3/2012. I might still pick the UK as it has the global English that means the global mind and heart (while Italian is a silly language away from the global language center) and it's there connected to peace also, and it would be wrong to cut oneself from that, though one could always learn English and take a sunnier, warmer, more aesthetic place (language) and somehow go in Italy, and in the next life there are still all the options even if one is born in the UK, that would not be a waste at least not to me (no learning English nor any other language, even that alone pays that trip in itself, if one is reborn there, especially when not young anymore). But it's still about the values primarily, what one feels most comfortable living with and those values change in importance all the time, one being up and the other down, and then the other down and the other up. But I am again making a pick here, thinking that I will go in the UK some time in this life, and then it will be busted by the other factors being up, though I get to know more every time that happens. But it seems the pick is final this time and there is no lose over any other option so it can't be worse at least. The weather is not the only factor and even it isn't an all difference to Italy and I can have holidays, more so during the pension so the weather is not enough of a reason at this time to me, and having just near come out of Finnish winter, I can give value to the UK winter in spite of it being similarly dark.
This decision is based somewhat on the people heart (and security and practical facts, that all have been the factors making me change from Italy to the UK ever since the heart started to shake since late 2009, and without shaking - all peace, security, people, practical factors, recovery factors being good, Italy would be the pick, but as they are not it's a question of how much the heart weights the opposite factors during any time over optimal weather and aesthetic and sort of correct language and whatever other factors that are clearly better with the Italy pick) and if it would not dominate but the aesthetic one instead, this UK pick might never have taken place, so I am not saying it's final but it's final for the one writing this and I take it as final, though the opposite factors have already started to work to bust this decision and I already see they say the weather, language, the overall being and working in Italy in spite of the difficult factors (like learning Italian that it says is not a major problem though I see it's a useless language and counter it like that and if it so drops Italy, it has only some weather factors and they are not enough to put Italy over the UK in this life for me but if it gets Italian over English, then I will have to change this pick, but I don't see it's able to do that in this life for me, and if so then it won't be able to keep me at the Italian mode, that would pick Italy.
But this problem has now been re-opened and the questions is: Italian or English? Though I have positive visions of Italy too [that is not about inside life but about the weather outside and the aesthetic factors of Italian. The missing English, global, people factors, and of course getting any work in Italy might be up to too difficult and I might need to take any for up to years - maybe I should get some fast cards in Finland for some jobs, just that it figures to be difficult also. One might not get any help from the employment office in Italy (they might not even have web pages or even ordinary pages, though there might be some non/un-official employment offices also and they might even have web pages and they just might be fast in cases of some jobs though they might not have those jobs listed) without the tax number that one might get only with work, though what I know, probably just a pick, even from ones own country, and one might not even get work without it], but I also have positive visions of the UK).
I know the Italian persona would never pick the UK. But, I will re-evaluate the UK (and English and Italian, and Italy), and if I accept it, it will be final. Italian is useless, and so I should pick English, but it's not the whole picture, so I am not getting the answer like that only. I have been pressured by outer factors to pick the UK and I will need to deal with those things first and see what the reality (not what I like but the reality) is after that, and though my way to the UK was so fabricated, it still doesn't mean I should or could ignore it, though I might, but the global and people factors etc. are real, just that they get more weight when the outer world is being trouble for me, and I do see some things there better as a side result and so need to evaluate the factors once more but need to see what happens first outside and inside me to get to the reality exact and balance and then evaluate to the answer, though I don't have time for that and need to drop the case, though I can't as I need to make a pick. It being what looks like a persona and life difference pick also, being factors, not just places and languages.
It hasn't taken but a day and I have the main counter points clear again, and nothing has changed since I took a note of them first; Italy, Italian still produces more expansion, more light, while the UK belongs in to the world of darkness and lesser expansion, though not that my situation is good enough for Italy and I would be close to be in the UK but considering the happiness, expansion, absolute factors, the place is Italy, ready or not, though the factors for the UK and English are valid and that much more points to them, and in case there is no better option, it has been clear enough already that the UK is then the better place than stay in Finland, though taking some possible flat problems in case one might not be doing better but as the weather, English, place on the map, it's the better pick. Being pressed one gets better correlated with the darkness and dark heart of the UK and there is no light, expansion, even delight of Italy/Italian, the taste not being there, feeling semi-(de)pressed, semi-lonely,
The same as meaninglessness and both connected to imbalance, insecurity, the (black) heart, suppressed or so feeling deities = deities being like friends or people, then English - in the UK or not (London - very big city with a lot of people and action) - would be an outer something giving security and people, while in balance with the deities there are no or minimum of such needs.
Also not living in the N, but in the ST-nf or so specifically, might make one - more easily - feel more empty and so not feeling okay living alone. Though secondary needs, it doesn't mean one shouldn't get them supported with outer things, just like some warm and sunny place makes or can make one feel hotter - the UK makes one feel cooler (I am partly and mainly too hot and it helps but on the other hand a more outer life fits better to me and that cooler is with less light that though might be good but also the emotional life is in the dark and one is less expanded and aesthetics extra looks like better for the hot one as long as one is not flying too much though needs study of the language and all study is bad for me and the light side is sort of on the right though the left being under darkness and up to sad or/and like suppressed doesn't look like a correct state from the balanced point of view though might be exactly what's good for my recovery as it's with less light and cooler, though does that prevent recovery as a lack of x-need or make it improve, just possibly both) - more sunny, more light, more expanded, and some specifics like Italian can give additional factors like aesthetics and the absolute, and again they can be needs to some and again one might pick them also because of that, and not that they necessarily are objectively better though I bet the more sun and some more temperature is more optimal at some places of Mediterranean than in e.g. the UK, but it's relative too and there are other factors and needs, and likings of some outer/inner personality in other ways also, like thinking that the possibilities in London are possibly up to a major factor to weight, though could be a minor factor only and so opinions change depending on what one knows, additionally to what one needs or wants, and knowing what one needs or wants as a whole isn't necessarily easy to know, e.g. does one prefer English or not, does one prefer some London with its possibilities or some lone place somewhere, or something in-between those - one might also note that Italian is from much part English.
As a possible optimal being the best, one might pick something somewhere in between until one has a strong opinion to some direction but even a place like London offers isolation too but without the lacks in some possibilities.
semi-guilty, semi-sad, less secure. Music does fit in the UK as emotional life sort of not art or aesthetics (though not covering the whole case of it and even darkness has its own art). I again see the light and have more expansion just because of Italy/Italian, and I have picked more 'my' being, than what I am provoked to be, not to be pressed but stay where 'I' be 'happy' (as being or so and so actually), though its reality is shaky, but at such an 'inner' place I am not shaky and couldn't be at a better place. Too bad reality is so hard, but I am not yet at the spot needing to pick the dark side and till then I will go on the lighter and more expanded side that doesn't - when solid - have up to any of the darker side emotional needs. And I am not saying one is not to pick darkness and its emotions and a place like the UK and English even if they have such E/emotional connections, it not being the worse pick necessarily, to pick the darkness and its needs and persona and get the goods connected there to it also, but I am not going to pick it, but will need to drop into it, having nothing else and then I will see it through (whatever life I then have left), otherwise not. The many reasons for picking the UK can be countered and they don't seem to hold, just that at whatever opinion or mode one is in at, it always gives reasons to support its views, but I suspect such reasons (personal), though they are points and when they really take the weight, many other options drop, but when they don't weight that much, they generally do not hold, though not that one is to believe the opposite persona either and its points, but both can more or less bust or counter each others reasons or points, it then getting down to persona (though there might be the 'light' and 'dark' side too) and the hard reality.
It looks like all things have their natures as facts and feelings, and feelings are good and bad, pleasure and pain, and one figures to need to decrease the amount of the pain stuffs in the x-mind, though they are in many ways a part of the nature, they don't figure to be the ones one should keep at the top, at the x-mind, and that includes all things in nature, and so in this picture one would pick all things that produce the best x-mind at least on average, keeping the balance overall even if dealing with the black things or living in darkness, and darkness itself isn't necessarily bad, but more like the left side that though is not light and expansive, might be expansive inside in a way, though the nature of darkness isn't all clear to me; it's sort of on the left and is sort of known to be close the black feelings also, if one is not in a better balance, though in theory if being in a better balance one would be in the middle and so having more light. The head in the dark and cool doing some good to the one on the opposite, it being the right path (and not the absolute place) though for many a Place is what they are or/and want rather than (only) what they need though might be no good for the balance though one might like the opposite too, and the deities.
Any new emotional hits are x-hard to control if even possible or all the right thing to do, but in time their x-power gets less like those of viruses when the counters set in more and more though the problem might remain for years with a decreasing amount. Being unshaken inside, the state is positive, though one is then pretty unaware of anything but feeling up to all good. Italy might be light and happiness (on the surface) and the UK might be just the opposite, or to me. But all things have their natures, emotionally also, and though it depends on the person, their natures are basically relatively similar up to most.
As an S-INTP, that I am at this time figuring to remain as (an) X/x-mind also, I am making my major or so picks according to (the) 'IP'-box - where I will the most dominantly live at in this pick though with some fluctuations - and the UK/London. I have got more strength to my arguments for the UK and the two main things are the importance of English and economics (and the possibilities that I also feel good to be there around and together with English form much of the black heart's needs though security and so with economics also is in the area of the black heart), feeling more secure in the UK for both reasons as well as have less trouble possibly (the flat troubles might be problematic). I make the UK my base and have the possibility of spending more or less time elsewhere if I want more sun and temperature, so it's not that the bit worse C and dark winter is necessarily going to be the reasons for not picking the UK, and then there is Italian, it being the happier thing but I put it (the L2, aesthetics, and the Italian persona with light and expansion) to a second position as less important and I have a possibility of picking mental stuffs on that area, it not being that I am cutting the L2 and so off, and I don't necessarily expect the UK to stay all dark and sad for me forever, though I pick it too at this point if that's what it's going to be. The UK is cooler and less need to bother with language that are both good for my recovery, in my opinion.
I did learn much of the usual words of Italian more or less actively that makes it possible for me to talk some Italian, and I got the passive learning started as Italian to (English/Finnish) and they are much similar to English words, and after them, passively, it might not be too far to be able to at least read up to pretty well, though not sure how much they use the English-like words in Italian but I have a medium size dictionary so it should be good. Then there would still be a need to make all that active to pass the language test to get the nationality, that one might need to take, though it seems after 5 years one often gets a permanent residency, so the language in cases can be secondary. The quality and salary of the work in Italy is also suspect for me not only because of the lack of better Italian ability but it would be more difficult in Italy to get some picked work (and have the relative salary too at the UK levels - the salaries in Italy are generally some less and one might think that to be the average case and add it to the plus stuffs of the UK, though the minimum one needs in the UK is up to much more than in Italy, south part of Italy being often cheap to live). And I am not even getting in the UK necessarily as I might not get some more recovered (I might be done with it for up to life) and decide not to go then (or try as one is not necessarily getting anything, less so if picking), but in case things still improve, the UK is where I will go (in another life maybe, and it could be connected to all picks in ones life, and that change is the main pick, the place and all following it) with only the possibility that I start feeling so much better with Italian and Italy and under a somewhat better weather (and the warmer sea there though it's also about the persona pick and it has been put enough to a second place for me that having such some months per year isn't not all great also considering the holidays one more or less could take in the UK and if one wants, to life near the sea in the UK though that's not much but it's something) that I take the risks of getting things okay after enough recovery (the case is the active balance between my left and right where if I keep the L6 more unloaded, then the O2 needs to follow but I will be too loaded on the right to do more than little, but with the L6 also loaded, the x-balance is there, just that one is Xloaded as so also, being like NT, and if dropping one or the other, N or T, one is too much on one side, that then needs to follow in the long run, putting limitations into ones doings) and hope things to remains happy there, hoping it not being based on my imagination too much.
And it's possible I might end up to that state of the x- mind and comparing it to the more or less sad and dark and less expanded pick of the UK, I might find it hard to pick the UK, though the reality and the facts say I should pick the UK (if I get or take even that) and when it comes to Italian Plus and the weather, it's not that I am lacking them all that much in the UK as the weather is not all bad there (compared to Genoa) and I don't need to spend there every day of my lives, and some clear pink(,) silent and warm flat in the UK (and without too many little animals and rotten structures) and things would be good enough, though I am not all expecting to get all that. And this is not a lives decision though I have picked the path of English too and put Italian to the secondary place and will see in time what to do with the light and expansion and delight stuffs that are basically missing in the UK(,) though I get something else there instead and can have some of the plus stuffs of the Italian persona, though when the first, it doesn't like the pick of the UK, but it doesn't have too much of a pick in my life at this time.
This pick is not based on persona only as 'I' picked the persona (because of the arguments, and it's not picked by me but by the hard reality as I would basically not make this decision otherwise as it's not the best from the absolute point of view, though some hobbies and doings and other likings can pick this, but I would not have made this pick without the harder reality) rather than the persona picking the place, and the hard reality is saying it's the best pick as long as my Italian persona doesn't come too strongly to say it can't pick it and at least tries Italy first (a long shot, including also a lives pick).
But I have stronger arguments now to keep the Italian persona down or so, giving it (dangerously) just some fun space at times and maybe more then in the UK finally, being like so and just maybe happy there too, just having the UK as a base, though it's mainly the place where I would be living, and it's up to a necessary (or the better) pick for me at this time (of me and the world), and it does have expansion possibilities also to any English language country (English as the priority is half, maybe more, of the reasons of my pick(s), though economics and possibilities too and all these reasons are more or less connected to the black heart reasons [that prefer the picked things to be around] - e.g. Italy being the light or red heart and not directly/fully picked by me at this time though there is a possibility of some of it and the expansions(,) while in Italy the black heart picks would not be the priority that I have put them to be for/to me at this time, and if they would not be the priority, the black heart can be made to more or less disappear by being in the red heart, there being no black heart then, being like light and darkness), though my rebirth in the UK is just a possibility, but it's an additional good, and if it won't happen, my pick of (the) English might remain for lives, though it's based on the hard reality and not to what's best according to me, that has been the difficult part in making a pick.
It seems, I can't pick the UK as it makes me (more than) sad for the reason that there are absolutes in Italy and at least relative opposites in the UK. It would be like going back in evolution in/to dark ages. The English factors also didn't hold all well as it's just a possibility of a rebirth there and even then I figure at this time to get out, though might pick a place like Australia but it has English darkness (it's not clear, though not that Italian is always or generally optimal as pronounced but English doesn't make/keep me happy/delighted, not counting the economics that are better in the UK and more or less a pain in Italy, though not necessarily because of lower costs, depending also on what work one does, e.g. a minimum salary work in the UK just covers living costs if they are low) and no sure one gets or goes in Australia and there isn't that much a point until some Mediterranean is so horrible that one has to (the flats in Italy figure to have more or less heating), though Australia's economics might be so seriously better that it together with global (and when needed in ones education, work) English makes it better than the Mediterranean and the weather (and all perhaps) in Australia is more or less just as happy as that in Mediterranean and I see no reason why Australia would be inferior to Mediterranean and being comfortable with the global English and likely better economics of/in Australia, seem to make it at least as good, though with limited professions that might get there, making it questionable, and I haven't even closed my pick of persona and professional path for lives. Italian from much part is very close to English, making it easier to adopt at least reading ability with English. No UK point, though somewhat stronger than before, held horribly well (if one is ready to pay), except the possibility of not getting work in Italy, that's the main problem now until one is ready to do anything for an unknown amount of years, though even getting anything might have at least technical problems. And like half the young people in Italy and I suppose in Mediterranean, are without work, and in Italy at least, maybe 30% of the works are got under the table, and maybe even more at higher education jobs, the rest will be picked of tens or even hundreds of people (this makes it necessary to be more competitive these days). Of course, this (Italy) too doesn't figure to be the final answer (if for no other reason but the hard reality), just that I weigh/stress the happiness factor more here and I don't at this moment pick the UK because of it, while if Australia is better, it might be (for/to me - for some the English factor might be some more a downer, blocking or more the further happiness) but I don't really have anything to do with it in this life. I can again just close the case.
I have (again) enough material to make a theoretical practical goal (I have made a more or less this same one long time ago but here it comes again after more information), where I will aim in Italy (and there is no Australia in this life for me, though I am also thinking ahead, not just thinking I go/get somewhere in this life), that has a better winter (I don't like the Finnish winter [half of the year] and much of it is because there is like no sunlight [11-01] though the minus temperature is a big reason also - six months have minus C average lows, that's also a point during one's working years if one wants to avoid lower morning temperatures in any country, picking the better city for that, e.g. I could aim in Genoa primarily, because their morning temperatures seem to be higher and summer temperatures lower, plus it's a north bigger city) as well as can have a better summer and the extra sufferings of trying to get it instead of the UK do not at this point seem all too much to me (though it will be tough for/to/on me) (even without considering a possible Mediterranean rebirth), so it's the pick over the UK. But if I don't get in Italy, or will pick the darkness (light might be "just" light but that's nowhere near the whole case here) or so for one reason or the other (the case is closed and growing; I can't know what the final or so answer - if any - will be. It just looks clear that I have no major reason to pick Australia over Italy, them being basically optional, though some goods and bads both have but they balance out and it all comes down to what's most practical, though there are at least some possible economical and flatting reasons and the death in Australia has less people around, in case that matters to me that much but that I will more or less know or so in my next life seeing where and to who(m) I will be born at), I then try to get in the UK (not necessarily possible from e.g. India, and India's average salaries compared to living costs are fine, that's not the case in many countries where one needs a higher education to be able to rent ones own flat, that seems to be possible with ordinary salary in India, though one needs to look into that before picking a profession and some base education jobs pay better than the other though some jobs make moving inside and outside the city/country more possible, the weather is okay, more so to an Indian, though depending on where there one is born and considering the languages are different at different parts of India. Some cities in India rate high as clean, modern buildings, and so. Working in a richer country would make it possible to have a car and maybe an earlier pension in a cheaper country, or a death in Canada, though with select higher educations and getting work also, but it's more difficult to be reborn but in North America then, if I wasn't born in India or to such genetics - practically all of them in India), also considering my flatting situation might not get any worse in the UK in the long run. And if I don't get in the UK, then I will just try to get a silent clear pink flat from Finland and wait for the/my next life (with Italian or not), maybe at some point being able to take some holidays even during the winter - I suppose at least during some of the summer and maybe a bit elsewhere (at least Italy and the UK are on the list, the latter mainly for getting maybe a better feel of/to how it's to live there, enough temperature and maybe sunlight, though that won't cover the winter until spending the whole winter there or one won't experience the whole winter) is on the possible list, when older. If I end in the UK, I will then more likely make my goal to get in Australia if I happen to be reborn in the UK, as I am already having (the) English and it's not much if any of an extra trouble then to pick Australia over Italy, though getting in Australia (in the next life and in any life as one needs to get in) isn't sure, though not that some Italy is necessarily any more sure. The persona, just maybe I get during the old age to spend more time at the S; currently I need the sort of an NT to better deal with the situations I have, though other personas can be up also as more and needed, like the ST, and even selected NF/nf can be good in balance as/if they have enough positive energy, but just maybe I will get things good enough somewhere in the future, so that I might be able to live still more at the S, if that's what I pick to do still more, that can also be good for my further recovery (the average load levels also in the NT-balance needs to decrease, so I will have limits to what I can pick there, and all needs to be good in that times outer reality), living up to another childhood during my old age, though at this time it doesn't look like I will get that possibility good, or pick it.
I can take some holidays to cover some of the missing four summer months Italy has, and swimming in the sea is nice but not all life and limited to those months mainly, and sun is 'just' light and I am fine with a good inner life and doings to pick some three dark months when it's not too cold, and it will be interesting too, the darkness. Economics, work, all things come up, but the thing that made the final difference was thinking that learning Italian is too much work and rather than being ready like ten years from now, I will be free right now, and there is also a change in my doings of life as I will be picking the UK, and it has emotional and mental life and some doings not there in Italy, and best recovery and I do not necessarily need to ever learn another language than what I am born with as long as it's English (not sure if one needs to learn other languages e.g. in higher educations then, e.g. in the USA that just might be the case, additionally to the higher education costing 100k, and it isn't free in the UK either as far as I know, or maybe in Scotland it might be, and most of the higher educations might even be useless these days or usually even, not getting work, and the paper costing 100k and energy is sooner or later worth up to nothing if not being competitive with work experience, and the numbers, considering the competition, but if all goes well, the higher education might be worth maybe 0.5M lifetime, or just a life long burnout).
After a pick of the UK, I will be relaxed first, then tense somewhat some time for the preparations and so for some of the time, and then sadness hits at some point but I figure the tension passes and is temporary and of course gone when I am done and in the UK, while the sadness must be an illusion as it's not in Finland and the UK is not worse but better, and I just find clear pink and good enough flat in the long run at least in the UK and I will be as fine as I possibly can in this life, having picked the maximum of what I in theory could get in this life (or I have some other options in my mind, but it all depends on how the world turns out to be in the future as it's changing every year somewhere, or I am changing because of doings and learnings), and it's possible I might stay there till the world has got better in many ways, so it's not just a place where I could be in this life and then go away. Though nothing of these thoughts is worth anything but just as an addition to my growth of/on the subject and me, but this is how it's now and I will try to close the case for good, during my lifetime.
If I would pick the Italian persona (like EP, that's likely not the best pick or even possible for me at this time and in this life, or even for lives) it would not be happy about the UK pick and would rather take the worst of it overall, though I am not all sure the sadness is of the Italian persona thinking of picking the UK over Italy or if it (also/alone) has to do with my sadness on the left side so to say, like the IP-nirvana instead of the happier Italian EP-nirvana, or so to put it, but integrating those two personas is not likely possible as they have different likings and priorities and are two and not one, can't meet (they can exists only at separate times - like any likings change in all of us based on different things like unloads and picking likings and Xmind addictions though not being dominantly that functional persona - and that's more or less like I am at the x-mind level and any unloading of the left and/or the right makes a difference to it also, one is more at S, like one seems to be when the left is x-unloaded and when it isn't one is at some N [it has more energy, and one is in it, it is in the x-one], and when one unloads the right also - after the left generally [or at the whole case as one can unload the right (and/or the left) a bit without deeper left unloading it being like work-rest] in my case - one is then at the SF [additionally picking likings or/and supressions of some functions like Ni then make it e.g. SiFe or SeFi] as one is not at the N nor at any liking, doing nor energy forms of the T, and that's just from the unload, the other being picking likings [or/and mental supressions - not energy unloads that though generally goes to the same spot just 'deeper' as it's with unload, too] and with that taking that functional form).
I am maybe not (so) sad as long as the Italian persona is so far away that it won't see anything much, but only the/my IP-persona is there and seeing nothing wrong really as it doesn't value the weather as much, the sunlight, expansion, colors and feelings, and doesn't really give value to life priorities based on those and feelings, it putting the major value to the goods of the UK, recovery too, some cooler, things rather than feelings with light, expansion, up to flying (emotionally, or mentally in case of the NeTi perhaps, though with SeFi the NeTi is the mental visual part only, the being here as Se with Fi being the major). It's a radical pick of the persona but I am perhaps closer the IP as that's what I am supposed to be deeper down also, and I have practical recovery and things, reasons to pick the UK and whatever persona is the happiest or so there, picking up to all from the IP-box (likings then make it so) though other things and even opposites might fit but mainly it's an IP-box thing at this time.
The only major difference in Italy is the "little" more temperature and sunshine (four months in the UK are basically dark, Italy having four hours of sunshine instead of one or two. The summer heat might be some problem when working even in Genoa even with (24-)27C though not that the morning part rates (to be) that hot. The sun in the UK might though on average be somewhat less strong, more pale, also considering what the pictures seem to show even when there is sun in the UK/London),
and overall it's not worth it to me considering my age and situation. I get a lot of things in the UK that I do not get in Italy and just giving up mainly of the additional weather is a/of low cost at this time of my old and invalid age. The language, that I would not use much in Italy anyway, at my old age (also the goods of learning it are less with (the) old age), and it's just a language, though not that I could pick some Spanish (the deal would need to be exceptional) but English is neutral to me plus global (top important - I might make it a strong priority - though if not getting in Australia and being young and okay, one might like to pick something weather better than the UK, in case one gets even there, and if not from the EU, one might then "go" in Canada instead, if one can handle the weather life, though both in the UK and Canada one just might be able to get some holidays though that's not fully standard - with some works more but one would need to pick - and then one might not pick these weathers because of it, but still, there are (the) other things than the weather to think about) and I don't need to study it, up to ever (even if need to, it's more or less compulsory anyway). To some people learning languages is easy and they are not going to do unloading, but I am not (n)either one, and a person like me (INTP) should aim to make everything as minimum as reasonable. In theory, if one could get the free time, one could spend like three months in some dorm or whatever somewhere like in Dubai (though I saw one has a 55 age limitation as the top but that hasn't been anything general for many years though they have such limitations often in Rome at least also, like 35 or so, and booking options and limits are limited) and that could be all holiday time, considering that one has more free money (and maybe a better job, that also might mean more money) when working in the UK, though not that sleeping in some dorm is great. I could use teddies with an alarm, and maybe get enough silence. And if no alarm needed, then it's further easier, and if it's cheap to pay for someone. And maybe one could do camping also somewhere, even in the USA and Australia (they might be too hot but won't collect heat like houses can and do, and might be protected from direct sun more or less), that are generally safe and high level, but the extra money to fly there can be a problem if not living nearer (in Europe and so one doesn't necessarily need to go beyond the EU or double that), though on pension one is generally relatively poor, up to very poor if not from rich countries. The only major way to bust the UK now for me is to put me in the Italian persona - that's then at least not in my case able to pick the UK, but being 'put' might need some facts to support it and I am putting mountains on the top of the Italian persona. And Italy is only a long run possibility, and the persona might need to be something else, plus it isn't often the best deal.
I don't think I will pick the UK until I have to if even then. I like the weather and freedom of picking my profession and working times even, in Italy (over Australia) and I can relax about the killing sea and land animals of Australia and about the whatever that country will be in my next life (and further) and if getting there then anymore or not, just so many ifs (though not that some other country is free of ifs, especially when adding the language needs and the investement to that as a possibility only until one gets there without it) and so, there being the Mediterranean right there and the only problems there are the possible economics and flatting problems, and especially what one is ready to do for living for lifetime. I would go in Australia if I would have been born with English, but thinking I will be born in the UK if I die there, is just one of those ifs and I don't want to build my main strategy on ifs - though I might build it on absolutes or something else - but just take them as extras, and I am more likely to be born in India though I might be born to the nearest fitting outer persona(s) - genes - perhaps, perhaps just as likely. And with luck the flattings are not too bad, though with bad luck they are horrible, one then living practically outside as being inside it is not comfortable though one might use hearing protection but it's not full life, though the usual it might be. With Italy I am giving up better possibilities, more action, but I am thinking about the here and now as a feel, making it a/the priority, the rest being secondary and as they are not so bad that the priority would change, they will be ignored by me. I think the here and now as well as its related outer persona is the better pick for me (and it figures to be just that it's not realistic or whatever for me right now), ignoring the other factors and even the reality as I am not easily getting anywhere and now adding the language problem (I will be pressed by it, though I think I can continue the recovery in the next life, dropping out of school anyway as soon as I figure to do so, if I pick to do so. I am ignoring all reality and picking the absolutes and putting my fate on them and (to/on) my good luck. Other than the language learning in Italy, I don't think the UK is better for my recovery as the colder and darker that's near the usual there, can make the mental more, while the opposite can make the mental less, and also the absolutes as here and now - and happy at those points - correlate with the lesser mental, like light [the left helps to keep the mind stiller not just speed things as light and heat - the latter too could slow as well as both are good when at the unload] and warmer weather, the mental generally not having been a quality of the 'south') and work, and the difficulties of getting the work things good if any, but I am just ignoring them and if they fail, I can always try the UK later, or just not go anywhere, and that much I have reality here.
I am not really making a pick here against possible illusions of depressions or so in the UK, but I count in just the facts of Italian and Italy (over the English and the UK as mere facts) and see no major reason to make English the priority over the here and now. This is my priority now, and the better weather in Italy fits fine to my recovery, better I think, and if I go and get there some life, I will deal with the language learning and possible work problems in the long run if not sooner, and I have a realistic possibility of dealing with them soon or well enough, and though I have just a possibility here, it's still worth it for me. Ignoring the realities, that are not producing any good feelings, I am feeling good (the best) about the base Italy pick (even if it would take a lifetime or more to get there) and it's the right thing to/for me to do it seems. (As Australia might be, with somewhat different goods and persona but I feel the best with the base/absolute Italy, just having more comfort and so with the Australia pick and from that part it feels more comfortable, easy living [one can it seems at this time get there with no higher education, though not necessarily with what fits one the best without personality and attitude etc. changes], and from a part in absolute - and any added dangers and isolations - it might feel a bit uncomfortable or something.) Absolutes (optimals/optimums) and happy/er.
60M is plenty and Italian is close English. The UK winter (1/3a) is dark (1-2h vs. 4h in Italy) and colder (no major downtime of weather in Italy, though not that in numbers the winter is all different but I see/experience the difference in C and as sunshine, and sunlight, much because of February (the latter half, or a bit earlier) in Finland that has more light and sunshine, as well as I know pretty well what those Cs are, for me at least, balance/energy and facts related), there is a top (double) summer compared to the UK (though one possibly can take holidays, possibly not, or won't), there are no other options on this planet for me until born with English, so it's Italy only, in a distant future, though it even likely isn't on the list from India (etc.) but staying there if it's okay, and if need to move from India, English is then more likely the one that picks the place, being the common language in India, at least till they replace it with Hindi, though it might not happen, but some 40% of people there already speak/born with it, and the language one is born in India with isn't high as English, though it likely will stay as compulsory, as maybe Hindi, and is compulsory with higher education (and it seems many take private schools in India where the language is alternatively English or Hindi). Maybe India will split into separate countries, that it though next to already is, and likely likes to stay that way. A possibly/likely compulsory Hindi adds an additional compulsory language to non-Hindi states.