5/2013. This month I made three visits in Koivukylä (Vantaa) and the second time I didn't make a note of 1/3 white but it was a still more warm and sunny day and I was mentally more loaded (that tends to add to Aura some, though mainly as action, but as energy also). The 3rd visit was in between but as a sunny and warm day also, the thinner aspect isn't as clear, just when in a cooler shop there, it's thinner but fresh (Koivukylä overall is a fresh place, plus has bliss this month more or less, and better nature connection, though it's not every time exactly the same when one visits, one being a factor also, so if it's bliss one time, then another time it might be closer mundane, more ordinary, though the bases always stay the same under the same time (and so). The exotic pick of this place is in the fresh, bliss, expansive clear pink and the small thin is covered by the fresh and bliss, that tends to balance the lonely aspect from isolated place and a bit thinner (it covered it in Matinkylä also). Koivukylä had some bad smelling spot with many high buildings packed very close each other, maybe garbage stuffs don't move away from there as easily though it seems to be an uphill place. But that's one street and some 100-200 meters, but it will spoil the exotic aspect including the fresh, though one gets used to many things but it won't get the fresh (and bliss) back and so the place loses at such flats what the place is good for. The summer will be thinner and more or less white, that generally spoils more or less of the summer as it has too little life. But during May the small candies are not dead but are covered by the Aura of expansive clear pink. That's one way to verify that the place is not dead.
During the same trips I visited Itä-Hakkila in Vantaa, that seems for single flats only, and the Aura was maybe okay during the warm and sunny May, but will most sure be more or less white all summer. Below Itä-Hakkila, there are high buildings, in Hakunila, but it's like the line to Kontula, with the near infinite emptiness, that produces some shadow like dead (lack of life) aspect to the Aura and candies are dead. So, one can forget those places, and they are that bad even during sunny, warm May, though not that one makes a note of but the shadow during then, though the feelings and notions following it.
Simonkylä (Vantaa) Aura is of course fine (between Koivukylä and Tikkurila), but during the summer it's in some danger though Hiekkaharju is near that's already thicker type. Jokiniemi above Tikkurila was nice, thicker expansive clear pink during a sunny and warm May, having a sports field like Sturla in Genoa, plus nicely space, homey, no lonely aspect at this time and at this temperature and light, and only thing that might contribute to isolation is the lack of more window aspect, making it like inlands as a feel (or so I might think), that might be some pressure as stagnant, but isn't a significant risk to be so, being one of those places where one during good days can feel like to be in Italy or so, and live, grow old and die, no major problem. These Auras and Flattings aspects are a major part of the good life aspects, and stuffs like Italian, colors, expansion, homey. Absolutes and chakra (emotional, and other maybe) needs. There being good life aspects of not only of balance and inner things but of 'outer' things also, all needing to be good if one is to have the best of it all.
Matinkylä during the 30th of May had not only some colder sea wind during a warm and sunny day, as the sea wasn't warm and it was winding more or less from that direction. And so those near sea side places are colder, that's not so good during the winter half in Finland or even during the summer half as the sea is not so warm usually, and a windy place such places usually are. The thinner Aura (Matinkylä) was some(,) this time for me to note(,) it to have lonely aspect in it, like during colder (winter) days, and all in all it can be too thin actually or the isolated nearness adds some to that also, and produces a danger and so it's not so nice all the time just that it might be even with bliss 10 to 4 and then June rates with bliss. 31st May even in Tapiola (that's thicker than Matinkylä) has some thinner or/and lonely aspect though it rates to be me as it makes no sense as timing but I noted no difference anywhere else (in Vantaa), but whatever, Matinkylä has been tricky during the May, and I have little idea of why but maybe some people have taken holidays during May, but almost all May has been even getting thicker towards the end of May, though sunny and warm and higher moisture (60-55%) with rainy days also in between. The June at some point will be expansive in these Espoo parts, a good one, the only good best time of the year, so as it's only one month if not counting some late summer and after, from some parts, and so, plus Matinkylä is better like all year (but whiter summer and nearer shopping center) and Leppävaara will have no white (that sucks the life out of the place, though there are goods as clear nature connection like at some country place, it having its good element as so but then one likely would need to have more such around) I think and more or less expansive clear pink more or less of the summer though maybe not as good as Myyrmäki and around (many are 70-flats but that isn't far from usual. One better keep the old flat till one gets to experience the new one) in Vantaa that's actually a bit better than one might think with maybe 4 possibly even 5 good expansive summer months, thicker winter, maybe okay fall as it gets then darker and colder soon, having worse springs for sure (some upper and so one can have at least some bliss during spring), and the lonely aspect is around Myyrmäki a bit as isolated mainly but not exactly in Myymäki itself maybe, and it's not a huge factor, just that it's there like it's in Matinkylä more or less, depending of the time and one's state maybe, and though the bliss will balance it, cover it, the bliss isn't always there (in Matinkylä), and even when it is, it's still some isolated place feel compared to some Tikkurila and around that I don't rate as lonely and isolated in any way, but maybe somewhat during the summer and fall even, and of course no sun and it's colder during the winter, so technically not all sure (about Tikkurila and around) but I rate it as the lowest risk on expansive clear pink places I know. There figure to be such good places elsewhere in Finland also, plus elsewhere in Vantaa, though the actions will be less. To max on being aspects is primary to me, to some, then it's some of the time good to have the actions also, somewhere at least, but they come as secondary to me if all the being aspects are good to bliss, but it's difficult to have all that good, it taking just one significant bad thing and the being aspect drops in quality.
One figure to find the Auras from any country, e.g. I did saw one picture from some more side of London that looks like Koivukylä as far as the Aura goes. The darkness aspects are there in any city, just having some country and city based feel differences (mind has all the facts and how they relate to what one is and what one thinks about them and so a feel picture is produced and it's not all fiction as it's collected of all the facts one knows also and so one gets feels of the places, and they will change only with new facts, but whatever one knows of the elements of it, are as real anywhere until shown otherwise). The sea-fish being correlates with moisture, with redness, colder, more rain, less sun, darker (that has special negative feelings too more easily connected until one is a persona that likes the UK and around type of weather, that I well feel of how it is generally, but adding the best of the Auras, it's not clear anymore, the average is then different, and even adding some Cs more to summer, and winter maybe, some bit of more sun, better light, less rain, can make a difference in the UK - that when out of the EU, leaves Scotland if they pick so and I think secondarily Ireland that has mainly just Dublin, that has some higher cost flattings as the only negative side compared to Scotland though one gets to move around in Scotland maybe more than in Ireland, being possibly stuck in Dublin) and the overall weather down factor is producing more sea-fish, and one is under such weather, though having the best of Aura will make a difference but one needs to (live) under such Aura during such weathers to get the right experience, as any pressing factors from redness to moisture and all, will change the experience to negative more easily. Other than the sea-fish, the UK+ has its feels, weather nature, other nature, and they both and all have their positive feels and positive facts, them being one thing of the feels, and the depressing factors producing negative, bad feels, though depends of the person e.g. if one lives in darkness, deep N, and so, it would correlate well to live in e.g. the UK. But I know what I 'am' and what makes it the happiest on the aspects parts that I maybe call absolutes or/and optimums/optimals. I don't like e.g. moisture when it pressures, but the "deeper" types can as they are nicely in the pocket or whatever. I like like air, non-heavy, expansion, warm and light and sun, as the major as I am not pressured too much and I have more life (including light, where darkness is about being in the pocket). I am some like a spring and summer type, not an autumn and winter type, though I was maybe like early autumn (peak off) and maybe evening (peak off) type during my INTP times, but with all the changes that and many other things changed and have their pulls now while the other things are against my type and flow and what's best for me, to what I can reach, maxing with the possibilities.
I could visit some other countries when I am ready (after some years), but it's mostly about the elements, them being the same in any country under the same factors, and one can travel places with google maps also, to see the physical parts (generally in elements also), no need to go anywhere these days for sake of getting information, though to experience what it's to be an alian there is not covered, plus the distance to home or so. I have had a vibrating alarm wrist clock for some months now, been working though been keeping me a bit awake too (not used to it) but seems ideal for travel when using ear protection as well as not waking up others as easily, in case that matters as everyone else will wake up every one else when sharing the same room. Too bad that when one changes, one needs to start a lot from all over, plus often recover or/and so of the past, when usually one starts when one is 13 or so, then being more ready with a pick and all by 20 maybe, but when starting at 37, 24 years late (plus recovery or so time), it's somewhat problematic and in ways impossible, but there is a possibility, just taking time, and anyway that's the path from then on, and if one gets to where one aims, good, and if not (getting lucky), then one takes what one gets, but the journey continues, getting the inner and outer elements more to what's best for one. I still have some contradictory aims in my personal life, though in the long run I am more recovered, more where I am to be and have more energy and time. I should make better balance as my priority, and I have had it so much or most of the time, infinitely slowing things, also as so many aims. But all I really need is to get in a Place, and then I can keep the balance, live like SF-delight or whatever then, and have other things, mental, only as much as the balance or so can handle, and that's it then, being close, sort of close, and in the best of the world would be easy, but the world isn't easy at this time and in my case, so I am just going slow, improving things on many areas at the same time, slowly, and with many countries, progressing slowly, and even learning a language well 1/4 of the time (I study more like 1/8 of the time) can take 28 years, plus then adding all the other things, it's going to take a long time, and more so if one and the world at the same time keeps changing. The problem is also as I am bad at accepting realities over absolutes and optimals and it would all have been easy and ready if I just had kept Finland (with a small outside possibility of Italy, though that's sort of what I have been doing or ended at) or tried/went in the UK (the best pick for my situation by far, but I have been unable to pick it so far), but when it's not in one's nature at that time, or in any time, it's just not natural, though rationally it would have been the way for me to go, and as it's not even final, way the best, but I was unable to copy.
Not to do what one's head is saying just can't be right (all things achieved often fight with emotional reasons against and they simply are not right, the straight logic being the one who is right and has rewarded me many times up to big, though I am not counting out the 'emotions' as I have made 'bad' picks in my life because of it and done right doing so, though paying the costs of it but also getting rewarded by whatever I picked instead and up to big), though I know Italy is the better pick for me, but I also know that it's not realistic enough for my situation (as the world is) and now I will just have to pay the price of that mistake, though not that I feel it as a mistake yet as my heart is still fine in a limbo, but my head will think it as a mistake, just my heart didn't cooperate, and now I am again older, and very fast getting much older, and the UK is going out the EU! It really cut off some UK going from me as I would have more heavily been going there if that not happened, but now I am in a silent lake, swimming this way and that way, slowly, not anywhere, just hanging around, preparing some things slowly, growing older, being, like accepting the time flow, losing whatever there is to lose for the lack of not picking the UK+, and it really isn't my place, so it seems my system is not going there but stays in Finland and works on the path, not side tracking it as it seems like it's in the UK for me. Taking the lose, staying on the direct course (the formula is clear as optimals in beings and absolutes as personal and as a whole as the aim), like a mindless fly or so, on some box, like a laboratory animal, going this way, that way, stopping, going, preparing some, trapped. Inside a wrong space and time, but still right as its not ready, following its own path, like a mindless fly on the window.
I visited Leppävaara and Myyrmäki the last day of May. Neither place had "small" Aura inside the shops at this time and the small candies in Myyrmäki had bliss in them, but Leppävaara had the usual gray candies still (Tapiola at this time had normal candies, neither gray nor bliss, nor dead, nor extra colored). There was also bliss outside in Myyrmäki, just that it comes from the bit thinner Aura of this month, it being like shined at many places, that also makes me think that Tikkurila and around might not be as shiny, bliss from 10 to 4, and some possibility it won't be even expansive, though the 5 isn't categorically different but it takes only little for something to be or not to be. Some isolation feel can be there in Myyrmäki, though especially this month lonely and isolated can be bit more common at some places, but all in all I have experienced the isolated case around Myyrmäki many times, though in a minor way, and likely because it's a rather edge place. I don't rate to experience isolated nor lonely in Tikkurila and around but during summer at some time just maybe. Tikkurila and around is not as much of an edge place and feels more like the center of the universe, so to say, and if it's as good as I think it might be, it's just the right place, and so some more-away-place like that can be just the right spot for some people (though a dream only rather than a full reality as not all places like that are the same). The isolation factor is a serious lack as it's not feeling like a home then, but if that's not a problem, Myyrmäki and around has up to six months of expansive clear pink combined to shiny non-expansive clear pink, starting from May or so maybe, and the last day of May in Myyrmäki was shiny with the time stopping part in it also, just that it wasn't expansive and wasn't clear enough to feel fully comfortable, but a good start (one can already be a fly on the wall there as far as that time stopping part goes, and it isn't clear one couldn't be it at least some bit during all year there as it didn't look exactly like dull even during the winter, just having some isolation - that gets covered by the summer Aura, making it feel like a home), and the winter part is dark and cold and the Aura might be less of a problem then. Leppävaara is a more homey place compared to Myyrmäki and around, no much doubt about that, just that it will be gray living before the summer and some time after the summer. Matinkylä is a tricky place and has its lonely plus isolated aspects, bit more than Tapiola (not isolated) and around, just that Matinkylä won't be gray living some 500 meters of the shopping center, but it's rather tricky, more like a possibility, similar to some other spots here and here, and not some bigger good place (that Matinkylä though sort of is) that additionally can be solid, all year, that's huge as even a gray place like Leppävaara gets high scores partly because it's such a solid pick (without red core problems), and if it's a bit thinner during the winter, and spring, it might not be as boring, the dull Aura problem in Tapiola area during the spring - that also produce 'personality' or likings or so changes when it's not expansive, packing one nearer oneself, taking away more expansive life (that's happier, and maybe smarter though the other 'persona' has its goods also), and Leppävaara has only a small possibility of producing a bit more air there.
The best pick is a non-isolated place with expansive clear pink as often as possible, and a shopping center is a good thing as otherwise when one goes out, it's all just nothing, thought if it's expansive and bliss, it's better than non-expansive dull, and one might go shopping some distance away more often, though what's there where one is living at makes a difference too. The main elements are that it's not isolated (edge place) and has expansive clear pink - as far as it's about my likings. Myyrmäki isn't an absolute edge place but there is a huge amount of emptiness above and so. Martinlaakso isn't expansive during non-summer but seems just about the same as Myyrmäki, though it's higher (and on the edge) but the thinner Aura is instead on the left of Myyrmäki.
7/2013. The thinnest Aura time of the year. I visited Koivukylä in Vantaa in July 23rd, and it wasn't white but half-white and after a little time of being there, I didn't feel comfortable. So, basically the same than Tapiola-Matinkylä line in Espoo, but still not as the previous year, in 2012, I wasn't in balance during this time, making the Aura feel a bit thinner than I feel it in this year when in balance and with some action energy in me, in case it almost holds - like it did the last year in (the) middle of August in Tapiola-Matinkylä - that still this year is under comfortable clear pink, too much white, but with balance and some energy, and good weather maybe, with sun, warm, it almost holds, and is sort of categorically better than Koivukylä in Vantaa at this time, though I visited Koivukylä only once at this time, but I bet it to be the case.
Koivukylä was just about the same in late June than it was in May, maybe a small decrease in Aura but no categorical difference, practically just the same. And the same for down to Tikkurila. The 23rd day the Aura starts to support again half way towards Hiekkaharju (that so is likely good all year, other than in theory it's an in-between place of the summer place like Koivukylä and the more central nearer Tikkurila and so some possibility of not feeling like being somewhere), walking from Koivukylä, it being then comfortable clear pink expansive, during this 23rd day, and nothing much more to say about Tikkurila at this time but I felt the "lack" there, that's a factor that one sometimes can or might feel at some places even at mere pink in about city center even during the Summer Aura. The Lack coming from the disappearance of the thicker Aura there, related to past memory of it or even as itself (normally lack is like when people go and empty is left behind, or one moves from action to empty, or after any loses on the area of people or/and action). The Lack feels lonely, isolated, sad, painful, lose and is something that happens at times or/and places during the Summer Aura. I didn't feel the lack in Tapiola-Matinkylä this day, so the possible lack in Tikkurila (maybe exactly) is a factor minus if it's so, and it necessarily isn't as the lacks are also psychological as they don't in any way necessarily happen even when the same outer factors are there. The only lack in Tapiola-Matinkylä is mainly the too thin Aura at this time and even if one feels some more supported when in balance plus energy, one feels the cold always even if it's 27C, and that cold is a sign that it's too thin, in case one wants to be supported, and generally speaking the NF/nf-heart has that need. Adding some people to that, it can be okay, there being more support. Even adding INFJ-pictures, in my case (my 'opposite'), added some Fi-aspect that I felt about instantly was giving me more support and I was feeling more comfortable during this Summer Aura when it's too thin. ENFP-pictures (chemistry for me half fitting) didn't do the same, likely because of the top Ne, that can be a bit cold also (and more expansive, that sort of correlates with my expansions), though the NeFi-persona itself can be a bit hotter? Though the Fi/Ti-top here feels warmer for other reasons. The Ne being a load-addiction and cold, and all these things function in us too when we are dealing even with any type of pictures - partly because of memory but it seems Awareness senses them also, kind of reads them, I suppose, but whatever, the result is the same.
What can add a little to Auras or take away are the balance, one's energy levels, one's bliss levels, one's expansion levels (like personality functions, expansive, or not), and of course the NF/nf- dominants feel it more than the SF/sf-dominants in case they feel - or as a problem - it up to at all most of the time. The weather factors also and then many psychology factors can produce cold, hot, expansion or its opposite, and other things. Matinkylä didn't have bliss for me in May, but there was a noted amount of it in June, and it was there in April also, more so as thicker. Tapiola had a nice bliss Aura some time in June in 2012, but not so in 2013, and I was mentally loaded in June 2013 and the weather was bad a part of the June. The summer Aura with my improvements (balance, energy level, INFJ-pictures - one can use the pictures e.g. to cover anything one is lacking) in 2013 wasn't that bad as in 2012 at these areas and at times it seems the June in Tapiola area in 2013 wasn't even better than July summer Aura time at times has been, though there is the cold aspect during the summer Aura (but no Lack in these areas for me at this time - there actually was some in June 2012 in a way but the Aura was too strong for me to feel it as a Lack, just it being Seen, that in many cases is then near nice, being a near aspect of the great clear pink expansive) and from that point the June was sure better, especially in Matinkylä area that had a bit bliss too. At this time I rate Matinkylä above Koivukylä, and sure for a reason as Koivukylä summer aura is thinner and there is less action (a smaller shopping center) though it doesn't mean one wouldn't like Koivukylä nature or/and like a summer place (just maybe, sort of) more than Matinkylä, and Matinkylä can have isolation (attitude and blocking it might be bit possible as well as as getting used to it and feeling more homey there with time, and the balance and energy levels might be of some more importance at all times of the year, that would then be a limitation to/for one's doings, or alternatively for one's feelings) and during the winter and spring the shopping center and like 500 meters around it are non expansive, though generally not a major factor if not spending more time there.
Leppävaara during the Summer Aura some days ago was clear pink expansive and no Lack, not even much thin but stronger, to the direction of Myyrmäki, that I don't at this point (nor ever) rate different during summer nor during any time of the year, but I rate the Auras of Leppävaara and Myyrmäki (and Martinlaakso) the same, with the minuses to Myyrmäki for some Isolation and less action as the shopping center is smaller. The winner might be somewhere near Tikkurila, just that the Lack aspect spotted by me exactly in Tikkurila during the summer aura is a minus factor (I was feeling clearly better when I was coming back to red core with a train from Tikkurila at this time, and I wasn't feeling as Lack any time later either that day in Tapiola-Matinkylä and compared to my Lack experience in Tikkurila was feeling good both in Tapiola and in Matinkylä, even when sensing the thin, colder, but I had the energy and the balance and the day was sunny and warm, and I was feeling more at home, though not necessarily as having lived here for over a year now as the Tikkurila and around experience in May and June has been good, just lacking on the Window aspect). Making decisions based on some time of the year, the summer Aura and the possible lack that comes with it, isn't the best course of action; one needs to add all goods and bads together for the purpose of rating places overall for the whole year. If the Lack is only about Tikkurila exactly or was just personal, then around that area the best place might be, but Espoo has got some more points now, just that it's not expansive for me but at most of Matinkylä; so, doesn't leave me much options, though some Leppävaara would be a step improvement over Tapiola as no summer lacks of any kind and more action, and step by step, carefully (including keeping the old flat for one/two months at the same time or one might more or less drop back in the beginning, losing all the previous improvements).
Holiday places might take the Aura things in calculations as they might be less if at all comfortable during such times. That makes many places worse and many places better, and one might fly away at times it's summer Aura if it's bad where one is living (in at) and not too hot where one is going (at), also considering the exact place where the flattings or campings are done. Possibly a good time to visit the bigger cities in cooler countries. January is a good time to get away from Finland, late December or early January looking to me the best times to go, and then one might visit as little as the Mediterranean (I have been thinking there is nothing outside of the EU, all being in the EU during one time or the other), that's though not all that good but if the weather is average, 3-4 hours of sunshine, 4 hours of more light, 11C top or so, is at least something, plus the action. Living in some place like the UK (that has been giving me problems every time I more or less decide to move there), gets some better with the winter (sort of shorter one than in Finland) and summer holidays. In places like Italy one does not necessarily need to go anywhere but for Aura reasons one might do that during the summer Aura if it's too thin.
Feelings have been of major importance to me since Nirvana (SF, then nf even with my sort of NT persona - SNT) in 2005, and I find it difficult to make decisions (I am making decisions differently than I did before, having two lines of code to make decisions that give different results and are both good, and bad) that make my emotions cold and the warm emotions are the life and meaning, the opposite lacking life and meaning. I could have made good picks as the UK (London) and as some jobs and as a whole good picks, but have dropped better stuffs like that when they made my emotions cold, and I can't say the emotions are wrong (or right). The decisions that are good, often are not good according to one's emotions/likings and the main thing then is to figure if the emotions understand the case correctly (and have all the information), and then deeper if one has some other psychological (rather than factual) more or less not fully reality based reasons that produce those reactions (I have later tried to look more like to that direction than to persona, facts, information, but it doesn't look like there is much I can do about it, my Xmind changing with the decisions and that's about it, but maybe some past viewed fact deep in there could be changed, and living with anything tends to get more or less used to it, as well as it's a possible way to change something in the Xmind, in memory). When it's 2016, one might still get to try England, that I then finally just might try, though not that I won't perhaps try Italy also from there then (Italy and Italian is still more on the positives in me than the UK is. But life hasn't given me to be in that Italian aspect fully so far that much but it doesn't mean it isn't the best aspect for me, just that it doesn't see the short of time well enough, plus I have enough doubts about Italy and Italian when not being more in that persona, and the UK option is more practical, fitting for the time now and to the remaining time left, and I knew that from the beginning, but the fluctuations and final factors of the place picked would need to move to support the UK before the emotions also would cooperate from the added parts they see the UK better for the situation but the fact is that I am just traveling time to more recovery and more being ready for whatever I will pick and I seem to see what though that depends of my doings and attitudes and my views of the life in Italy vs. the UK is based on weather and the language, when all the hard factors and work are up to the same, and what I see there to be in the UK, is hardly fully correct as I too will be there as whatever I am, and it changing so radically and the doings being so different, doesn't look like right and that is more or less of what is there on the bottom of the case, about ideas of the state of being at both countries being so different, and that difference can be viewed between two of anything one is comparing and is where I doubt the emotions as it hardly makes as much of a difference as they seem to think). I don't plan of picking Scotland or Ireland (only Dublin is big enough and the rent non central is 700e) as the summers are some worse than in Helsinki and they lack in action compared to London.
I don't see all that much a future for me being reborn anywhere but in India (in case life doesn't end to/in death; that I might see in my next life better knowing with what I was born with, as well as I will see where I was born (at) as if it's India, I will then maybe stay there as I will just simply be reborn there life after life, though I won't know that I didn't die in India, but I will know I was born there) and I am not that much against it anymore, west being basically non-spiritual (just thinking myself there isn't looking that good, there being much more potential in India, and they have like as many people as the EU and USA combined. The weather, the sea, though not without bads. So, I think I should be okay, getting some decent education, and as a backup just might spend some years as a monk, like resting after a burnout or something, in case monks can mentally rest enough), though not that things are good anywhere and that will not be so nice to see the next hundred lives or so before the age of Enlightenment might fully enough start, and less so living in the west, though I am partly just guessing about India (not that I see much high level spirituality even from such a massive country on the area) but it seems like a pretty decent guess and I can't but think I will fit better in there than in some western country. The west has been a significant disappointment to me and I don't feel on that point at home here, and even the basic spiritual knowledge, that one figures to get in India, keeps one on the better path, while in the west people get basically nothing. Though I do see rational thinking here, in the west, and they seem to be like about good life and so it's near the meaning factors, but looking the west, I can't see it covering enough as a place where I would like to live in at as I am. In India, them making sense to spirituality or not, one is more likely to find a meaningful life there and not feel and see it being something outside of the heart and head of the country even. Some think the USA would be a good place on that point, and I think I have seen - and known - that they are more open, but they also all speak English and are like 300M, but something is there, and the best rational good knowledge also might come from there; they seem to be smarter and more open when it comes to understanding things, even the spiritual ones and so 'new' things often come from there. But, in spite of the impressive lack in production from a country like India, I at the moment see it as a better place spiritually (for me) than the USA (where I won't get anyway, just the UK maybe, plus in India one likely learns English, making it a more important part in one's life than Italian that I hardly will study in India). To feel at home spiritually. Something like that, and not that spirituality is really rational in the west either, being the same even, just much less and much less in the nature of the west, and that's why I don't think I will fit in the west.
This is also a factor why it matters some less of where I will spend this life (the process of what my personality and the path will form to be, growing, and recovery happening more, being the main cases and the future will then come, when it's its time), but I just try to improve things further - as its programmed in our being. I like to have a place where I will feel good about living. I need the place (or just India), then there is nothing major more to add to this life (but Flattings, recovery, picking personality, the next life's professional path - that I have a good idea already and the persona is of course related, together with the type of life too, of course). Things just follow each other according to one's next needs on the line and I have always felt the coded needs acutely enough and more or less followed them and it has been good, though with costs but I would have had up to nothing at the end of my life if I had picked those goods. It being just like a coded need, that even animals follow. Putting much attention to a country (and language) but it's not just them, them containing a whole lot of things; the next major(s) on my list being the country, language, persona, job/profession; being the remaining aspects of my life that need to fit the whole case.
Much of my persona pick now is based on what I think about my life and situation, it not being just some spontaneous process, and so taking care that my thoughts about the picks are accurate, is important, and in that I also have to adjust to the world, my age (maybe not primary but is a factor to consider), my state of recovery (maybe secondary after some point), and my Xmind (what I am as a whole). There are a lot of things I could put on the top of the list as what I do in my life, and many things are interesting and when one does those, the x-mind changes, then the X-mind starts to change, that then will start to change the Xmind, including the whole dominant persona permanently (from parts first, being the inner persona parts), and even if one remains the same outer persona forever, there are a lot of inner persona changes as people inside the same outer personas are so different, though that could be viewed also to be genetics/fixed forever or for a life or few, and we are not necessary born as the same outer persona every life, but I take the idea that all is changing based on our doings and that's all the reality there is - until I think it not being evolution from me to drop to some S-persona (nothing evolution about not picking it but it being about what's better for my Xmind, all outer personas can be as X) when I have the NT and the NF-part growing or improving based on my picks, e.g. thinking myself in cold sciences according to me is not as fitting to a Ni/Te than to a Ne/Ti, and so some direction for bit nearer the NF-path has idea, though not to forget the same possibility for the Ne/Ti.
Mine are my current dominant minors (X-mind), picked X-mind aspects, and based on a good reason of why that path was picked, though anything one is X-currently, will think itself the better as long as the reality doesn't become a problem for it, and if the reality doesn't become a dominant problem for it, the X-liking will likely continue and that reality in my case has cut a lot of options from me from SF to ST, and the more dominant NT that I cut off myself as being too much, though that's still what I mainly am but I am observing more or less all the other functions also all the x/X-/Xtime and adjusting to the reality inside and outside, but not picking the best path as the most easy path, that would be the UK with ST, but it's not fitting to my inner nor outer reality well enough though on many aspects it's fitting even better but it has its problems with my inner (e.g. loads) and outer reality (of me being an ST-nf in this situation), and so I picked a softer version of it (that could be a bit anything close the ST), that's also closer the NT, that I mainly am, while the SF is far away - but just takes a pick to live as so - and need an optimal place for me to live in X-dominantly and then being able to manage the demands of the inner and outer, and then I would need to decide if being so or not.
But still, the testing is going on, but this is what its now and also makes it clearer why I have problems with emotionally cold (T-)decision. At least I am getting smarter on this path, though just persona too. But not really the best ST-factor pick that would have solved all my hard factor problems, all having been clear, but it seems it wasn't fit to my situation in spite of that. I can pick from all these paths and personas but it will be finally the work in the next life that will more form what's dominating, though not that people change on outer personas even when they work on some line of work all their lives but that's not what I see happening in my X-mind when I do different things and keep different functions on the X-top, that happens from doings as well as just by X-picking them. For me, all is based just on doings and the Xmind is just the past result and memory (including chakra and functionally related loads) of that. The situations one is at, make one to picks one or the other dominant functions for the purpose of dealing with the inner and outer situations, though some of them can be "solved" by simply changing the X-persona. We will always have weaknesses and problems on the functional areas that are not dominating in us, so that's just a fine solution, cutting out some possibility of growing smarter on some area, that is basically brain adjusting and knowledge increasing and so possibly just on the path of change, with nothing permanent in the long run. But at least from moment to moment, there is some reality to deal with and then one is something on that momentary picture and forms to be something on that momentary situation and then it all keeps changing in the long run as the outer and inner situations change. If those factors would be good for all functions, there would be no base for picking one over the other, but as there are, one picks what one feels the best with, that works the best in the M/momentary situation one is at, and the Empty pack (plus loads, and the body) is the other reality, the soul, but it has only a Momentary persona. More or less all and everything in the Xmind can be changed by habit. I still am, because there is an I-note in us (a soul part), but it relates to the am-note (Xmind), that's Momentary. The dhyana evolutionary path is to improve in the Xmind, but even that is Momentary as long as things can be changed back, though not that one necessarily ever will change them all back, even when there would be a possibility, but whatever, for the soul the improvement is good, Momentary or not, like many things we do produce only momentary results and we keep repeating, maintaining them, and with habit some things maintain more or less themselves, and the less they are vulnerable to change to worse, the more likely they will last or grow. Additionally to that, the x-mind is the most momentary, the X-mind less momentary, and the Xmind the least momentary, but even the Xmind clearly changes during our lives, and we can make it more or less anything we want, just that many changes will be tens of years and lives, and possibly can not even be achieved more than as a minor, but considering that all change with no limitations, it's just a matter of a lot of time. Many Xthings change faster than that.
To accept that life ends in death seems to end a lot of motivation and so it's more naturally done when one is old. When I went that (personal happening) through in my mind, that's what happened, and then the mind figured, what seemed more clearly, that the main point for rebirth comes from the personal mind that is so personal that it doesn't seem to be coming from genes, nor from parents (and from others, during childhood) in as major way. Other than that, I don't in this life have any argument in favor of rebirth. It's natural for me to think there is no rebirth as I know no one knows, nor ever has known, but still, there is that plus argument. It can be difficult to accept no-rebirth when one isn't old enough, and when one is, it just might be up to natural to accept it, though I haven't generally seen believers to turn into non-believers at any time of their old age, other than some people maybe visiting the church more often, maybe just for more action but they maybe could do something else also.
There also are light-tunnel experiences but they can (but not necessarily) come from the brain, and then there are the between waking and sleep dreams that might be experienced as real but are just dreams, like some ordinary dreams that in theory could be real. Then some say they have seen things happening when they have been 'unconscious', but such has not been proven and it's more or less possible with the brain and awareness in theory as we can feel things outside and then it's possible that could be turned into seeing in some states, and senses are known to have made some mixtures. And so on. My basic stand is that I don't believe in experiences without the body. Similarly, I basically don't separate the body and soul. There is no evidence of rebirth, nor life after death, and no one has ever known, whatever they then have experienced (and it can be sort of notoriously similar to ESP [and UFO], that has not been well enough if at all proven, though they study it in a bigger way than the ESP usually is, them in reality being mostly about what one feels like it would be ordinary sensing; even animals and maybe plants are often more sensitive/aware, as well as the electronics. The visual types might turn some sensings to pictures in their related imagination, and that visual thing goes all the way to dreaming states, but I am least impressed of anything having been proven there compared to just feeling about small things).
If the rebirth thing will be proven, it seems to be coming from these experiences as trying to see it from the Xmind seems to have come to an end (though having been my favorite argument in favor of rebirth, maybe since I was 13 or 14, then as a feel only, not understanding what that feel contained - being basically that one is the Xmind and that it doesn't look like a product of only that life, and as it turns out, that's more or less true, but more like because of genes, mother's Xmind, childhood), because of genes from much part but not only that but of one's mother and childhood too, and not much of those really having been unknown to science for a longer time by now. What the proven experiences (ESP or so, near death) documented and collected should be, might also come to an end, it then proving nothing. And so, this subject that maybe doesn't look like a difficult thing to solve, might keep us in ignorance still for thousands of years. So much that it turns more and more in favor of there being no rebirth (and no life after death), and I can't really disagree, though I haven't accepted it as so and I feel life is, and the mind is and find it difficult to relate it to death as it's not only life, but also has a long and often hard path and with improvements (one can die now or do one's job and meaning and die after that), history, meaning (and so many life aspects itself are sort of beautiful, meaningful), and then it ending in death just doesn't look like logical, though it's partly the same thing with any thing we are taking care of, but still, it's not an all meaning case, about our own existence.
One can see the whole persona one is born with and then think whatever one sees best. And it's not only one's mind one can observe but others' too and with time one can compare one's mind when one was younger to the mind one has when one is older and see what changes have happened and how more or less of those are there in others even in childhood. All these are the kind of observations that put one to think there might be a rebirth, and has been done some thousands of years earlier in smaller and bigger ways, and has only lost some ground with the new knowledge science has these days, though just genes prove kind of nothing, but it opens a possibility that there is no rebirth.
Many changes in our Xmind can change the genes to come (childrens') (and some orientations in our own genes, plus some brain changes), leaving only some personal things that one might not see to be in genes, but one might think them coming from e.g. one's mother, and I can verify that sensitivity from my time in Nirvana, in case it's related, but it's there, and even from childhood, like psychology thinks. I think there is enough of my mother's unconscious in my unconscious, and the genes with more or less similar personality things. Though not that all people's unconscious in similar situations reacts all that much in different ways, so I am not necessarily right about my inherited unconscious parts, especially as much of it also gets mixed with my unconscious memories of my childhood where I remembered some odors and feels, and at least some of those got changed after my trip in unconscious (the term I am just using here), though it can change back but the way I reacted to it, looks like has more or less changed forever now, like ordinarily when one relives anything. Though it doesn't look like to produce all the Xmind I had, but as by birth it's so memory empty from the conscious part, it isn't easy to be sure, though I think I am me and not someone else, in spite of all the genetic and unconscious similarities, though if they are not me, then the rest also are under suspect. All have different fingerprints and similarly different personas seem possible.
It seems the persona in many parts comes only from living and is more personal, but living goes in genes also. There will be some energy release when we die, but it looks to me it just takes other forms like heats the earth and the memory part is in genes and in the body, and they too will die. The feeling of life comes only because of energy, containing consciousness, awareness, deities together with the structures in the body. It being life, but it's limited to the energy in the body and when the body dies, energy becomes heat on the earth and the memory and the structure dies. There being no supernatural way and never has been, other than some experiences, that still have some possibility of being right but according to my thinking can be discarded, though there are some strong feelings connected of them having some truth in them. At this time, all one can have is one's view into the Xmind and that view is next to busted, I think. And even if one picks the Xmind, thinks it as rebirth, there is still distance to figure out in what way the change from one body to another happens, though it's then not a central question anymore, but there is a major gap.
Even if the genes thing gets like busted, there still isn't any way to be reborn as the body dies and the energy becomes the heat of the earth, and by the way, even the awareness all around looks more like a product of people's energy as a field and in Nirvana, in the land of the dead, even one's personal aura isn't in front of one's eyes and all one sees is Death, as no Energy of people nor energy of one's own aura either is seen and experienced. And one can't really say there is any Awareness outside then, all being just dead, and if there is, as in theory there might be, an awareness or whatever still out there, it's more or less invisible and only in theory it will contain the Aura when there is some more human energy to produce to it, so one can see it. If the Brahma is figured to be just the Aura from people's energy, we are still closer to there being no rebirth as it's of major importance to the idea of rebirth.
There are mostly the life improving factors to deal with, to deal with any lack in meaningfulness, and I know what life is, and what death is (no-life), and about the optimal states one can be with, and the emotions that are non-life types, not happy/life, and there is a distance to go to get better with the chakras on all of their areas in positive and negative, and only L/life is 100% significant (to I/itself), where the only problem is produced by the anti-life emotions and thoughts when one is not in bliss so to say, when there is something wrong and the pains are there, and at such points one some of the time will be needing a meaning, and that meaning isn't really coming from if life ends or not, but from well-being, from life positive, and even when it's neutral no question of the meaning might arise, and of the pains of not knowing if there is a rebirth, that from these psychological points is a by-product though it has a significance when one seems to be in need to know. But when willing to just go with life, even if with some pains, as it will have, where is the problem? Why the problem comes at some times and at other times one almost doesn't even understand the question. So, there is some lesson in the positive here and now, but it's not always positive enough and even then the here and now like always contains the aims of the future near and further, as it generally should. But the main thing seems to be in the state of being and what one thinks and is used to think in times of lesser positive states, them being related to negative thinkings also, not only to the negative situation aspects, and so there are lessons to be learned about positive and negative thinking.
It's much similar to the sensor dominants' living here and now and it being the life and all and even death not being a problem to such living, and so one might think that the positive life energy and living with it is a similar case to iNtuitive dominants, though figure to apply to all types in one way or the other, but here it's also meaning related, and this isn't the first time I have taken a note of that factor and of the dark spot that exists in the no-meaning spot. But I still haven't figured it all out as I still drop into that spot but I just call it a lack in life aspect and I shouldn't take it death seriously at that moment, there being more important things to deal with about the state of one's being. There are times when the negatives are on the top more, because of one's state of non-balance, some more or less new negative happenings, one's attitude, and then there are the opposite states for the similar reasons, and they too come and go given a possibility as well as one gets more used to and the brain will manage things and work them more off, both the positives and negatives, though one still aims for the positives and hopes to stay there more and more and less and less on the negatives and one sure can improve on those areas and is one major part if not the main part of the practical meaning of life, and thinking in Buddhist terms or so, leads to sort of Nirvana, that being a State where one is perfect - as one often nearly can X-/x-be - but in a full way with minimum of negative powers and habits in us and maybe the maximum of positive powers in us. But even that Nirvana is just a state that has less negative spots than our ordinary average state has, so it can be understood now, and viewed only as an improvement, though it's the main aim of all religion and psychology. The positive powers help to balance the negative life happenings, making life better in spite of the things not being so good, and living the now moment life positive is one aspect of that power, and been helped by balance, positive doings, better attitudes and whole views to balance the negative ones. What all that then matters when our life ends in death, leaves some questions open, like one can take good care of anything but still it will end up dead, having served its purpose (our purpose then? From our point of view it has little to no purpose if the one served dies). But as long as we keep living, that's more or less the best course of action, and maybe we will some life know if our lives end when we die. As I am now, with all the Enlightenments, maybe I will suspect that I am not a mortal, if I see all what I have in my next life and don't think it's all just genetics, and one's mother's Xmind. Some Kundalini awakening and the stronger middle channel is easily genetics as a potential in people and comes to use when needed. At the least, if one takes care of oneself, improves oneself, maybe gets Enlightened to the level of having enough knowledge in one's next life (like the Kundalini awakening with the Dhyana awakening), one has done or/and has like about whatever there is one can do/have and will have a better future in case there is a rebirth.