenment one gets with the Brahma Awareness, no T-meaning Enlightenment to the degree the N gets, will he get by celibacy); the ST has his thinking here that's also the result when one suppresses the dominant N, Intuitive mind, and one can go all the way to SF, that means that also the T has been put as secondary, and so an ST could achieve that with a zen like way here, but it won't be an Enlightenment as that he already has, but mostly just a change of (outer) personality to an SF (that though might be nearer to an NT as he has it as his secondary function, but and ST is already a Sensor so not sure but it's a point, but in theory the ST is an SF when he has suppressed/unloaded the T/the right side), where he then stays or doesn't, depending of how he continues, e.g. if he continues with dominant ST, he will basically be more or less back at ST during some near, just some SF figures to remain. And so, if one is not an N, this way will just pass these heart problem areas, and can be used mainly as the main way to speed up unloading, and can't be overdone as the Sahaja Yoga text of mine can show, as one needs enough body action not to unload the right too far, the energy going through the legs when doing nothing being a part in this path as one will run into a too much lack of it without physical action (the right side, and from the vision and experience part the left side) that takes care that the energy levels won't drop too low on the right side.

NT peace (L3), NF heart (L4), ST dignity (L5) and SF aesthetics (L2) are what I now relate to the left side chakras from L2 to L5, though that's just a partial view but they somewhat weight like that. Using the mahavira method I dropped to what I think is the L3, peace, and that's familiar to me from all of my life as an NT, and things are good there, just like they are in the SF as L2, that was plenty of delight to me. The heart is the one that gives me trouble, too much trouble. When one changes from one outer personality to another, as well as from one dominant chakra to another (that also happens temporarily as weighted e.g. emotions), one will be different, a different personality, a different person, just being supported by one's memories and past more dominant functions as minors, and from those parts one is the same, but one is mostly the x-mind, where the most dominant influence of the current outer, inner, emotion, action has the most impact in what one is, in at, will do; the views, likings, priorities being different. I haven't put on my path so far but more than moderate mind control in but I am following a zen like path, and that has so far been happening basically only at the L3, after the mahavira.

All these L2-L5 and others create energy fields, and the better things are there or/and the more they are stimulated positively ('negatively' they give the opposite reaction and the energy lacks positively, with some additional painful feeling(s)), the better one feels. One also gets the positive feels from action, as they use the chakras, and energy flows physically, mentally, emotionally and one feels one is in life, and in fact, all those energies (basically the positive ones) are life, while when one lacks those energies like in up to the Great Emptiness, Vast Emptiness, Bhairava (the Terrible), one is in the land of the Death, or it's the opposite of Life, no-life, Death, and that's what it is, and one can be there (and call it Nirvana or not) if one wants but there is no life. Life is with those mentioned things and any F-meaning there is comes from them and when they are happy, there is no F-pain and related and no F-meaninglessness, though not that there is any meaning either, other than the Life of those, but there will be no pain of no-F-meaning, though life moves forward eternally, so there is development to better, so life does not lack in there either, but it's not a major point, just an additional point that completes the picture in a way, though we could well life with what we have and improve on science and so to have a maximum of comfort and the best life we can have of what we have and that is basically all, right now and here, but it's not the complete picture, just the major and dominant picture and the F-meaning from its major part. It's not that life is F-meaningless, it being more like a disconnection to life flows and the lack on some area of some chakra, deity, because of one or someone else or/and the world and so one has pains somewhere, that are the opposite of the 'pleasure' called Life, that exists because it's happy as positive deities,

Every moment, in the big picture and not, there are happy and unhappy things and energies in our life and the complete view sees those and considers the whole rather than puts one's attention too much into some depressing factor, other than it too exists and gives information and additionally one relates it to the whole. Similarly, one could put one's attention too much on some positive thing and be over positive, over optimistic, though having one's attention in some deity or other bliss, is not really related to anything but to itself, even if it comes from something, though it too is information, but on the existential path one is somewhat sceptical of the positives as well as negatives, but there are many kinds of positives and many kinds of negatives and how they come to one, all by themselves one way or the other, or one produces them and if that's okay, just the same or not, while when facing positives and negatives when they come, it is done like in witnessing as one did not make them to come though something one might have done more or less has, so what's produced and what's not is not all clear but if one puts oneself into something rather than when it comes to one for one reason or the other, there is a difference in that one is increasing something, or decreasing it if one does just the opposite or something else like passing through it and coming out more informed. But all in all in life there are happy and unhappy things in one and in the world all the time and also our focus and doings has its doings in those, but it doesn't mean that one is doing something wrong in some chakra if one is also unhappy there, as one figures to have at least some bases to it, but one should see the line in the whole and in one's focus too, and the new things tend to have a stronger impact in the x-mind and one needs time to deal with them as they show themselves as bigger than life for some time as they are the closest and the strongest at the moment.

and if it would not be, it would destroy itself just like it kills our body when things are too bad for too long a time in our system, and when we feel bad enough, it starts thinking about killing itself, that's additionally logical as there is a point where life is worth living and where it isn't, or there is a better life in the next life, that though should not be used as an excuse and one faces all the same here in many cases as here and it's a long way to get knowledge and experience to get up to the same point one was in one's previous life. There is also no major escape to any Enlightenment and/or other World, them not being enough, but one must deal with the Life's Dharma and make the best of it, that being the most important thing, the Enlightenments being just something additional, as a part of the Dharma and development, but not the most important thing in the world, though for me it was the most important thing,

Though motivated to high speed of search - and I figure it motivates any search on these areas (other chakras motivate what they motivate) when things are less lacking too - by the emotional heart problems of mine in 1992 when life was too much lacking meaning, somewhat the same problem as I am still having, that I though wouldn't have had then if I had the Enlightenments then as I wasn't too overloaded then, but now I have additional/other problems on that area, though there is nothing I really need to do to achieve the rest, but even non-doing is a lot of doing, but whatever, in the long run I have already achieved that too, though sort of are the others but I am sort of done already, doing nothing being enough for me to achieve this lack, though I will still have the L1 load, but as a Sensor or so, and with some Sahaja Yoga knowledge or so, and the amount I get that load dropped in this life, I won't figure to be miserable because of me, though I might still be having trouble with my overload in my next life(s) but that's what I am working for to decrease in this life and can be hopeful that all I have in my next life and in whatever I achieve in this one, I can be happy enough, no major pains and so things are good, having a life worth living.

In the next life I might know about the loads but still there is plenty chance I will go loading myself out of ignorance, and I will have to more or less figure it out deeper to get deeper. Without enough knowledge people do not know about the loads and so are basically trapped into their loads and the problems because of the loads, and increasing them on many chakra areas. Until one is conditioned with all kinds of things (habits, personality type, attitudes, fictions) that somewhat prevent it, one is doomed or at the best stays closer to as good as one was when born.

but nothing is more important than the Dharma, that's the same as Life, and from much part the same as health, the rest being psychology related to Dharma, and developments.

What's lacking of the global Dharma is basically knowledge and vision, it not being a problem to become as one should be in life but to get the knowledge and vision of what to do, and so one just works from what one knows and moves ahead step by step, it needing at least a will to that direction and one should get more or less all the way to the end(s) in some lifes (and then hopefully stay there, though that's not all possible at this time), though it would be nice to start with the knowledge, but that's not for the most at this time.

That's life and we are a part of it and there doesn't seem to be a way out of life,

If not counting the Nirvana or so, that's just ignorant, though not that Gautama Buddha necessarily made it all that popular, though he did, but he also was speaking about the middle way, at some point of his life, perhaps later, but he didn't make the life-death point of Nirvana clear to people then, it not being any point but the N to S for one to go in Nirvana, and even then there might be some more softer ways than suppress the N, though it figures up to necessary, while I can say that I am an S-INTP after suppressing it and traveling to an ESFP, and as an S-INTP I have better options to fluctuate to ST type as my thoughts are more in this moment (the S) than in the N, and it has an nf base (so my view is more in the feelings too, also when I am in the sf/SF, SF that is the case, though more aesthetically instead), and that's competing with the NT's sf-base, that in unload of the right would often be at SF/sf, but not necessarily when more in the ST in case I am then more in the nf-type and possibly even in the heart, with pains perhaps, or in some softer positive form, and at the sf I can go up to a clear SF, the shadow of the N not being there any more even from the S-INTP part, and all that was what I got, and it's good for me. But the nature of the Nirvana or whatever remains still lacking from public knowledge/from Buddhism, it being just the lack of deity energy moving, lack of life and so basically a mistake as a destination.

The miniature form of Nirvana is Dhyana in meditation and zen in Zen, that are similarly useless as itself, them being useful for different things, when holding the mind to decrease loads and when just seeing the spirit inside in Dhyana (that's the same as the Brahma but only inside the body) that also shows witnessing, that's Meditation, while any no movement of the thoughts and feelings is simply just no movement of the thoughts and feelings, nothing else, and is the same as the lack of life and can be used to increase the speed of recovery time during any period of use as well as decrease unnecessary energy waste and it also gives generally better controls, that are not strong without training them, and so that serves a purpose in that practise, but all these reasons have no traditional path idea in them, that is based on ignorance. The Dharma as deities is the right path, not the Buddhist background to it, that's just the vast emptiness that everything is in, like the empty space, but the empty space isn't life, but the stuff that is in it is life. It's another thing that those Buddhist methods can be used to achieve some things, but it's not about the Life, the Dharma, the path of Life, but just adds something and as a background completes the picture, but the background isn't the truth, though in Nirvana it looks like it (like in the heart mode one is one type of a person and in some outer personality mode another kind of), that the final truth is total emptiness and the company of it, but one will understand later that it's the Life that is the life, and what life is can be shown with the energy and Deities, it not needing Nirvana, though Dhyana with witnessing is a good thing so one is not a w&c (t&t in Finnish) blind, while people doesn't so know then what it's like when there is emptiness, that will be more empty than people have experienced, and that comes from life getting less and less till it's Nirvana, no-life but what one has inside, but all expansion of one's life energy has went inside one's own body and so one sees just emptiness outside, or Nirvana to be more specific in comparison, though it's just me who is using that definition to Nirvana, but there is really nothing else after that I would put that name into, though the ESFP at the lowest action levels was especially as Eternity, but the word Nirvana doesn't figure to correlate with Eternity, and that's all that is after what I call Nirvana, the Vast Emptiness, that looks like the truth but really isn't, it being just the Background.

And so, in any similar heart problem, it doesn't figure to be the truth either, but just a part of it, and though one needs to follow the heart and take its wisdom, dharma, it's not the whole picture, and one needs to digest (balance, learn) new things and put them in the whole picture, in the balanced picture, and like being in Nirvana is rather one sided, so figures being in the heart be rather one sided, though in some personality modes one figures to live there and the same goes for other modes, but even then with some middle way in action, recovering from hits there (heart area hits including sudden more silence, lack of doing), is something for them too, while for the others they should put some more attention to what the heart wants and more attention to balance and recovery, but it's not necessarily of much good or even good at all or simply being useless to spend much if any time in there, other than see the situation. I might be there more mainly out of recovery needs, and some personal interest to understand and possibly make some progress there, but for that the timing isn't the least painful, just that it goes together with my recovery time.

we being here forever, though everything keeps getting better and changing and at some point even beyond what we can't even imagine at the moment, and it doesn't end there either but continues forever, and those places are at the 'older' parts of the universe as a direction, up to infinitely far away and their part of the universe too figures different than what it's where we are (at/in). When I am in any stimulated energy, in action or not, I am in life, I am connected, and when I am not, I am disconnected of life, and at the heart level that feels up to absolutely Horrible and life meaningless, it getting its meaning from action and stimulated deities and so, and when the heart feels more strongly something missing, it reacts in a 'negative' way and we feel it so, a lack in some heart area thing, relating to nf-people, nf-meaning on the areas of the heart. Whatever feels (positively) missing in the heart gets reflected as a lack, and it does point a truth, even when it points that there is no meaning where it's saying there is not enough (positive) action, feeling or energy field (those are the Life, that's the same as the (positive) meaning, the f-meaning, especially as felt by the heart though one might be filled by other life too than that of the heart only); more so - for the time being - compared to what there was but also as itself; so the better in balance and right and in health one is, the more Life there is, though things more or less become nirvanic (as my term, like brahmanic, that's before nirvanic here) both with the positives and with the negatives but there will be the result. When I am on e.g. the L3, I am in an energy field and content (not empty, and not in the heart), though it's also supported by my W&C, consciousness, on the right side, that I figure losing as consciousness or right side light dominance when I enter more to the left side, though depending on the mahavira if it puts me back at the L3 and to the right side sort of with it, the W&C, that too is a support to/for me, its own energy field type as W&C, connected as consciousness and awareness.