8/2011. Italy is now out again as it's too unlikely, and being a fish in the UK is then to be, though I don't expect it to stay all so and it's about personality that these picks are connected to. I also don't think I like the heats of Italy summers in this life. The weather in the UK is the one for me to pick. To keep Italian, I suppose it's not too much to take a look into it a bit here and there but not sure of how it connects to the UK as a whole as it's also then ideal to deal with Italian also, but the point is not fitting really, the UK being a pack to itself, kind of like a shower, and the flame just doesn't fit in there; water and fire. Or Italy is more air than the UK, that's water. Though those can change some but the UK in my mind is a pack to itself, and as it has become late and Italian needs study and the pack as it's also cooler fits to me better, I then need to deal with it, starting the round of its life from now and see where it leads (Italian could fit in the picture of staying in Finland and take more or less of the rest of the life as recovery but live the dream/personality, like forgetting the 'fact' of death and preparing for the next life like it would start instantly after this one with the same views, that it more or less figures to if one has picked the persona clearly enough not having other strong options but a move to a more sunny country, more or less the economics and how safe and so it's to live there, and then maybe language factors - that I might look into too though it depends of the personality and doings then and I don't know what I will end up being in this life and the next life might be for recovery though nothing prevents me picking the things there and producing myself a good life, and the only knowledge I might be missing being about the pink though I might be missing the Brahma Awareness all my life there so it would matter up to nothing, though I also have the knowledge of the chakras and the loads but I don't see it even likely leads in to dropping the active sex when there is no major need. But one of the goods of my life in this life is the decreased amount of sex addiction/load, that will then give me more goods of it in the next life too, though it might be rather easy to more or less overuse sex/orgasms and get in trouble and then anything is possible. That sex thing as a whole is one thing that I wonder in this universe and could only think one positive thought that we are in a rather primitive time to have such transitions from the animal world and as the production of more humans - that people in theory just might produce [and contact with people more often and with a need] more in white areas, but any action and so could keep them just the same and there is more action in the redder places, but people that do not like to produce children are basically not living in P/people emptiness and even as totally un-Enlightened in the red core I was up to pushing people away and had no need for them and that was the case as totally Enlightened too in the red core while some of those are about doings and personality too as some can't just be or so though their people need is then different, them basically/sort of needing them to their mind and not the heart), though as I moved on the edge of west Helsinki, it has been pink and I have been feeling myself different, but the same things about the UK and Italy still more or less happen here too, but I will now ride on that wave of the UK and see where it leads me (the reason I am doing that is because of the facts of being late as well as the overall situation of my life and this place, that ride just fits fine here [combined with the drop of my dreams for this life, this pink, somewhat distant place that adds to the nirvanic aspects that's like pale water and up to a a fish thing - though that depends of what side dreams I have on - and the pink supporting the heart here and then one could just drown in that space and that nirvanic existence being my main to all life], more so when the winter half is going to happen soon, it getting all that much more Si or Introverted, colder, that one can just step in it as well as feel the cooler weathers coming and then starting again after the winter; depressing, it does look like it but getting used to it and it can be better and cool, in the UK, without the winter, and it's real nice to get rid of it though it will still be rather dark or non-sunny there during the winter), though not that it's so full as a decision as it's nowhere near I would be going there but some change happens already. I don't see the UK as something major in my life, especially if I would end in some good place and flat in Finland, not sure what's the point then, but if Italy (and Malta) is out, then my secondary pick is the UK, and only if I get healed enough and Finland still gives me trouble, I will leave for sure, in the UK, and that's the main thing why I would be going, the UK as itself being nothing much to me, though some, but if things will be good here, I might not go, but it depends of many things and I am not necessarily even going to get an option to do anything but stay here. The positive things about Italy and Italian, if I just would fit into the picture, would be like a color picture compared to the non-color picture of the UK, though I am trying to see the good things about the UK and statistically it doesn't look bad enough, though how much it improves over Finland isn't clear and so the combination of Finland with dreams of something other than the UK fish, though it's still more or less an invalid life, and if getting well enough, one could add something what looks better than staying in Finland, and so I suppose I will have the dream of the UK still alive till I see a couple of more years and then I will just stay here, adjusting to the remaining of my life and seeing what persona(s) to add to it, and I have a couple of them based on doings, and as doings, one is different, so what I think at some point as being the fitting persona, doesn't have much importance though I have decided that I am an S-INTP and base my life on that though I can pick to be a variety of things on the x-mind level and with time it gets deeper as the Xmind too though not that the outer persona necessarily will change. But as long as I don't have a positive view of my future in this life, I don't feel that well to have a positive aura in my life but the nirvanic one instead (that's also sort of there about the UK just that the UK is not empty in the same way like nirvana is when it comes to the mind but about the heart they both are like nothings to me, the nothings having just the base existential things but without the heart being so if any happy though the existential things can be comfortable and have a sense of happiness as so and that needing to be the thing one needs to adjust in/to, as an invalid or not, though when not being an invalid one generally can fill the x-mind with things that make the heart more happy), but that all depends of my picks, e.g. I could pick the Italian persona and just live in Finland and no matter what, keep the dream persona, though having put down the reality of those dreams in this life, it can make it hard to do with the view only of the next one and the general state of being in this invalid life of mine. It would sure be much easier to me to know what my state of recovery will be after some years, though I am just expecting, based on the past, that it will not be good enough and that I will have the options of Finland and just possibly the UK, but I don't really know what I would be doing in the UK, other than get rid of the possibly still worse situation in Finland. I will be going somewhere if I get well enough and things are not good in Finland, there being no doubt about that; I know it to be the case then, and as Italy is realistically out, I just forget all about it and to have any dreams left I will have the UK on/in the picture where I have recovered enough, and then it's about how much that recovery is vs. what the Flatting situation in Finland is. Picking the absolutes is not in my view on option when one is an invalid, where one needs to pick a life that's best to it, it being a practical rather than an Absolute decision, and then one just jumps in the nothingness and lives a nothing life till one gets recovered, that being the priority, nothing else being possible (one more or less can't keep even the dreams anymore as it's not realistic enough and is not happening in the near enough future as one just might need to live one's life, not some life 40 years later in an another life, and so the dream dies and one becomes something else, though with a more or less miserable or non-happy heart but that looks like the reality of the situation, though one can have a plenty positive look into good things having got and more recovery happening in this life and hope to have good Flatting and then one can sooner or later enjoy some more positive things too and die as a happy man, and having a positive look into one's life and future as connected, feels plenty good, positive, but all that needs to be realistic for it to be real, though one can live in unrealistic dreams too and have a positive life for many years and even for lives, just based on unrealistic positive thinking. One is also to see the whole picture rather than the weighted negative aspects of one's life, and that's part of adjusting to a new situation where additionally problems also tend to become more nirvanic, though miserable lives there sure are and by picking against the absolutes, one might be going in the direction of misery, but when one has possibly no option, that is then living with the reality), just that one might need to predict the future to face it the best when it happens. It's not nice not to be able to pick the lives that one likes, but needs to pick something else and adjust to it and see what if anything more happens as a result of adjusting to it.

It seems, my current pink place has made me see the/my pale reality more clearly and it happens to correlate with the UK air as this current pink I am living under is cooler and more spacial as awareness (not red [not white]) together with it still being in the bottle, like a Place, with an atmosphere of its kind. I can also think that that same or other pink is there anywhere in the world, like in the UK, that this weather in (south) Finland and this bottle as serenity. That makes the difference to the UK less as I feel more like "its" air and atmosphere at this place and as cool it correlates to the UK and not to Italy. The major practical matters are there in the UK for/to me, and in this life more so, and Italy feels for the first time to me smaller than the UK, because of the practical and global and city matters, to me. London is a great city from the action point for one to move in any time and in any life and it's plenty global as language and people from all over the world. The weather to me is also better for flatting in the UK as 26C with 60% (that is has been in Finland or so just about all 6-8 2011 so far) is too high, and below 22C is too low, though not that I necessarily will get good Flattings in the UK for some time, but at some point, and I don't have to live in hot flats (that together with the possibly high moisture that makes the air feel more heavy and is a discomfort factor, plus it can make the things, clothes more wet though that doesn't seem to be the whole case on this pink area - that's not all far from the sea though it's only a possible factor - but I do feel its effect in my body while I didn't have any of those problems in white area, and as the redness on this pink area has been increasing, I have felt the wet more on the body and then on clothes too, and at 26C with 60% I am already feeling it much/major uncomfortable and all because of 28.8., and having the window open is important though it seem the one under is smoking like all the time during this time and it's not impossible considering that that I as a long shot am having his lung and so problems. The wet thing is a part of 26C with 60% but the problem is not there at white areas [though when it's 28C or more the body is in trouble there too but I didn't take a major note of some wet problems there nor did I at relative clear pink at this west Helsinki place at 26C with 60% before the mere pink hit in, before that things were without the impacts of the more red and everything, including clothes, body and light, were clearer, cleaner, like less loaded and one is more clear, and one can be more pure too, and so things have more light, clarity, purity, cleaner, more comfortable and the awareness is more in the air as the redness in the body doesn't limit it as much or one is clearer, cleaner and sees better, and one feels/sees more bliss, and is possibly sort of less centered though there are many kinds of being centered and one can be centered in the clear pink too, and there are many kinds of such and my flat's aura isn't all mine yet, and I have other people living around here, and the silence/peace is not what it would optimally be most fitting when doing nothing or so in a clear pink area as to be with it fully, needs other than noisy smoking neighbours, so pain in paradise and one is not as "centered" as it potentially could be while being more 'centered' as a result of more redness, limitations to awareness might give one some piece of sort of a point of support also, to the head, while the clear pink is more a support to the heart, but I don't know now how to put it as when in clear areas even in Kontula, the noise problems might feel somewhat less as one has an outer support that feels sort of like silence, but that wasn't a clear point noted even in that case, just some aspect and noise is noise - and smoke is smoke - and it's always bad when it bothers, more so when it comes from neighbours - who additionally could simply not be that noisy, but are, so two bothers are that it comes from maybe inside and that they don't care as much as they should, the main thing is that they cut the harmony, the one about inside peace from neighbours when noise coming from one's own flat might bother less, even if constant, as well as some more innocent and less bothering noises coming from outside, and when the noises outside or inside are products of not caring, they have a better possibility of bothering (I have lowered my own rights on this point as it would bother me more if I wouldn't have; also, it sure helps that I have noise protection systems in my ears and as using music some of the time, and in this flat though I hear more or less through them and/if I am listening music [not sure how much that might lower the recovery and I wouldn't use it as much under ideal conditions as it's nice to just be then, even in Kontula it usually even was], but it puts it on lesser bother level, giving me more peace, though that sort of can't be heard as there is no silence to be heard, just more or less noise protection. I also need to protect against e.g. the shower like noise that figures to be there all the time when I need to open the warming systems to let the warm waters to flow when it gets colder. The smoke protection, one might need to take some more distance to the window - as well as during the winter it figures to be closed perhaps while during other times or the summer and autumn the moisture would bother more with the windows closed at least under the redness bother - that might help more or less and I might also try stuff in my nose - maybe I should keep the mouth shot too but I might not be able to get air in my lungs then - if it would eliminate some smoke and perhaps the smells of this flat/house too, that might additionally be bad for my health even. It's also possible the smoking comes through inside channels as I have repeatedly smelled it in kitchen too but only when the window has been open; the smoking might get sucked in from other flats through inside channels like ventilation when I open the window and there is smoking in some other flat, though I have smelled it on the window too, though not as often as I would have expected. I have tried to place my living away from the line of the kitchen and the window when I have the window open but it's not necessarily working enough if any. Stuff like this just being what my flatting life has now been and I do my best to adjust to it to maximum comfort as well as I am trying to get still better flatting conditions)] and not that much if sort of any [likely not significantly at 26C with 60% but could be some more if one of those increases though I don't have a test and clearer pink makes things feel more comfortable also, not just being a lesser pressure factor like lesser moisture and lesser temperature. The redness sticks in the body and is an uncomfort factor to it] in clear pink areas. And it's the last week of 8 already where the redness level during the second half of 8 has already been significantly increased and thing now are much as normal though one might still see the summer aura's more clear spaces but it seems one won't feel it anymore, and that was so in the city center too [that was everywhere feeling like spoiled air with the extra comfort of people, the win-lose phenomenon] while the pink areas at the same time have got more redness to them that one feels so and as a stronger Aura (that I might feel as too much in my current pink flat while it makes the Aura in Leppävaara stronger and it feels better there - at least when outside but I suppose will be good inside too. In my current pink area the Aura is not anymore as clear but has the extra redness in it that might not be as nice and cuts the connections more off to the Aura/nature/space to the direction like it does in the red core - that's significantly worse - and that is a spoiling factor - around Pitäjänmäki too at this time (27.8., that was the last good top [there were still two 18-19C highs about clear days later but that's it till next summer in 6 or late 5 just perhaps, and if that's too much bad weather, the horrible horrible winter included, there are other countries] summer day this year, major clear sky and 22C, that about as high as it can be without it being a heat day, and those days are nice but not what some hot countries will usually be during the summer though some might be so later the day during some part of their summers, and if one is okay enough, up to 27C or so is nice too some of the time, up to really nice, while hotter than that it's uncomfortable inside too for sure - though coolers can be used - and the sun is burning hot outside, it being somewhat much like a very cold winter day in comparison and normal activities are more or less out, and even going somewhere like to training in/out might not be nice at all during much of the summer though it gets cooler later in the evening though perhaps not inside) when walking around there, that's close to where I live, just that I have more nature around, and maybe the best what it could be where I am was during the about 15.8. to 27.8. or so transformation, making it for a short time stronger but still not as spoiled (28.8. was the first day it was 'bad' in this flat as the redness had taken 'over' rather than just having increased, that also being a factor that makes the clear pink stronger, till it gets too much and gets spoiled. As a result of the 28.8., I feel myself different as the area of awareness has been more limited by the increased, having taken over redness in the body, so I feel myself more like in this spot compared to having more 'lost myself' as not so much here, in this way [the experience of being Here would be about the opposite as it's in comparison to the space around, while this here is in comparison to being less around - as being aware - more here], though not that this is as intence and uncomfortable as the red core Aura and body is from the point of what's bad about it. And this is just a couple of kilometers from Leppävaara, so it's close that also means that a part of the possible liking of clear pink comes from the intensity of it when it's this close the mere pink [though not that I could say some other clear pink in Espoo to be any inferior and they are more or less further away], and the same goes for Vantaa compared to the whole north Helsinki, with some rare exception spots in Helsinki on the east side, or only the little spot of Suurmetsä [as the hat of Jakomäki] at that direction that has top level strong clear pink [that's top comfortable as it's clear and strong - though in the long run one figures to get used to anything but the comfort level as clear and heart is top high and it will remain so whether one will be so aware of it later or not and one shoudl see some dirfference any time one is somewhere else that's less good and then one adds how one feel and is also when coming back and having the better Aura - though there are also the auras of the exact flats because of other people and up to places themselves around and there, while being more aware of the outer can also mean lesser comforts as the auras, as when they get possibly a bit more covered by the redness - not that I can say I saw anything like that in the red core and it was very nice to get the summer Aura there - or one is just more 'centered' with the mere pink than with the clear pink where one is more space centered than elsewhere, though in the white areas one might be too space centered, being aware of like the vast emptiness as well as the lack of people as energy in the heart, and one won't call such place a home as the home is a comfortable space, and even teh red core is a home, but it takes something for the white area to be a home, like being comfortable with the situation and liking the lack of even the pink, as even the pink is a 'material' factor as a weight like moisture and temperature, but from the point of view of the heart having it's needs, especially when not in action, it won't feel comfortable until one is having one's own aura around as peace, and having silence and so being relatively comfortable though it's possible one is then looking for people, action, hobbies, places, countries, etc., having such 'needs' because the heart doesn't feel enough content, and when it does, it feels like at home, though there can be discomfort factors like those in the red core because of the red Aura and other factors and they can be too uncomfortable even if one feels otherwise better there than anywhere else, like feeling more like being a human there rather than a lost soul, hanging on/in the air, though that might be just what someone else likes as long as his heart is supported also so there will be no major problems about that. As far as I currently think, the people as the heart feels it from the Aura - and aura - plus clarity aspects that combine the strongest in strong clear pink areas, is the optimal solution, though there are some other areas too and the clear pink areas differ, but all of them have the common clarity with comfort and I don't at this time put them in some order] as far as I experienced it one time - I expect there to be some spots in east Helsinki too as it just can't go from mere red to white without clear pink somewhere and even along the way to Kontula from Itäkeskus it would seem to be there, and then down/right from Itäkeskus there figures to be some, but clear pink is basically not something there is in Helsinki but more or less during the summer Aura where it's comfortable and clearly there even in many parts of the red core), something to the direction of the nature of Leppävaara (in 2011) that I have liked as Aura and action and might keep liking though I have some other places too that I might at some point like more if I think the action factor in the pink areas - that are comfortable - is not as important and one can do shopping every now and then by going to another place for that).

I had the uncomfort factors in the red core but no semi-sickness though during spring/early summer I had some skin and nose reaction to the spring trees, flowers and so, and I haven't had that on the skin before, and not all sure about the nose either, and sometime around since 2005 I haven't got reactions from cats and dogs, that significant problem having dropped but it seems I might be getting some other problems now or I was more sensitive to it in the red core or I am getting old, too, plus having a different x-personality/x-loads and I have had bodily changes too though mostly because of the age, too, but as unloading and related and red/pink things too], and I had some pain points in the nerves of the legs that haven't happened for years, that's more or less an indication of something melting, relaxing, cooling and there being that state in-between where the body might be more sensitive too for things to be felt so. The body sure is reacting to me being at this pink flat at this place and the reasons possible are many. It's also possible one gets a burnout in the red core more easily than elsewhere as one might be more hot, wired, and not be as sensitive to it or/and even get the indications to it as clearly as one just might get somewhere else, though I see people have had the burns in other areas too, but just as a possible point to see there might be something in it and it's my feel as so and I think I have seen more unloaded people outside oif the red core than in the red core where I additionally saw some more [not sure as one sees more people there and I did saw such people in the white areas too and would have seen more if there would have been more people. I also think there are more burnouts these days than there were when I got mine in 1992-1995 in the red core and after that was living in a white area and I suspect that the computer are the reason and burn people more as well as give them less downtime and keeps the cooler L6 more loaded that I suspect prevents recovery of the right as it's an x-balance, though balanced recovery is also a possibility and it's mainly about the x-action, but still a point to be taken seriously and is valid] loaded and up to more or less burnout people, though getting the comforts of the red core has some potential to decrease one's actions as one feels more loaded - and more redness - there and potentially so won't feel as much need for the action or it could be used for less action, though I enjoy the pink, though if I would have got silence in the red core, it might have been pretty easy and comfortable to unload there in spite of the problems of the red core, while the other places are more isolated, that one will note though the pink level might keep the uncomfort about it away), though my still higher than average inner hot amount and less cooler from the left if I keep it so, has its part and if being okay, Mediterranean can offer extra fun and the winters are better. But the action London can offer to me in any life, is good for me (and I see that better now in this current pink place combined to Italy becoming secondary for me because of the lack of healing too though I am not sure would take it anymore over the UK in this life even if I would get healed enough as some personality change also has happened and I have been pushed into that pretty radically during my red core problem flat times and it's not the end even at this current time just that it's less and I have more comfort because of the pink). Italian as a language will remain with me though I just keep it more or less alive and if possible increase it some day, and all for fun and the absolute, it being some extra light to my sea life in London, or to my lake life in Helsinki/Espoo/Vantaa where it was sunny like from the middle of February (it seems it start to be a sunny time from those times and when all winter so far has been just dark, even getting two hours of sunshine is a major experience, and it keeps getting better so, plus the spring air and the close spring, it's pretty nice, just some very cold winter days still ahead though not far away is when it's 0C average high already - that's relatively warm in comparison to what has happened just before - though the average low is -7C but one doesn't need to suffer that much at those times) like all the way to the end of 8 so far, and the summer was much of the time like over 22C, that 22C and less would be more like a normal summer if it would be steady instead of jump up and down, that more jumping kind of a weather - though not that there necessarily are many other kinds of but where there is mainly sun during the summer - can make some 20C or even less place being more comfortable during the summer, more so if it tends to be a bit more steady and there being enough sun. There will then be some summer heat weeks, and during the last years in Finland there has been more like months so, while in the UK, not sure as the heats usually seem to come in Finland from the other direction. In the UK it's up to one when one wants the sun and the sea and takes a holiday e.g. in Spain (or some other place if it doesn't cost too much more, e.g. Italy figures to cost at least for one person, while the places just around might cost significantly less especially if one spends some more time there, but if one can pay, some 50% more costs is not necessarily the whole world, though it will add up if one takes a couple of such holidays somewhere during the year), though not free but such is not all lost even if living in e.g. London, and if it's more important to some and he is okay, he would be picking Mediterranean or some other sunnier place, though it's not that all places are even very hot during the summer like some Australia's average varies from city to city (looks like they have options to all who would go there because of the weather but not so from the action point of view necessarily as they are still smaller cities. As an immigrant one though will not get directly to most places in Australia but most likely to the tropical one(s) where one just might get killed by tiny sea things still at this time, and the water quality in many cities or Sydney is not necessarily good and the sea water at 25C summer places that they have at many places, plus the bigger ocean vs. Mediterranean perhaps, is not as warm in case it matters and Australia during the 2000+ has become more popular, and likely costs more too, it not being necessarily all that good as it was and other than the language and economics , I still don't see a major reason to pick such a sort of isolated place with limitations in getting there, possibly a difficult place to die in/at for me at least, but still, it has those goods that mainly the USA can offer at this time, though there are places like South America but it's not just a language question and they are not safe and economic places and one won't fit in as well) and it might rain at some of them relatively often. The summer in many places is like four months and the rest of the year is eight months though one gets a lot of and up to enough summer life with four months and there being other things one can enjoy during the cooler weathers (e.g. 2/3 of the year) when one can do other things and cool down. To me, from my current pink place point of looking, the UK is just another place and I could be there under an air, atmosphere like this pink one, with the extra actions (in case I get healed some more, and if not I am not even going) and some better future possibilities. As having been more down in action, the hotness level in me not having decreased as much as I would have hoped (for), is partly as I didn't got as much downtime as I would have wanted but also as I have been more hot (and more cold) during the more downtime compared to before 2010 times from most part, and comparing that to the situation on the first half of 2010, where I was even hotter, there is still some possibility as combined that I will still get a bit better and theoretically that is sure as the hotness figures to decrease, the problem just being that things decrease very slowly when it comes to the loads and the ability of the body to take recovery is not as good as one would like as even when one is at a level of a load where the body would be okay if one would be going up, it's not going to be okay when one is going down, though on the surface it somewhat is but the past is still there as memory and will act on body though it's not the current x-reality, though not that the x- is reality, it being just the current situation, the past being just under it and there I am still too loaded and what basically is the things is that distance and amount under needs to further decrease, but the problem is that it's doing it very slowly, its/my work being from most part about making the x-surface less loaded and stronger, the current x-reality, though one can't live that as a whole reality as the past will come more up again if being more in the current x-reality with actions that it otherwise could handle better and longer, and so one is stuck in living the x-reality with limitations, and the process of decrease taking tens of years, in case I don't have any hope in this life but to stay in Finland and live the x-reality there, making sure more hot goes out and loads keep decreasing and not to go too deep with actions but occasionally, but stay on the surface like being unable to do any mental or even many or all physical actions to full amount but needing to be light as much as possible, about all the time preferably, and deep often, to go deeper as much as possible - to make better sure the hotness goes out - though not too much to be too pale. From many points of view London is just fine for me even in the next lives, and I am already seeing the air, atmosphere, the winter weather as connecting the year rather than breaking it (in (south) Finland it was the 15.12. to 15.2. as what might be the bad one, one having enough to go deep in December after a reasonable summer half, and then one gets to enjoy some sun in February - and in between tries to get more sunlight and a sunnier, or up to any as doings under a better C [even some UK but it could be 0C, -5C, -10C there then even during the day as it's just 10C warmer there during winter, though the average is up to 8C so one might risk it but still, picking the colder times of the year has a major potential of it being colder then as it's -4C in Helsinki but it's often, even generally much colder during some of those times] , holiday too might be nice - and in case the flat is not cold and one doesn't spend much time out, it looks just fine, though if one is inside the walls without significant windows during the winter half (plus suffers some extra cold winter weeks and some time during the mornings), then it doesn't look all that good as one doesn't get that much of it while in the UK and so one would have more C. But all just theoretical as who would be living in Finland if he wouldn't have to and being an average case to who this weather is not as good as one would like it to be. People just simply move away or they won't care, and in my case I might not get healed enough and I might get things pretty comfortable here and then having mostly the 15.12. to 15.2. as bad, though not that it's good just around but there is or can be more light and sunlight or it won't be all cold. With my new pink vision, I see that I would enjoy some more than I would have expected before some doings in London, that I get as an extra over what I would get in Italy, and I don't need to work with my Italian, and the sea world of the UK as itself has got some other factor in it now as it's correlating with this cool pink here, and so if the depressing factors of the UK further decrease, as I predict that they might, then I would get more or less rid of that problem too; and have just the cool continue weather with the action of London and without extra problems.

White areas can make one more sensitive and it can show in people dealings and attitudes too, while one might get more timid in the red core too though one gets more used to people there compared to white areas, as well as one is not as much in need or so to deal with people when one has enough redness, and even pushing away as the redness is basically bothering as being too much already. The clear pink areas are maybe the best for making one bother less about a variety of people factors as one feels more protected or so, that has many type of influences as so, like being less sensitive to people, in some sense, that could be compared to being under some medication or alcohol or whatever, or like having come on the airport from somewhere and not feeling like one all entered, and possibly feeling less the sensitivity or need of other people. The Brahma Awareness gives one more support and distance to such things too, but it's connected to the clear pink too, and that/those things are also meaning things, one feeling meaning when one is supported in the heart, like it being a home or so, the heart feeling comfortable. The Situational meaning might be an additional bother to the NTs, though not sure how much at ease they would be if their hearts would be feeling (people) comfortable, at home, as that comes at the same time with the Brahma Awareness, but there is a note that one understands then that the meaning of life is that we are Here, in this situation and there is nowhere to go, we being Here and that's all there is to it, and not that there is no meaning then but that is the meaning; it being tricky. Clear pink, mere pink, red core, white area, they all make one see more or less differently, and feel differently and different needs, understand some things, see better some things, see worse some other things, change personality, the I-feel, change views about life and goals something to the directions changing personality and x-personality will change one's understanding, priorities, views, opinions, likings, goals, doings. So, much depend of much other things than just "our" "own" "mind," so much so that B/buddhas and other freaks can more or less think that there is nothing but change; no I, no ego, no personality, no life and death. But still, there are all those things though they are not without connections to all kinds of things that change them more or less, but so does light and darkness and one still is something solid, not just a phenomenon of change, though that too we are and there isn't some specific personality, just some specific related I as the Xmind as related to one's abilities and situation, and those produce what is most optimal for us to be, though we are additionally addicts to the past and might not be putting things to best priorities in our lives, as well as miss many things, but those are our short_comings. It might be that seeker should be thinking of not being the mind, I, ego, though I think they should, but when one has got the "not" view also, it's best to start thinking that I am the mind, the feeling, the I, the ego, simply this person just as like anyone would have understood in the first place. Taking a look into it as a "second" person is necessary, but in ordinary life if even elsewhere, I don't support any witness views but just be what I am, that one just feels as less weighted as one gets more and more the spiritual things, but that doesn't mean that one is not the I, the ego, the persona, personality, the mind and feelings, the thinker and the feeler or so, one being one and all of those, that being what we are, the only difference being that one can be more aware of the inside and outside things, but it's not to produce some splits but to be an additional aspect, and element or elements of being E/enlightened, like having the lights more on rather than more off, and that's all the difference there is, there not being any "Enlightened" ones but just humans, and there not being any master, just a human with lights more on or off and who might know a thing or two. A man is a man, not a God nor a Dog but simply a man. Though when an U/un-Enlightened man says so, he is not right, but it doesn't mean that an Enlightened man is nothing but a man. A man is a man no matter what are his talents, achievements, abilities, enlightenments - that does not differ from any other ability, achievement, talent, but being just something extra just like anything else at any other area, that also means that he has something and is something and has achieved something and has some abilities because of it, but it makes no difference about him being just as ordinary man as any other man; having no higher ability, no more talent, no more achievement than some other man who has something else in/at some other area, or just is born so, that basically all are even so, as itself or/and as connected to outer personality and inner personality talents, that are also more or less potential and more or less limited, depending of the person (outer/inner).

I just had an experience where I didn't feel the red core as red core and that has never happened before, not when I was living there and not when I was living in the white area and visiting the red core, and not when I had lived less than one month in the pink area and visiting the red core, but after one month of living in the red core (that was about clear white first though as summer aura first and then turned to more ordinary pink, though still clearly far away of red core and close the clear pink - I also did some imagination and imagined I was in a red core flat while I was feeling the pink reality in my current flat, and that makes the difference as comparison further clear) I visited the red core and didn't at any time start(ed) to feel it was (the usual) red core anywhere, and I came back later that night again and spent four hours there - with other people I know - and still I didn't feel the red core as the red core but the pink was more with me. One reason might be that I had been living long enough in the pink area (one month) though it didn't happen by living in the white area, but pink enough might make a difference. But I had also been sleeping only four or five hours, that might make one less sensitive, but I will find out that later. Still, an interesting experience, being more immune to the red core, something like having been at some other place and then coming back, and one feels different than usually as one('s) mind so to say hasn't entered or so yet, but this experience has never been there before as much as it was this day. That's pretty significant if it stays so as one could more easily visit the red core, have hobbies there (that one might like to have at the pink areas) and even work there, though not that even working or especially so, is necessarily bad at the red core, one still spending more or less and up to enough time at the pink area. Being more immune to some area (and up to any) is a possibility in one way or the other (e.g. the pink in one's x-mind and body - not the same thing as being more or less immune but something to that direction) and sooner or later as it doesn't look like impossible, and so far living in the pink area looks like the best thing to do there, and I also think my understanding might have improved, as my clarity might have improved, over both the red and the white, though not that any one of those necessarily give the full picture, but I think the pink is still the one that might give the best view to the life, one possibly making the better pinks in case one understands things better here, though all pinks differ and the summer aura clear pink type had its problems too though I was still under the aura before me in this flat, but still having one's I-feel as more spread out can make it more difficult to have a more compact view of oneself and produce a sort of up to a pain possibly if feeling like lost though it was a summer Aura then and the aura of the flat wasn't like mine yet, though generally clear pink is better than mere pink (as with mere pink one is not more expanded and all is not more clear, including the clothes and things, that is an extra comfort), but it's part of the views to see (being more "centered" instead, with mere pink, but not having the heavier redness problems, so if being "centered" has something good in it - might be major inferior to clear pink - and the cost is not too high, then it can have its good things, even seriously so, though I know the clear white, the full comfort, the expansion, those being like having a day with more light compared to having like a warm day still but it's not that much light, maybe even an evening, and then if that evening or so is better, then it has its good things, e.g. some prefer the UK weather over the Mediterranean weather, and some prefer there to be less light even, being more "centered" as so rather than being blinded by the sunny or so summer day, and that 'being blinded by it' is like being blinded by the clear pink, that might look like a great thing but that's not all to it) when looking the Aura phenomenon from white to red (plus other A/aura factors).

I again semi-picked an impossible to not fitting options of Italy and Malta; I am next to sure they won't happen but I pick them anyway and so will stay in Finland with that attitude. But whatever I decide these days (the last two years) doesn't hold as realities could change (as they already often have) plus I am changing up to daily. Originally, the decision became Italy of the UK in late 2009, and it was because of people mainly, but that problem has been solved and then it became a reality question as things kept changing in the world, and finally it because I question of my lack of recovery staying what looks permanent for up to the rest of my life, though some hot summers and economics etc. points make some other options outside of the UK questionable, but at this time I don't see a big enough reason to go in the UK, and if I get that possibility, I am half way to be ready to picking any other possibility. I do have a future and I know that under it I wouldn't be picking the UK, but I also have my reality and other realities that make it best to pick the UK (if picking something), and going against realities is tough, but then one is going against the reality of one's own future, though it could wait till the realities are ready for it, but I am not sure about that as one's being is then not what it's like supposed to be from this moment forward, and picking something else for the next 40 years plus the possible continue to it in the next life till the move, is not that nice either; 40 years being a long time to wait, more so when one is not what and where one should be, in case one would be in the right place right now, nowhere to go and nothing to change, things being just the way they from the being point of view should be right now, the rest being personal and other realities, economics. But, on the other hand, I don't need to be that person, and it's not necessarily written it's my future, but just one possibility, and even if it is, I could keep myself more in/on the ice till the realities are ready for it, and that's what is the smart thing to do, like rest till one is recovered (in about 40 years perhaps) and then live. So, I can't solve this in a full way but pick the future option every now and then and stay in Finland, but staying in Finland does not fill the future option but the UK is better for it, and instant improvement, and no extra difficulties but just go, but but. There is a solution to this, and I just need to wait and see, so no problem really, having got the differences of the places clearer and then just need to see if I get ready to take up to my future in this life or will pick to go in the UK or stay in Finland in case I get the Flatting things here good, though some realities can change in this country or in another country and will make the decision for me. I don't need to stay in Finland over the UK for my future as it's as good or even better in the UK, even when its not my future, while I don't like picking all the difficulties of Mediterranean, something that I can easily handle if I am okay but maybe better not when I am not, and so the future needs to wait, but it's a subtle difference to get ready (or needing) to go in the UK but not in Mediterranean, and that's why the wait and see is the thing to do. But I think the Mediterranean is my future, not just an alternate future, it having its being, but it's not fitting in my reality, just the outer reality it does fit in well enough, and that's one major change during the last two years in the world, but at the same time my rcovery has shown a bigger failure than I expected it to show and I don't know where I fit in as an invalid, and it's not just a subtle difference but the options differ in huge ways, in enormous ways, just that they are in balance because of my situation, and that makes it subtle, and very difficult.