7/2013. The only problem with life ending in death is that the optimal and positive life, the state of being overall, improvements, doesn't fully cover the meaning when life ends in death; it only covers the meaning when life doesn't end in death, covering the psychological meaninglessness feelings as a problem in emotions; the meaning being in good life things, according to deities. With the death added in, it's additionally about the Xmind, that by genes, this life's early developments of the Xmind, the missing theory of how the Xmind moves from a body to another, and by the temporary nature of the X, all added in, doesn't look too promising, though the temporary or so but eternal nature of the Xmind is interesting. Though I still think that just about all the loads and the other Xmind stuffs are from previous lives, that just being that strong a view for/in me, though I also see there are possible problems with it (additionally it makes things complicated). There likely being some type of Awareness everywhere rather than emptiness, and the Xmind somehow moves to another body, and as life is so 'perfect' and even electronic stuffs are so accurate, it doesn't look even difficult. To have the logic in life, the rebirth of the Xmind in my opinion is to be there. The technical things are rather secondary considering how easy it can be, and nothing has been proved of the impossibility, but rather of the possibility, though including imagination.

31st of July, I visited Koivukylš in Vantaa, again. It wasn't uncomfortable anymore, but expansive clear pink. That was a surprise, though it still got thicker half way, or some before half way, to Hiekkaharju (that might be just fine rather than a half-way place as it's closer the Tikkurila (action/maybe people) area and never too thin, nor too thick, or even a Lack, though it can feel like a small spot for psychological/factual reasons, but also comfortable and closer the action). So, Koivukylš is only at the most one month too thin, the July, and can be less than one month. I walked to Tikkurila and was feeling like if the summer was coming to an end, though it's not factually so, but in the Aura, like it would be the last but good evenings somewhere, or the end of the summer, them having special psychological feels. No Lack at Tikkurila this time, but it was feeling good, close to back in action, with half the summer gone type of a feel, and more actions back, things getting more back to normal, summer getting to be over, people getting back.

I have been coming to be more of an ST-mode, than of NT or NF (I also made some work education and personality pick for my future as next life with NF and then it was as the attitude and the mind type this very moment on that area and it seems it didn't fit and it put me stronger in ST as so then, though not that I am an ST, it just being related to my this life up to years maybe. I also compared that NF to if I would pick NT but I can not pick either, and so my SN-limbo has made me to be close the ST-mode at this time and what seems to be on my path, and anything that seems to be on my path and what I am doing, makes me a related mode to that, and I guess that's just the way I am these day and might remain to be so and though I might in tens of years get more complete of being something, I am not expecting but being what ever I am doing and is on my path, all other modes being close and not all gone, though I can be X-stronger in any mode, but when I am not pushing it to be so, all modes are closer), or SF modes, because of the type of work ahead and that mode then fits well in England/UK, especially London as it has more actions for it or to my ST (though not that that ST, UK, ST-doings has ever holded so far, but there is little other possibility now, it being the factuality of the situation), but I am still giving a try to Italy first, though not a realistic one at least not this time, but I want to see it all there and give myself a possibility also, no matter if just a small to tiny one.

If I get in the UK, I still might be aiming in Italy later (but I am pretty much done with longer planning as it simply isn't working for me anymore and it isn't like I can just pick this or that, as they don't come easy if at all, but I know or have picked what's the best pick for me if I had it all ready and fitting for it, but as that isn't the case, me not being the only player in this game, it's much about where the winds blow), if I think it's reasonable, and I will be aiming at London also if that's not where I got in the first place, and then I get to try some hobbies and other things only in London.

Not that I expect to be reborn in either country, or be reborn at all (will just die), but I like giving them a possibility as well as I like to experience those countries, and I have less in Finland for me, but I have in England/London and in Italy.

My ST and NF personas, where the latter is like a softer ST, where the nf instead is dominating, it then being in a state of an NF/nf-flow, it being a major change in persona and dominant likings, but also needs the outer things to fit for it, for it to be fitting to remain, that's not easy to have, so one could enjoy the music, art, aesthetics, subtle and dominant flow of NF/nf-feelings etc., living them, moving with them, being with them, seeing them, understanding them (one should also note that the gurus themselves are of some type and when they speak about the Moment, now and here, God, Spirit, they speak it from their point of view, e.g. the NF-gurus have the NF in their Moment, and that's the same kind of I mention here, their Moment being living in that, but it's not there with the other types, the Moment there being different, and it's easy enough to see when looking different type of gurus who also speak of the Moment, and then one can move more or less between those types, and when living more or less in the M/moment. The Moment being the offered meaning of live and the final aim as it has the least stress, though personally, I am not happy to that only, but it's an important aspect as it gives more freedom and N-spirit or S-clear). But it's the ST that I will be using and needing for some time to come now. My NT persona part, it's maybe like a dark existence but comfortable and fitting, and maybe only the Ne/Ti would have it different as it's extroverted in a way, having more light and expansion or outer vision. My SF part would maybe be the best fit for living in Finland with clear pink expansive Aura, as it's more like just being rather than doings.

8/2013. To pick the absolutes these days isn't ever optimal enough it seems.

If I would pick Italian (an absolute, for me), I would need to move there every life, with good to perfect Italian (some exceptions only, e.g. if one's job there is with English), that takes too long to bother.

One reason is that job stuffs are generally in internet, so there is competition and any lack there and one has next to no possibility. It was all different like 15 years ago when one could generally get what one was seeking (for) as there wasn't much if any competition. Jobs, flats, one could get just like that. Additionally, educations are usually asked (for) as well as (more or less good) language ability even when not really needed. Those were not that much asked for in the past, but they have more people to pick from these days (one also needs to consider how that factor will possibly change what one might pick in the next life).

These days also the flat things are more or less worse as a possibility to get, no matter what country, and if there is a need for specific areas, one needs to consider that too (one might want to consider it and the freedom of movement also when picking an education), as well as any other flat factors like temperature and noise. The flats in most countries can be more suspect.

Then picking a personality and inner life related to absolute factors, also can suffer, e.g. as I am an iNtuitive dominant, I am better to pick a profession with no physical work, I guess. But I also don't (yet) fit in university and I need to recover. So, a middle way education is a fit, and there one could pick from Se/Ti works, NF works and NT works. I am the NT, but I would, possibly in the absolute sense, better to have enough NF-mode (not to mention enough S-mode also/instead, in case the SN isn't going to stay forever) in my life and for that the job (and the world) better fit to/for it, but what works there are then, some office type of works (with a possible burnout for too much reading or/and so) with Se/Ti and NF (with st) that from the exact ST-type of mental doings there would be one of the hardest for me and really lack any interest, so no way. Then there are NT-works with the middle level education, and they will not be boring like that, something I could then do. Other than that, there are little major possibilities, and so another absolute seems to go out of my reach, one way or the other, though I could pick the absolute persona here, but would need to pick a non-fitting work, and even if I would do that, could that work really keep me at the absolute persona and path (in a good way), and if it would, I would need to suffer at least because of the job.

From the optimal but not absolute point of views, I might need to pick the NT (the job, though it's a Ne/Ti job from most parts but also Ne/Fi's an Se/Ti's often do such and there really are no major fitting jobs for most NiTe's exactly, as far as I know), then especially only English of course, and stay in India (I don't consider any other place likely as my rebirth at this time as I think that what I have now figure to be also genetic in the possible next life) or 'go' in an English language speaking country (leaving India has economical reasons). An English language country makes most sense if one needs to move out of the country because of weather/economics, and if one picks some higher education, there isn't any room for other study than that and English, and maybe on pension one might pick some other place like Italy. With some base education, one might not need much English, making a place like Italy also a possibility, and one just might get there sooner than when one is 30, and the load to/for the mind is less with such profession (one would be able to be also in more or less clear sensor then, though not that one can't be a sensor at higher [professional] education jobs; they often use Ne/Ti but maybe Se/Ti is fine too, and some/many higher professions can be good as Si/Te etc. If not dominant Ne, Ti is needed. Many of the jobs might have night work - that I hope to avoid from most part, that shouldn't be too difficult for me when I am making my picks in the possible next life as they often don't have night work at this time, but it isn't a thing I can necessarily avoid in the future), and combined to the goods of that picked country, based mostly on persona, it's a strong consideration, and I will likely pick such a base profession first and then maybe pick a higher professional education, for reasons of salary and the type of work, but it's not needed for moving out of the country, just that when picking the higher education, one is also picking an English language country.

But I will need to 'think' of the persona for more and see if there is something fitting for it that combine better as a whole, and there should be, but I don't know any major possibility for me at this time, and I am not sure of the persona nor the path, other than I might be too much limiting my persona with the NT-job. These things better be picked in this life as one knows nothing in the next one other than what one has picked, what one X-is. These unclear things too are on one's path. Any pick makes an instant and somewhat lasting change in one's X-mind, and then one lives it and sees how it is, and one often keeps repeating it and other picks under different information and other scenarios for years and longer.