index
Brahma_Yoga_F-Meaning_Part_27

7/2012. The (from) clear (expansive) pink to white -line in-between Matinkylä and Espoonlahti was still there the 5th of 7.2012 (5.7.2012) and hasn't moved any (still at maybe some 100 meters after the shop of Vepsäläinen to the direction of Espoonlahti).

Not even one month I have lived in Espoo under (mere) clear pink and I am getting bored (though not that such necessarily lasts and there is always more to do than one can handle and even the day to day necessary things need that much doings that even if one would do nothing there would be more or less to do) to the lack of action around, although there is a shopping center some distance away, though at clear pink I am not feeling lonely, although that can and will happen at mere pink also, under specific conditions like when dropping out of some action, going into action and getting some pumped in the L6, so not cleared there, and if not continue in action, and then any disturbance happening to the direction of loses on the direction of people, and home not being a place of peace, e.g. mine isn't, although the vast majority of the time it's nothing much, but.

There was a silent drum like sound all the time beating and one hears it only when one is silent and then it starts to bother and using protection then didn't help, as then I was hearing a stronger hum, no matter what protection I was using, and that too might be heard mainly when being silent or in less action. I don't really know from where both of those are coming and why it hasn't been the case all the time (and I don't hear it outside nor in staircase nor outside of my door, just inside my flat and that's why I am thinking it has something to do with the one living below me, also as it instantly started one night when he entered home - here one can hear well when people come home), although not that this place is without all kinds of small noises otherwise either. But there definitely is some drum beat that can be there at any time and with a variety of noise and come and go fast or last, and a part of the time they definitely are explosions, but other times and like the forever lasting silent beating, is something else.

So, a pretty bad place at times at least, and the extra minus is the lack of protection ability when one is silent (making the place worse than the previous one where I was using protection all the time but e.g. teddies were enough while here I have clear pink that might make the noises bothers some less just perhaps but there are enough) and that's what I mainly should be, silent, but not having given much of a possibility for it the last two years, that I was supposed to do deep unloading, though I am still partly resting, the place also somewhat gets into my eyes (at times at least and some extra heaviness), at outside also or at the shopping center that also rates to be the case but it's not generally so outside or most of the time inside either if not thinking about it.

Additionally, my mind might still be getting used to the clear pink awaeness and other changes is produces and I still haven't got used to the Aura of the place/Flat either and it should get some changed but I made a note of the similar Aura/Air outside also so it's not just my flat.

Not that some other clear pinks do not have their types of extra heavinesses also. It seems to have some extra redness in it, like Myllypuro and Itäkeskus then also figure to have. As my options are limited to clear pink. While moving in London for action has some idea that it might be a big place though the action is maybe more at the core, and it might not be all that big, as London might not be as big as one might think, most of it being one family/person houses and empty space it has, and one might not be living in the action, that's then like living in clear pink around Helsinki.

I would likely pick Italy if the world would be perfect. When I am not stressed about the F/flattings, when even the rather silent and next to not heard noise stops enough at any flat there is a significant relief in the head/brain and at best it can be up to awesome, so having silence at that deep level also, not having that constant stressor even if not up to any noise that someone might spot right away especially, it's a constant stressor and when it's gone, so is the stressor in the head and it's like getting from hot to cool or anything like that and then feel the relief, so it's a major life improvement factor, and more so when there is no protection from the noise, even when it's up to sort of not heard when in action.

I start thinking the UK to be a good pick, partly because Italy is just a possibility and furher away and when one is uncomfortable, one doesn't like to wait nor can be in a good or subtle emotional state and the hard values get more important, though one is to keep the long run view in also, but considering the one who is moving time after time and not getting it okay, and maybe not liking the lack of action either, it's not going to be looking good for picking some long range and softer or so (balanced actually, or so I think) path (and sort of more isolated and alian, although the emotions might feel okay there to cover any of that), when harder matters are needed to get things better.

The things might not be in the countries and places but that wasn't the point, and those things do not seem to change to me nor to other people necessarily, as they can last a lifetime. Needs are priorities, and flattings is definitely above the Italian persona needs and that's why any bothers in flattings change the pick to the UK, and though it's not really anything much better to living in good F/flattings in Finland, the point is that if the flattings are not okay in Finland, then the UK becomes clearly better and Italy can't happen.

The flats in the UK, they at this point rate as more silent if one gets other than a 200 years old one that though might have less people around.

All picks look bad for more than one reason and the only one that is maybe happy is the Italian persona, in spite of its problems and risks and not sure there is enough of that persona then in Italy, and I don't really know what's that all about. I don't think I should pick the UK just because of a series (and might not all change) of not good enough flats in Finland, but there can be enough other reasons to make that pick and the bad flattings being the last drop to that, also considering that I might have problems there in Italy also and that the UK might not be all that bad a place under clear pink, but I don't know yet what to think about (expansive clear pink vs. action (outside and so) and there sure is not going to be any core living in London, although that's a close possibility actually but not so much to me, just a zone two possibility but considering some mere pink near red core in Helsinki, it's far away from the center action. There are other cities in the UK also, London just maybe being the easiest spot to enter the UK, or then difficult if getting a flat is more difficult then.

I get different when my Italian persona goes away and in case I don't have anything going for on the UK persona area, then it's one of those spots where people might get more importance, e.g. I might go to meet some people and overall going to some places also, though that can be just minor but it still happens and the Italian persona sure isn't there, it being cut out from major part (it's still there as minor but not dominant) as distant and irrelevant to the situation.

Not sure I have anything to add to the London and Italy case anymore, though there is always new things one comes to think (of), or one gets more information, but I am pretty much done with the subject, though not happy to my Finnish situation, but enough is enough, calling it a game over at least here for now, and no one is interested, although it has many general points of use, and some specific information of some places and things. But not liking to play anymore and I focus some more to the life just here and what I got here, though that's more or less also an X-mind and x-mind, and dealing with people means one is uprooted from the current, or some other factor is there, and then not much later one is back at the usual (at home doing the usual) till the next time.

Things just can be optimally; there are the absolutes and relative absolutes, and the hard factors can be better, and then any thing that at the x-mind, X-mind will currently dominate, but it's of changing fashion, and it does have a dream-like nature, but the Xmind as reality is just that time's Xmind, as we are all different, and it too has many x-minds and X-minds in it, and they take their turns in what dominates in the X-mind and x-mind based on X/x-situations and X/x-needs, so sure are sort of biased also, there not being any one mind, it being a collection of different things on/in our list of needs and likings, and the Italian, the UK stuffs are a part of them, just happening to be more current on the list at this time and I have tried to make my mind about what to pick and having been interrupted by bad F/flatting and personal problem, but not that the subjects have still been eliminated, meaning they are on the Xlist, waiting their turn and the optimal conditions for them to come and dominate my X/x-mind, and they are going to be there as long as it takes to resolve this/these situations, there being no way out of improving things that are the next on the list.

It's not that one pick is bad and the other is good, them all having their goods and bads and much depends on/of hard factors, and then soft factors and personality picks, and of my personal problems, and all that is in the game and I am trying to make the pick, but enough is enough; it can now take its own course and if it goes somewhere, like being this or that at some point and another at another point, I just let it to do that; the mind working on all the subjects on the list in this latest game, on my needs list, and even if I would push one only and hold it, it won't hold but gets broken by new factors, as it has been doing, so I just push them all, as I can't even Xpick Finland; I can't Xpick anything, but I can and will X-pick things and they do that all by themselves also based on how the winds blow, as this system is trying for balance, well-being, happiness and asks about meanings, absolutes, optimals and so gets things bit by bit better and some life this country, language, personality, doings, hard and soft factors will be resolved and then the next things become needs, that I can't perhaps see yet, like I can't see one persona when being at the other and can't have dominant needs of something else when having a dominant need of something else at the time, and some personality functions dominating will sink the other personality functions more or less.

All this change is about the mind as a whole and it's trying to improve its things according to the deities, to the psychology of the system, and there are many factors it considers and it will never stop till the cases have been resolved (and during the process one might more or less change to another personality, whatever is needed to resolve the problem and that's what one will be mentally doing, and if I just would have got in Italy as recovered enough, I could have just lived in the ESFP or so and there would have been no thinking and resolving, but as life made it difficult for me and I need to solve my current situations, I need to use the best mental functions to do so till the case is resolved or I would be having more pains in my current situation, so what I am doing and am, is out of the need, though in theory I could have just jumped in Italy or the UK and been whatever that persona would then have been there, e.g. ESFP; because of my loads, though with my current Italian persona I am sort of more like at NF, S-NF, though it's just on the X-mind then, and it's more or less hot, indicating the T also, and it's S, that I have also, but the heat is partly from the weather as it will happen of/in Spain also).

It wouldn't be nice to wake up in Italy with the Italian persona having got pale and then being there with the hard reality mainly when the goods more or less would be in the UK with expansion, and I could wake up in the UK with the mere facts and feel just fine and having a good life of actions, though I am not having a good life of actions in Finland now, but after I have made a pick, it's a more or less a different mind.

In Italy, and ESTP (because of doings) also in the UK, dropping the N as well as the Ni, but things got too bad and I needed to back into my stronger abilities to deal with a difficult situation and then I got deeper and deeper into it, into making a good pick rather than just a coin flip and make a jump and take what comes, though that was and is still more or less impossible, although I could do it about the UK sooner but I couldn't feel comfortable with just a flip, thinking there is more than that to the reason of life than just making flips, though I am not at all sure there is anything at all that would matter in what we pick as long as it doesn't produce significantly more pain to the person making the flip. After that it goes to the next things on the Xmind's list or produces some new needs. I have many different pains and the cure to them is in three different countries and I can (in theory) pick only one.

Canada might have over 100M people in the future, and Australia over 200M people, so I don't think I am thinking ahead too late, but will immigrate (in)to an English language country (in) some life, there being no lacks then; the best path to take and the UK is a step in-between that might be smart for me in any life. My situation isn't getting any worse by me moving in the UK, it being from the hard factors point and from the future points of views the best pick I can make as far as I can now see - not being in the Italian persona that has only an opinion and not the facts or the technical goods and I should not pick something as fluctuating and non-rational as an Italian persona just because it's dominating some of the time (or half (of) the time) and I seem to think I would be up to miserable in the UK; hardly any worse than Finland for me and I get a good death there and can be happy to be there and about all the possibilities, people, doings and English, and it's more global in other way also than just the language.

English is on average no worse than Italian and one does not need to be in Italy for Italian and one won't need a smaller language group as one's mother tongue, just for the weather I don't get anything better in this life nor at the next by picking Italy.

There is even more action in the UK, at least for me. It's a big thing to have English as one's mother tongue. The emotions are not in Italy or even in Italian and it didn't beat English as a language even as an absolute with no global factors. Basically all one has with Italy is Italian and it's completely countered even with English alone.

But all that reason and clarity has been put into the garbage by the Italian persona time after time and anything said can be other viewed. I am sure this game could be continued, but if someone is winning, it has been going more to the direction of the UK, though because of my flattings problems and getting older and older, but more and more has become clear and it hasn't made a winning case for either one, and I am sure more things will come up also and will not make a winning case and under such a situation I am free to flip a coin and as long as I have my UK sanity, I cheat and make a flip picking the UK; I can't make a fair flip, it not feeling right.

But what all this means when the Italian persona enters and says it has just flipped a coin in favor of itself, and cheated doing so. Then I just say, okay, in Italy then.That is why this game is over really, though it will continue in my head and I will prepare both (maybe learn more Italian, but at least prepare Italy in one way or the other, and prepare the move in the UK, with the right persona in both cases, though some of the time more or less with the wrong or not clear persona also though it's not much fun then, or the technical moving preparations are hardly fun to me but it might get some more passion and energy to it), I suppose, and when ready with the preparations, I could make a premature move in the UK, as I don't know enough Italian to make a move there and don't figure to be getting enough time to study it before I think it's time to try the UK, and then I just book the fly and the hostel(s) and go and then the Italian persona wakes up (every month the latest, probably more often) to protest but there is nothing it can do anymore as I am to go then.

I never guessed that this case between these two countries could not be solved, but the reason was in two personas that have their likings and those personas in me fluctuate, although they come up and go as they like something or see a support to one or the other or a bad point against one or the other so from that point the facts could have solved this case, but I could think the facts will not solve this case anymore, or the only thing that has changed is my lack of recovery and my increased age, and they sure won't support the Italian pick, though there is nothing positive for supporting the UK pick, but I think there are positive aspects in the UK that I am not giving value to, or not seeing, and we 'love' things we give value to, they get into our hearts then and a lot of picks are made like that on every area of life, and the opposite happens too when things are removed (off) our hearts, when we do not favor them anymore.

The pick would be more difficult if I would have better Italian or I would not be as old as I am, and that leaves then the question if it would be so, what would I pick; with my UK persona, I say that I would still pick the UK with the expansions, as it's more rational and if possible, would pick Australia directly and so getting rid of any problems that Italy more or less can't dissolve; I don't want to put myself in a situation that isn't perfect. The only thing that stands between the UK with expansions plan, is the Italian persona, that in comparison isn't enough other than when it's X-dominating, that is then not as real, it being X-now biased, though it still is and an X-fact, a possibility and has many things in favor of it, but still.

The reason why this pick is the final is that the Italian persona is only a part of me (up to half) and if I change my pick of the UK to the Italy and then back maybe, it's then final and the game is over (hardly as it continues without end till solved), and in that case my best pick is the UK

If my Italian persona depends on Italian in Italy, something is not right, there being some other solution and I am getting things fine there in the English world also and I don't believe into depression in the UK but will try clear pink there and die, can't be all that bad and then continue in the English path that so has got more share in my heart and should dominate my picks in the next life also.

Has neither persona in two years ever failed to bust the other's pick like latest in two weeks? Even more often during the last year or so, when it has taken less than that, even just around a day, though I heavily believe into my decisions, picks, when I make them, and it seems like that's the way this game is going to continue till one side wins in a way that it fails to beat the other's view, though it's not a fair fight as the Italian persona doesn't have enough Italian ability and the changing factors make it so it won't be able to make it in time, although in theory it might during the next ten years. But whatever, the game continues till one side one way or the other wins.

At the moment it's for the Italian persona to bust these arguments, and that it figures to do in a way that I now have specificly the UK favoring attitudes and then some new factor is figured or found or/and the Italian persona comes up and gives support to some factors that overcome the reasonings of the UK persona. I won't accept love as the reason, as the Italian persona is just a part in me; I can't give it all my heart permanently. I won't accept sadness/depression and the decrease of awareness because they are not rationally supported to be based on some country.

And so I have been and will be closed minded and as a result missing the goods of the UK, to enter my heart and so they can give me warmer emotions about the UK, and the same for Italian in Italy.

No matter how rational it might seem, it being just a dream or biased in supporting only Italy on the positive emotions. I am cooler, clearer, more factual, more reality based, and more unburdened now and later and generally also more free, better freedom, with the UK pick. I don't think the Italian persona is able to bust these arguments (because they are not the priority to it) and as long as that stays so, the UK persona is preparing the move in the UK and then after some years it's ready and the Italian persona unlikely will practically win anymore and the major English path to the perfect world has started, and then (and now) there is a meaning to the life, and a meaning that goes all the way to the perfect (one picks Australia or gets, I suppose, a further meaning by picking e.g. Canada), that's not possible with the Italian pick for many reasons.

That's as smart as one can do; good outers (sooner or later a possibility on flattings and weather also), good mind and good emotions too if the conflict has been resolved (hard to bust an absolute). In the UK, I might live more or less in the limbo persona also. Optimally, I can't be more balanced and perfect than that. The (current) priority combines at recovery and picking the UK, that's also global in many ways, with more or less good (bad?) flattings and space and expansions. All reasons for picking Italy in my case have been busted. If ignoring the Italian (vs. up to a massive need of English in many cases) and any facts that might make the UK expansions less likely a realistic possibility. That makes it up to mostly a professional question.

It took a day to get the counter ideas for Italy or Italian persona and it just happened in like a moment, like it seems mostly to happen, for and against, and doesn't need some focused thinking but the ideas that more or less just happen, maybe some Ni but it's general living of the current new facts and the being. I didn't get the answer to the question if the Italian person needs to be in some specific country/language place, so it's not clear, and the UK persona is still on the possibility that the emotional things could (possibly) be resolved, dealt with in any country, even in the UK. The place and language in my case (like this) connects to specific personas and other things, attitudes too, so there is some 'work' to be done to get a change there.

English stimulating whatever it stimulates because of its more neutral nature (to me) and whatever it represents collectively and in my mind and even if I could change my mind there, there is basically no way to change the collective as that's what people are and what I will be dealing with. The language group being smaller than English is good really and even Spanish figure too big, and Italian could also, but it's worth the risk as a smaller one is a second rate alternative and possibilities are plenty less with like ten times less people in the country and the language group, though not that the Grand Helsinki doesn't have a lot to offer, it being a Grand city, and picking some small city in any country is asking for too little action (it's not clear if the "nf" person so needs more action and people but he too does things if he has hobbies or/and interests limiting his picks of the places) but and possibilities, while the big cities have more or less clear pink around them though some London might be so heavy on redness and actions much thee or near it that the possibilities of getting clear pink or even mere pink action can be good there too, and getting work as so also is likely possible, so the heavy redness might not be a problem in the Grand Mega cities, just offering more action, though the risk is always there that one will be dealing with heavy redness on some hobby areas.

Italian's written form is highly intuitive, especially to the one knowing English, it just forming itself logically more or less of the time. English is inferior but as a structure (grammar), but it's of secondary importance (from the absolutes point of view) to how it's written and pronounced, both being inferior to Italian (both being unclear, or Italian to me seems to be too fast to be clear) and from the absolute language point (not including the global and personal feel, personality points and structure) it would be wrong to pick English.

Not picking "(n)f" into one's life is lacking on emotional goodness, in nf-moral (and nf-understanding) and one has no balance to the higher activity of the "(n)t" then, and just like W&C has some balance between Si and Se, and Buddha has some balance between S and N, one figures, from the balanced and sort of moral or emotional points (a by-product of emotional harmony will produce the aspects of taking the emotions into count better while the NT/nt will spontaneously tend to be more harsh there, that doesn't mean he is immoral, just putting more importance to what's right or so), to better have balance between nf and nt, or t and f. One could be an sf also and it's fine from the balance point of view though some EP might be x-running too much as X-lighter and some IP could be too passive, running too little, that's fine for recovery but that's about it. But the SFs also have s-t balance as the influence of f is clearly there and seen, as it's with the NFs, while the STs have it more or less, depending on their orientations, but they all have their n in the f.

My Italian is a long way from ready and I haven't been putting much any time to it, but I can already write with it and speak it too, slowly, with the English structure. I have enough words I know actively that I am able to close to manage when I am doing the talking.

The important point is the nf or so, not Italian itself, although it has its absolutes value (word level clarity, [written] beauty, more emotional life maybe, as it's less neutral at least to me and though I might not be an "nf," I have a need or use for it, and it might be smart to include it in(to) my Xmind, as I know the problems of the lack in nf, both as harmony and wholeness as well as balance), while Italy too is sunny and warmer and so more optimal to an optimal person, that I though am not, and sunlight and heat isn't good to/for me, though they also have their goods and maybe some more to the Italian person and with the best luck such will make one to get unloaded some faster with any loads left and right, but just a possibility.

Italy is relatively poor in many ways to the UK (that also seems to be some poor, though) and expansions but it's a fair price to pay for the "nf," though to me the price isn't all that fair even in the best of the cases, that I get things okay there, or even find it a good deal till things/possibilities change to better in Europe, or to worse elsewhere. There being a lot of ifs that I would need to get to come true in Italy, and if using math, one needs to multiply those ifs together to get them all true, and that is too low a possibility to risk even preparing for Italy until one is living it as a program of nf (though I am just using that nf as a symbol here for the Italian person, me having a specific person in mind and not necessarily limited to nf but could be SeFi or whatever. The nf not being me even if it would integrate more or less permanently in me, but it is in me or a part of me and I don't think it's wise to ignore it as one might need or better to have some balance and understanding there, if one wants or thinks one should have those also). The possibility of Italy happening well for me is low to nothing (if one uses math), although I think its absolutes still get high enough points to make it unclear.

After one more day (when I did some thinking rather than waited for the answer - one can push them also, it being about getting things clearer in one way or the other), I don't think the UK is good enough, or as good a fit with the Italian person or/and so, and so there is nothing left to favor the UK in my case and some other factors also got clearer and also made the UK worse, there being now the majority votes for Italy over the UK, in my case.

English as global is an absolute sort of possibly but also basically too big a language group as a mother tongue (that is only optimal to to have). The Italy/Italian is an absolute for sure, at least to me, and close to English, and it helps me on the nf-part and fi, ti, se, ne(,) too, and in a more weather optimal place, although the flattings issue is much on the same pack, but I am not sure about anything there and one could use peas as much as one can and as much as they help and won't limit one's awareness-life too much.

But as a journey of what is useful to me psychologically, it might be Italy (Italian, nf) though I am not sure about the nf at all, exactly like this (and I could be SF also, or X-there, though I am sure enough that my nf needs some work and some more balance and views from there would be good), just that Italian, and Italy too as weather, will give delights to me, not there in the UK and retaining Italian in the UK is probably out of place.

I think Italy will serve me better, the UK not really offering me anything that important to top what Italy potentially can offer to me, and Australia is some 20M continent, that just is too little I think and also rather separated, although one could fly too, but it costs quite a bit and from the purpose point of view, going in Canada/USA might make more sense, and to die there.

But if I think Italian offers me more at this time, then it figures to be the better pick. Being in the UK would be just living in some (high) building box for me and having the UK weather around, and just maybe clear pink, just maybe a silent flat and nothing there to do that importantly in this life nor the next that it would beat my psychological situation and what Italy can offer to me. Although I take more or less loses on/in the hobby area but that's not too much of a price over currently more important priorities.

So, I have picked Italy and Italian (as clear absolutes and helps for/to my psychological - though not technical - situation), as I don't see I could have the Italian person or even the nf in the UK, as having Italian (persona) on the top there is just not placed correctly and motivated if even possible to exist, and I don't have enough goods in the UK to top the psychological (and absolutes) priorities that Italy can currently offer to me.

I would be living in a box in Italy too but I have some more fun with the weather (though not that it's much any time good for swimming as it needs some 25-27C perhaps as a minimum considering that one will not be able to be there during the top day perhaps, though later doesn't figure all that cold, especially right after work if possible, and weekends will be more full of people, though during pension one has a better possibility. The sea water and the whole scene some of the time at least looking non-inviting as maybe cold until it's really heating, and the combination of heat and water and more or less the sun is a nice extra in life, although if one needs to suffer it during all the other times, including when working, one might not like it, though one's body might adjust and one might not have too heavy a work, or one gets some outer air too in a shadow. Even 24-27C average tops can be a bother when working, just that it's not burning yet to me and I like when it hits the 27C and it's sunny, gets things nice some of the time of the year, and in Italy that last longer (that's fine also because under clear pinks and mere pink I might not be as much motivated to go much out, the state of the "dream" Aura keeping one put more easily, eliminating some motivation to change the state of one's being that's more comfortably like under the blanket, while at/in white and red core areas the case isn't like that and one can potentially find more emotional motivation for goings).

Not that one needs to be on/in the direct sun and that's something to avoid when it's 28C or more, when it might not be that bad especially with water and maybe a parasol (obrellone) if being longer there, and it's a reasonable holiday temperature and if it gets more cooling during the mornings and nights, it doesn't look bad at all, but more like an optimal perhaps when on such a holiday, though I am not sure as the 28C or over is very hot compared to just below, but not sure the water will be all that inviting with less, and higher the burning sun and maybe even the possibility of sharks, snakes, strong ocean powers and so might not be all that fun.

With the Italian and from the temporary purpose point of view as my possible needs, it seems to be just the right place to aim at; even if the aiming is all I get, it still being worth it as far as I see/know it now and more or less I am not mistaken about the nf nor about the absolutes, possibilities of the places and the languages here, the realities. So, a good aim Italy is for me, and clear pink is what I get now and see what it gives to me (it's also possible I see and understand some bit better here, without as many limitations to awareness, and I am also feeling okay in my heart and as long as things won't shake it too much and too long, that's then an abnormal state and not optimal reality, just that it then might prefer the support of the red core even. But optimally, the heart rates to stay okay/in balance even if it feels isolated when there isn't anything much outside compared to living in the red core (smaller cities might have mere pink cores but they might have too little action, plus mere pink is mere pink, e.g. I never experienced the center of Turku to be that big - at least it exists - and things are a bit spread out there, or the bus station is further away, and Tampere is possibly even more spread out, though the core of such cities rate to be more than that in Vantaa and Espoo as they use Helsinki also, but nothing too sure before seeing it. Smaller cities still, might have reasonable central and other action also, and it is somewhat about getting used to it also, and there are goods in space and feel also, but dead is still dead).

It will be a bit colder (and cooler) near the seas, colder winds too, and those are not nice extras in Finland, and some place like Lauttasaari and maybe somewhat Matinkylä comes to mind. The mere pink as isolated (from action) wasn't a good experience and was a spleepy one in anorther way like any clear pink also is (but more awareness, that is wakefulness) and one exists in that Aura like in a dream like sea, it just being heavier at mere pink and at heavier clear pink.

I didn't really like the lack of expansion of the mere pink area when it came back there after the summer aura's clearer pink at the mere pink area, where I lived on the previous flat, but there is some awakening aspect at the red core also(,) when it turns into a mere pink one during the summer aura, making mere pink an improvement over the red core (counting out people and action). When one is not in the dream sea of any Aura connection that much at all, one is just what one is and so more awake in one sense like the normal humans. One gets rid of the dream aura factors at the white areas but it's not comfortable to/for the heart, or to my heart at this time.

 I don't like the awareness and clarity/purity limitations of living in the red core, where the only good thing is that when one steps out of the door, one is there, just that I don't see it worth the bother to me to go there just for that, other than occasionally, although some work there , and living under clear pink, but I don't know what it's worth, one getting shoppings done elsewhere and in my case usually better (it might be hard to find much from the red core compared to Itäkeskus - or I got used to that place when I was living near it but the few times I was at Leppävaara shopping center I didn't find as much as I would have at Itäkeskus, although I don't prefer the Aura of Itäkeskus because the White Ocean hits it and it's not clear pink but more like mere pink with the white ocean while the ocean at the nearer part (to Helsinki) of Espoo/Vantaa is clear pink - and/including the biggest Prismas and so [Itäkeskus, Olari I suppose - near Matinkylä that also has a shopping center that might be something closer to Leppävaara, Kannelmäki that's mere pink and rather isolated though it has that shopping center and trains go there and some of the place has high buildings making the place at spots look like a city, though that's in minor parts so at many other places too and all in all together with a possible bigger shopping center look like up to the second and third rate big cities, though one can get bored pretty fast to any second rate center even as it's not some street walking and vast, so one might not get bored to it at the red core and it's nice it's there more or less as soon as one steps out of the door, though one in theory could do some travel to there, being an extra dimension and the closer it is, easier it being to get there. There are reasons why many like living in the big cities] and maybe only when running after [that takes too much time if one is just trying to find something, easier to go to those big places further away knowing they have a better collection] the small specific shops in the red core, that might make a difference and then one has plenty to shop if one tracks them down.

There used to be good big shops in the red core when I was like up to 20, but that changed and though there are more shops these days, it was usually harder for me to find things from there (e.g. right jackets seem hard to impossible to find, and one needs a minimum of three of them, and it takes time to find shoes also. Maybe one should try e.g. London when doing some shoppings) under some general store; just one more reason why I might not need the red core up to anything really, and having hobbies or/and work there wouldn't be clear pink that one in one or both of the cases might prefer.

All I know is that there are past connections, and people connections in any place, if one has lived there and so it's all familiar and has emotional connections too, not just action or/and people, and the core. But looking for the right spot, in my case there are absolutes/optimals as the clear pink, actions (up to the core) and emotional connections (all spots produce some to many emotions or feels or memories, although I wouldn't pick that over the absolutes if there is optimally a better place, and in theory there is and in practice there more or less can be and even as combinations where one lives, works, has hobbies or other actions at).

If something feels fitting and maybe the best pick a part (up to half) of the time, it doesn't figure to be the optimal pick, as the other parts of the time it might not be fitting (and even sad) but the optimal pick is up to never a bad (sad) pick and out of (the) place as much, and I might think there is a variation in life(,) but the optimal (absolutes and personal absolutes) picks hold the best in good and bad.

From the absolutes points, I think I might have the main things picked by now, and there are many of them, and the common thing to them is that they all produce more happiness on average (not always or even like half the time the best fits but still not bad) than the other options, and though much of the time it is hard to see, figure out or be at the persona, that sees some options as the best, and they might be seen even just a minority of the time, not following the optimal rule then, but what one is or at that time is(,) but still in the long run or/and what is good to one as the best pick, it might be the happiest pick and I have made at least one major pick bases on that, knowing it gives me improvement and also likely the best happiness of living for a long time (till I have recovered in some life and after that too it's fitting even if not the thing that gives me the most happiness then and not having a need for further recovery but that's a far far away and no point to try to predict it now and no need as it already covers the next 100 years or so and there is no harm as far as I can see now to not predict any further in this case, as it's a priority need for/to me for the next 50 years minimum).

Though I can't do all that much about all the limitations and lacks, problems and pains, that e.g. my state of overloads put on me, but I have and will work that to less, and I do get maybe some pleasure of the resting and of the very slow recovery as a sort of an utopia that though is going to come sort of true and get sort of better with years or tens of years with a step more every time, and I get pleasure from/of the optimals. I will further continue on the unloads, though not a straight fit with Italian but as a long run average, it's my best path.

I won't know what I know now in my next life but I know to improve my outer things also and if thinking it logically the next life and getting enough information, I have a possibility to make more or less of the picks I have made in this life, and maybe have things fixed by 20, and just maybe some Italian too studied by then though it's much less likely I would have picked it that early and it's not sure it even is in my possibilities and optimals in my next life and I am in a much better situation to pick more things in my next life that I am now. It will actually be dependent on if I will be reborn (don't end up dead), if I will be born on this planet (rather than on a more enlightened one), and to where I will be born on this planet, that all make a major difference to what I will pick under the current global situation, and so I have a current line/plan picked to each possibility, rather than just one plan.

If knowing the (relative) optimals/absolutes, one's inner and outer needs, the world out there, it's possible to make a good plan; to make good picks that make one optimally happier and better in many ways. Our optimals and absolutes are not the same for every same outer personality type, as our Xminds and needs etc., the whole pack, are different; having different paths, hobbies, x-functional uses as a whole, and any extra weight put on any minor priority, and one's optimal (merger) would be different, one making optimally a different pick, and even the current optimals not only can change - especially if one hasn't looked the long run of years or one significantly changes something - but will more or less leave out things, that one will then more or less lack and might need to deal with the sadness and pain of those loses, and maybe limiting them more, and possibly expand more on the picked areas (that's also Xpersona more or less changing), though not that cutting out variations (to being) is necessarily the right thing to do or even possible, but I haven't seen that even partly enough for many years (to come) and getting out of the limbo persona and variations (of being) hasn't been looking like happening for years (the planet can set one more fixed, if optimal, or then one picks something stronger for good), though my picks have become stronger and stronger, and they will be tested more or less instantly, as the opposite will make itself more attractive after one picks its opposite or so. I can believe that one can make a pick and the opposites or so will more or less give up, and dropping habits is one example where the opposites (the habit) will get stronger any time a pick is made against it, that is, till it is over-powered by will (and time) or the pick is so strong that the habit can't overpower it. But still, the variations in optimals are not directly about habits but basically by-products of the main doings, though of habits also, and then the sub-optimals (if I here call the up to 50% things so) have stuffs that one's optimals do not have, so it's not good only, when one drops other things, that are good too, just that one often needs to make at least a majority pick and live more or dominantly with it and as so more or less being, often more or less changing, with time too, one's Xmind, though usually staying the same outer personality type, but more or less being different because of the X/x-mind priorities, doings, beings, and then maybe with time changing the Xmind dominantly to another outer personality type, although one can put one up pretty soon also at the X-mind level, though I am personally not primarily doing so any more, though when the winds blow like so and I pick to X-go with something, then I will be spending more or less time more or less so also, but more likely I stay as an S-INTP, but I am not putting limits to what I will be other than I have picked some optimals and absolutes and if they lead me up to a major longer time and possibly permanently away from the S-INTP, then they will, but basically it doesn't happen, just a possibility until one really lets go and can let go to some winds and keeps going so, but the change of the Xmind (habits and loads) is at least as long as the change of the loads, and some additional difficulties are in the talents (at least temporary evolution) or/and in the knowledge (this life's memory - and when emptied maybe Memory/Habit/'Understanding') of the Xmind of e.g. how to use different functions to help one's life when needed, and the x-mind, X-mind too follow the laws of time-memory of what functions and things dominate there.

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