8/2011. Religion. The meaning finally connects to death, where one gives his life (dies) back to/in the hands of Logos in death; such is the understanding about Logos, Creator, Life, and one sees it's best to be done so; it originally being the One that created us, and in life we live with the Logos, more or less according to it, and that is the ultimate meaning, and so it's easy to give up one's life when the time is up. That life is not so much even one's, though we have our own life in it too but it shouldn't be a problem. That's birth, life and death; it's a simple but a better understanding of Life. There are things I have prepared to achieve in this life and I know the factors of why there figures to be a rebirth and so have prepared for that too, though Life might help there some after death but it's not a sure things and so I help it as much as I see best before I die. There is no God but there is a Logos that is God. Sort of a scientific version of religious life, on this point, that though can't be in the head only, like science is. The Western religious problem is exactly there, them being in the head only, so to say; I am not saying there is not to be a head in religion, it being the other problem when there isn't, though it's a problem even then, if it's just head. Without the spiritual life of the East (that's not just something one does somewhere), without the E/enlightenments and the Eastern philosophy/understanding. That's why I don't fit into science (though I would read some of it, e.g. some psychology), nor in philosophy from the West (though taking a look into it won't hurt if one does it only a little; there is ethics, stuff about Logos and something else, and with good understanding it's not so a problem to understand them; one gets just mainly the words/ideas and understands them even more or less of them alone, though others won't but that can't be helped as so poor is/has been the level of understanding though things would be easy to define and actually there is e.g. no God that can't be defined, it just needing people that know and understand the world; life being what it contains). I will have to pick religion as most of the important things (for/to me) are in Religion (one needs to do some picking there too). Though I am just a part time S-NT.

The 1st of 8th, the city core is still a pink core but during the last week it has in my opinion got a bit worse, and people have been coming back too and there has been more traffic, but they are not all here yet and it might take some time for the Aura to change completely, and last year I was here from the beginning of this month and then suffered from the red core when it got worse, together with the neighbour noise and high moisture,

That was even lower than the mostly 60%+ during the summer up to this point, or there were some 50-60%, but this was like the first day I noted where it went under 50% (maybe temporarily), and these are not red core percentages where it figures to feel worse inside in my case. When the moisture is less, one feels - the air - like lighter as the moisture is like heaviness, and less of that and the comfort level increases, while more things like moisture and redness, heat, noise and it all adds up, even the noise in my case being up to top uncomfortable, like redness with moisture, heat and deeper unload - hotter and more sort of sensitive; the action energies make a cut on outer uncomfort factors, acting like right side power making the left side problems less and up to invisible, and the other way around that one can be at all those for more, though the redness and the moisture combined was a major factor though this year I have tolerated more, but I haven't been so deep at/in unload - and I did come from about a non-redness area, and there were some like 30C days compared to this year's some 27C more like it and this time it didn't hit me when at some months deep long time unload and having just come from close to no redness area and to under top eighbour/flat disturbance from where there was generally silence for 15 years and no noise problems ever in my life before that either, and being sensitive and clear. Som the 28C+ near the sea is not necessarily too much a problem and I tolerate 30C away from the sea or/and no redness problem being there - not sure what if anything the sea factor produces but I didn't experience wet red clothes in Kontula, that are uncomfortable to sleep with, especially under them. The redness is uncomfort, unclear, unclean, hot spots (whether coming from the neighbour or/and one's own head also, the non-redness has the potential of make such things like noise, heat, feel less painful, one not getting to the pain level as early - that in cases could be bad though I have got burned under the sun on/in the red core), while the no-red is comfort, clarity, more purity, more connection, lighter, more awareness - at about clear pink as well as at white, and variety of amounts at other pinks.

and so I was in a hurry to leave, though I could still have waited for some better flat as people are moving mainly/only during their summer holidays it seems, but I wasn't sure I would get anything better if anything during this summer, so I took the one that looked good enough, though I didn't take a look at it - and I was dead tired then - but just took the location and talked on the phone, though one should always take a look first, but in my case it just didn't look like necessary. I took a look at it first time today, a -60 building that was as I supposed it to be as the worst case scenario, worse being only the no-protection war time buildings, and even the -70 buildings might be better where there is like a chicken shit wall between the room and the bathroom (also the -60 ones more or less have those and more or less walls, floors, roofs/ceilings are not heavy or so) and all noises from the neighbours at least up and down will go up and down inside that wall, just that in my case in Kontula I had silent neighbours there (only the last year was less so - some immigrant moved there [some music, lots of talking on the window; but at least I didn't need to listen it through the floor like in my second red core war time flat in 2010 where I was less than one month - plus it was 19-20C there] - but not too much, and some years before someone was keeping the music way too loud more or less of the weekend days and he was living far away, and all in all that problem wasn't too big either though should never have lasted as long as it did though it might still be happening), though if there would be loud talking or music etc. from down or up, the floors (n)either couldn't handle it, and they don't seem to handle it in many -50 flats either (my red core one they could have fixed. The -60, -70 flats can be harder to fix, though in theory possibly could some of those -70 ones) though the walls imitate something like the early -30 and before flats tend to have as heavier walls. I have four neighbours this time instead of one or two and how silent it will be depends of/on the neighbours plus the more thin building produces extra sounds and noises, e.g. like someone is hitting his head on the wall or floor and that can last from hours to 24/7 sort of straight (it seems it's coming from my weaker wall neighbour - the cost of a weaker wall - and I suspect there is a kitchen at that spot and every time she - woman, possibly a man, possibly another woman, girl and a dog it seems at this time [I hear it so but I see that those live one floor above me somewhere and are also in close communications with each other and are happy like that, all things the same as I hear them, though it turned out there is also an older woman with a dog living on the other side of my wall, the weaker wall, who is the one saying to her dog to be silent, but not sure about the laughter though there might have been a copy on that place too. Above is some more dangerous if some type of wooden floors perhaps as some if not most walk more heavily than I do, e.g. on staircases many of them make more noise than I in cases can make even when I try] - does something with any kitchen things, there will be more or less a noise, though I don't necessarily hear all of them nor all the talking and laughter [or that I might hear up to every time] without putting my ear on the wall [I might words too], so something good as it could be worse, but still, all those bangings especially as there are so many doors etc. on the kitcken, and other things being done, and she sure seems to use them a lot, and the more - plus other noises - the longer I have been here during my first week. But I haven't isolated the exact causes for sure yet, just my fourth or so guess and there are more causes and coming from an another spot - bathroom and other rooms and so it's overall too with all the bangings that it's hard to get it eliminated just possibly decreased - possibly from other neighbours too - and I don't trust the other wall - and the floor and the ceiling - to be all that good either but those bangings are just so many and often that I wonder how they manage to make them all though with all the people they have, it might be possible. The noises come from all people around and even further and it's not easy to isolate them as some noise coming from another flat can more or less sound like coming from just about anywhere and one thinking some sounds come from some flat but they don't. My neighbours seem to start their going to sleep after midnight and there has been silence from most by 0:45 am so far - the newspaper people start their banging at about 2 am till like 4 am, on weekends they might start at 1 am but it's a minor problem in comparison. Someone is smoking somewhere,

Doesn't seem to be the one living above me considering that his window is currently open but no smoke (figures to be the one living under me and he figures to have the window always open - I too like the window to be open as there is a better contact to the outer world and the air is moving - and the smoke might move especially up and be sucked inside my flat and I don't have about any other window I can open - a flat with more possibilities there might help with this problem though the last one had three and far away of each other and it didn't help much really though there was a smoking place near but still not with the window furthest away though people were still walking near it and additionally I think the smoke was also coming through inside channels at the -50 flat as I sometimes smelled it with windows closed. But I have a further worse situation with this new place when it comes to the smoke - it's legal for him to smoke inside as it's illegal only for/to people that moved in like 2010, one year ago or later). Just that he is still banging on Tuesday night and speaking somewhat. I figure to get his noise type and amount isolated though he put the main lights off at about 2 am and was silent till some 3 am when he again was producing noise and the amount of light varied, and the lights were not off at 4 am, just the noise level has been small. It seems, no sure things in this current flat like me sleeping when they are up and me being up when they are sleeping, that's more or less a possible solution when having flat noise problems.

The close neighbours at this -60 house can be not only four but more as the weak walls can connect still more. My main problem just might be the one above - making it basically the same problem as with the previous flat - and then others add to that, but time shows, though the noise will remain and I will leave. Not that there are major hopes of silence for me in the new place even if it's said to be silent - it seems one needs to ask that deeply and push it; I suppose one needs to go there to ask as one just might get some tells if he/she is possibly hiding something. My adoption parents moved during their last ten years often as did my adoption sister at one time and they all were for other reasons, but this is my third problem place straight - it also has some strange things in it that e.g. the first one should not have happened as it was unlikely to have happened - and for that long - as so many things needed to go wrong for it to happen.

There has been many strange things I have faced since I started to put major time to/in recovery and I had none of those for over ten years before that (and none before that either). It seems I need to rest not without the brain though my original move was to live without it but that doesn't look like possible to me. That's why I have decided to stay in/at around S-INTP, that helps me when dealing with most problems. It's not my final aim (though not that it necessarily will change but it's not the type of life and personality of my many options that I will be living when I get unloaded enough) to stay at but I don't have an option (in this life).

In the red core flat the someone smoking was also happening, while never in Kontula, where there also were no major noise problems and over ten years none really, while this new place looks like a copy-paste light version of the previous one.

I feel myself rather different here, the place having its input in how I feel, and at this place I am at this time feeling something like I am losing personality, while in the red core I was feeling I was filled with some more; heavier, lighter, and so I am becoming, being, adjusting to the place and people here, feeling strange, different and I haven't been like that before, though the Summer Aura is still here, and the flat's A/aura. But I have myself in a better head-shape or something like about anywhere else even during this same time, same week, same day; here I am like not myself and I feel like strange, not rooted, feeling more thin in the head and strange, not myself.

As an extra, I got knee problems - I stopped the walking twice as it felt rather serious - the first time in my life of that kind of; I couldn't understand those physical happenings in my knees - first the right knee and maybe 10 minutes later the left one just the same like some parts there having grown and so causing problems - this time as they should not have been there as there was no cause of any kind of. First time I had something it was - like 20 years ago also during one evening and was maybe psychological caused though was after training and the weather was maybe a part cause. But when I moved in the red core I got knee problems of similar seriousness during at least the latter half of 2010, a year ago, and it happened many times and seems to have a psychological cause though it can be added to the fact that I had been walking some more lately. I had to slow my walking in 2010 also. This time the cause might be a connection of many things, of walking plus the psychological factors of that day as I gave away the keys of my 15+1 year red core place, though I don't figure it as the casue but it can add some. This time the major cause though maybe not alone might have been that I was getting a hair cut and there was a man having maybe leg problems - he had trouble moving - doing the cutting (they are close, move from side to side like around, from down to up and back and make moves with the head that is being cut) and ten minutes later when walking out I was having knee problems - additionally my hair got a bit more gray as a whole and it seems it's permanent as it made a comeback only one day but other than that it's been a bit more gray and that's now how it figures to be. The next day I had just some minor version of knee problems. The start to my knee story is in the early middle age of around 35 or so when I - and one other person who also saw some things happen to the finger functions at that age and they happened to me too (one gets some gray hairs too around those times, and so it's when the body gets old). But one can give the body more work, though maybe not too much of it as the body is old, and then the problems decrease or the body gets stronger or whatever, like works more to maintain. I don't see the hair cut alone would have caused it (I am simply having trouble with the knees as they are old and then some additional psychological factor can add a bit to it and I feel some pains or so) and I don't think I am getting such physical problems from other people but only through the mind and emotions can I get reactions in the body (it's the general main thing like the A/auras and vibrations plus some more things), not directly, so it's rather suspect though there might be some other cases too I have felt and it seems all people can get problems as well as healings or so from other people who have good or bad things somewhere and as I figure to be rather aware, the connections seem to be there for it to happen more easily, though not that it necessarily needs awareness for other than taking a note of what has happened.

I can feel and smell the materials of this place - perhaps the relatively new sort of wooden type of a floor [the plastic one smells but I had no significant problems in Kontula with it other than one could hope it wouldn't be there but it was no significant problem while this new flat might be on this point too, and having some other type of a floor than plastic possibly more risks it being noisy (the plastic might look like to be on top of the wood and so be just a small difference and so one needs to test the plastic too) (hollow floors as well as hollow walls when one tests them with the fingers by knocking them, the noise levels figure higher than one would like, or perhaps some 2000+ house might make an exception but it's still risky. The rocky walls are not felt to be as close as the wooden walls, or that's one of the feels, there being that type of a difference), and it's not only about the noise one might make with it but all neighbours around too can make it noisy] but could be anything and it might become a problem [I might need to try some other smells to cover it a bit, though it might just add the problem and I might have to start to use something in my nose to protect against the smell(s) though it doesn't necessarily bother most days and one can try to keep the attention away from it/them though the effect more or less will still remain one just not being as aware of them though with being more aware of something also just might make everything more sensitive to it, them/anything/whatever. Nose and ear protection - and improve them if possible, possibly staying up the nights (but try to get all day_light possible), avoiding too red and too white places, keeping the possible e.g. like shower sounding noisy warming systems off when possible, aiming for better flats, recovering, not using much light inside - hoping for better windows, cold flats - the highest floor just might be nice but just possibly colder [it's supposed to be kept at e.g. 21C so how could it be colder there but it still might be]; hot and cold flats in Mediterranean, as well as likely more noisy - and possibly more often close built - on average or at least one needs to aim for the newer flats and try extra heating and cooling though not with their salaries necessarily in case one even gets a (reasonable) job. Hitting the walls, all kinds of doors, the floor (to test by more or/and less heavy walking etc. if the one under hears it or not though one might need to continue it up to (a) long time), using tv, noisy machine cleaners, music, speaking, laughing to make sure the neighbours will be aware of such noises, though just an idea but in case they are completely unaware of such(,) they might need to be made aware of them(,) one way or the other(,) and just telling someone just might increase the noises and as there is no law protection (at least not without the proofs), it's somewhat a risk to take as well as tracking the sources of the noises can be difficult and there are these ways to make some people more aware of at least some of the noises] [additionally they are more or less noisy and if I will need to take a -70 or -80 (or clearly before a war time flat perhaps, though even somewhat before they just might not be good enough anymore) flat next time I better see it has no wooden floors or so until I test them being good enough, plus get a positive enough comment about the flat from the one living there before me, though I will try to get a -90+ flat though not that it necessarily will be silent - still -90 as well as they don't seem to avoid mistakes even these days (though what they put on the floors etc. might not be made for the before 2000 flats though they still put them there too as what would they know as the flats in Finland - and e.g. in the UK I think - can up to never be proven to be lacking when it's about the noise as well as there might not even be standards - it's interesting that the business laws have been loose since Gita and before and it has been considered always acceptable as their making business is at more or less a higher priority than what is right and it's so considered acceptable more or less even by the laws, and of course similar standards exist in most people, though not that the world can be played perfect but the laws are clearly too loose when it comes to business, and that's a phenomenon one has seen all one's life on like every area of business) but the possibility is better, but it might be hard to get as well as they often cost up to too much but I don't have much options if that's what I have to do], while the dog keeping noise hasn't been a problem though it might continue until said to stop) and as combined or together with other flat problems can produce that much noise and problems that one needs to move - this is the situation as it looks like in my new flat - after listening the head banging during five straight hours I started to use ear protection. So, I suppose I should be moving in about a year, just not likely to pick the best area as I might not have time to track them while the flats there are generally of poor quality or cost too much or/and hard to get. Though this is better than the last two flats before this one and in theory there might not be any better place to move at. I heard a fire alarm low battery alarm clearly from the first floor (under me) and that flat wasn't even under me and I had all doors closed; I 'tested' the walls and I saw what I expected, not in any way really hard walls (just one was more so, the other neighbour's wall didn't sound heavy - and all tv center stuffs are to be put there - and the wall between the flat and the bathroom isn't heavy so one can hear running water and one is not even in the bathroom with these houses - and then the warming/battery system in the bathroom might be better to be kept off as it sounds like someone is in the shower and one can hear it not only in the bathroom, and also the 'living' room's warming/battery can make sounds something to that direction. At least one can turn them off during the warm summer and its not even too cold during a good summer, but less good during other times, with increased noise - also the neighbours are more not out - from the battery systems and additional dis/uncomfort if it's too cold), just not as bad as the war time walls. In my this new flat I am not going to keep that much lights much of the time this time either (the third floor seems to be the only safe one though there are reasonable first floor flats too and any windows could be bad at any floor, especially in the city center and with buildings built like an U-shape) but my windows are not that bad as they have the distance to where people move and they are among other windows of the building and they are 2+ big windows on my bigger wall side, covering like the whole wall (with about south side windows, that I like - more light and additional shine both nice to me [maybe not in (the hottest) Mediterranean but the flats can get hot even when the windows are to the east and during hot days one might cover most of the windows though that is not necessary with other windows and the walls can get hotter inside too on the sunny side, so maybe not a good idea in Mediterranean to have south side windows with direct sun] - and the trees prevent the sun enough not to be blinding, no direct sun but in/on the evening and earlier day but it comes from the sides and seems nice), and I can more or less cover one of them and then I have half of the flat as private area, though not that there are problems when its light outside even keeping all windows 'open,' it feeling better to me than the reasonable drop in privacy that one doesn't feel too uncomfortable about. Only time shows (soon) how much noise there will be and that will then decide if I am ready to leave after one or 2-3 years, and I could even try to rent a new flat from Leppävaara/Espoo as it costs about the same, and in such a case I might take any windows (I would still have the clear pink inside and noise protection, though I like windows but few years is not too bad under such a situation) and pay the high rent as I aim to be only some years more in Finland as I am aiming to move in Italy or so before I am 50, and so it seems I might not be getting my final flat in Finland, just maybe something better, like a new flat on a clear pink area from a selected place, both giving some more, and if the current one is heavier on pink than I like, I might be moving away sooner than after two or three years, if I get a flat from specific area(s).

I also visited Tapiola/Espoo during the first of 8th and I saw that the pink level was thin, and I wouldn't even bet all the money that it was pink, but it still had the same quality just that if was thin; even the Tapiola shopping center was thin, and no problems on the eyes (usually there is some in shopping centers like in Itäkeskus, Tapiola, Myyrmäki/Vantaa and is connected to the increased redness and increased stress, work maybe and to one's relative weakness or so and it's common in single shops too - less likely in clear pink places as it has some counter power as it 'protects' like when being in Vishnu and Brahma - but as combined should be of less power), thin, thin, but then I walked to Leppävaara/Espoo from there and half way it became thicker, and soon I didn't even like it as it felt like traffic gases and not all comfortable as had some red quality though it was on the area of more comfortable pink, and that part was some business buildings area, and then still closed of Leppävaara and in Leppävaara shopping center (Sello, that's huge, a semi-city for sure and there are other areas around it having shops too. Huge Prisma, a good place to also get options with food products and the lowest costs that the bigger/biggest shops offer, the smaller one's having limited options and some extra costs can be expected). Leppävaara did have the "we are on holiday" empty quality in it, but that's just during the summer Aura, like the Tapiola and more or less the whole Espoo case figures to have and I could say has. And one needs to pick the place according to the non Summer Aura, and then take a holiday or something if during the Summer Aura, as an option. Though these clear pink stuffs are mainly for the people that have the Brahma Awareness but it's not necessarily all, but for us, we will have a heavier need for the right Aura, and will center our lives there, with whatever around it we want, e.g. a place with a big shopping center, or a place near the beach, or a specific pink quality place like in some spots in Helsinki or in Vantaa where the clear pink is heavier but positively though sedatively so, though one's system might adjust to it more or less in a year or whatever. The airplane noise, that one might need to test by sitting somewhere even for hours, as it's not clear if it isn't disturbing as a constant noise, and some small plane going there like a fly, keeping its type of a noise, but a big plane keeping a more constant noise, and more or less far, though up to tons of them flying per day (but compared to traffic noise). The level of thicker clear pink moved to the edge of Helsinki from Espoo, though it's mixed with other qualities, and one can experience major clear pink (with mixed quality) even on the further parts of the red core areas like Töölö (where I have now lived 15+1 year) and the south end where one sees the big sea far away, there too it's clear and additionally the sea looks blissful, it being something worth to see for comparison though one could take a note of it anywhere else also but when it happens in the same place, it makes it further clear. My just above Tali/Helsinki place in the west Helsinki completes my living in Helsinki well enough, additionally to knowing the rest as visits, and I have no reason to pick anything from Helsinki ever again, but will decide between Espoo and Vantaa with my next flat, getting a major living in a major clear pink area, if nothing else (as the quality of the flat), while this flat that I have now has some other pink experience (like clear pink at this summer Aura time, though it might not be the same thing as the Aura during the other times as it tends to have some quality of the old one still as an addition, though I am just sort of guessing, it not being so simple to put pinks in a category as other factors too need to be counted in that also are in the Aura, e.g. a mixture of two - e.g. red and white - might make the same thing as e.g. pink, but not being the same as pink itself). These flat things make me sort of tired and one needs to wait some tens of years before the now newer (likely having better protection) flats will be the average, and in some other country it might take longer but in my next life thing look like a possible good enough though those same Italian flats might still be there, while at this time they don't figure to be that much worse than the flats in Finland (to me) at this time and so if they are colder during the winter and having lower protection/more noisy neighbours, the difference is smaller. Better ear protection systems would also be nice (noise disturbance is up to top uncomfortable), as well as systems to listen music, tv without up to any noise but with quality and ease, while hearing protection systems could also contain selectivity and the possibility to add tv, music and communications to it (music teddy bears etc. have something but figure to have horrible sound quality and weak to no protection), and should not tire the ears but be comfortable and able to use them all the time with ease and comfort. Also, red Aura cleaning systems would be nice, with an additional ability to produce any type of an Aura that has less redness in it all the way down to dead white, but especially the ability to produce all kinds of pink Auras inside one's room or head/body.

It seems, I might have made some tiny unloading progress during the last 18 months but it's not showing enough results for me to be optimistic of going anywhere but stay in Finland. Already getting into the attitude of what life would then be. It's best for me to go for more recovery, it being what I should be doing the next up to 40 years. It's best for me to finish the recovery first to enough amount. Combined to the flat problems and to the great weather in Finland, major bad news. This will have a major impact on my mind, emotions, personality, and hard to digest and handle, 40 years more being a long time under a bad situation, and it might be so tough that I better go to another country; it will be tough and hard but at least I will have it more or less my way. But I still have some years to go to get some more recovery and then decide, seeing the final result and having weighted the hard lives and decided what will be less hard. Italy is beyond my reach now; the language learning, the possible flat problems, economics, work problems, it just being too much for me to handle. I can't risk some Malta either; I am not in position to do so. The UK then? At least I get rid of the double horrible winter like that, and won't have any expected problems of Italy case. I am not going in the UK for the doings, there being nothing I can do there but work and rest. Even the flats alone in Italy have the higher risk than in the UK of producing noise, cold, heat, moisture problems; really the last things I should risk at this time of housing developments, the second being recovery, then the work factors and then the economics levels and then the limitations of doings. The UK as it has some future factors in it better than Finland, and as it has the possibility to better flats, and it doesn't have a horrible horrible winter. I could think that I pick the UK for the flats and the non-horrible-horrible winter, thinking those two things as the major factors and I do need to get rid of especially the horrible flats but also the horrible horrible winter. My stay in Finland seems to have been made too difficult and up to impossible and so, the UK, a shadow life there; even during the work there before nationality, I have a possibility for more recovery, while in Italy it would be work and language study.

I didn't got the right knowledge of the noise level of the current flat it seems, though I haven't seen the long run yet but it will remain one major aspect; and so, one year and the next flat will be there and I will at least get to a clear pink area even if the flat will be just a -70 one (in case I get positive input from the previous one living there), though not that this current flat at the moment is bad as pink either (but it's still more or less summer Aura), but when the flats give problems, one just needs to keep trying and trying till one gets a good enough flat, that being called sort of life, while getting a relatively new or a cheaper flat will be positives, as well as still improved pink level. With a good/silent flat on a good area, I better stay in Finland if I don't get significantly any more recovered, as my situation is too bad then to go even in the UK, but if the flats keep being bad, I will have to go in spite of not being recovered enough to go as the situation in Finland is then simply worse; then picking the less bad option of/from two bad options.

I don't like the state of mind and awareness that happens to me when I decide to go in the UK, or even combined to major stay in Finland, so I decided to aim in Italy anyway, possible or not but I am aiming, and the state of my mind and awareness is then more or less instantly much better, like it should be. I don't fully understand those, but they are important even in itself up to no matter what the weather etc. would be there. If I don't go/get in Italy, I might decide to try Malta (a small island of about Italy somewhat in middle of Mediterranean) and then I will see (soon after the decision) what my state of mind and awareness will be, that more or less being the place (I already see something and it doesn't look like Italy nor the UK). But as it is, it's Italy, and I have made some other decisions in my life also based on the state of the mind, though in every case I have looked the facts also and they are or have been generally supporting the decision, though not about Italy as I am not ready for it and it's hot there during the summer half and maybe cold (and possibly noisy) flat during the winter half, and then all the troubles and lacks and with thought alone I would not be picking Italy as the UK, especially London, is better and the best for my situation, but the unconscious or so mind does not agree and I simply see it in my state of being and though Italy has some worries and problems for me and I get more hot (now) as it's hotter there (plus all the problems and extra troubles) but I can not pick against what feels to be that much better, and it's not just a feel but the state of the whole mind and awareness, personality; my life. After Italy fails and I am more or less doomed, I will see what happens to me, but all the way there I will be okay, and if I keep Italy on the list even when it has failed, maybe I won't get doomed even after, if that's possible. I additionally figure to have more years to aim with that attitude. Maybe there is a way of getting out of this problem without going in Italy, but I am not going to even try it at this point as I get that much by aiming in Italy, possible or not. One thing not clear is that if Italy and Italian is my place; they were when I was and came from the ESFP persona, but things have changed and the distance has increased during the last year, mostly from dropping it at some point and then not being fully connected to it anymore as a result of the less and less things being good in Italy for me, so that made the gap, it seems, though from the absolute point there is not better pick though economically and situationally it's not for me at this time, but the issue is if I am going somewhere then it will be Italy as it's my best pick even factually, that also has somewhat changed for now, but the gap is still there and I can see other livings (states of beings, 'situations', 'places') and I don't know anymore, while the facts, they are secondary to feelings and the states of beings, and what of those is my thing is not clear, like maybe I could pick some spot in Finland and just call it a life and then in the next life see what's fitting and move there. But I pick Italy and on the journey there see the alternatives if they will give me a better option and then I can easily change but taking something else now is not good for my state of being.

The practical meaning of life when all is seen clearly and understood better than ever and up to the first time. All one needs is to have silence in up to any pink area. A silent flat in a pink area. I had such one night for some hours, and it was great to have silence. I had silence, pink, daylight and the flat's aura having somewhat changed (I being more like me then) and I had somewhat x-unloaded during the night that I was unloading. I sort of had a base life for the first time since I was like 12 - in about Oulunkylä, 31-32 years ago (plus the years it will still take to get there full enough), as after / at that I was living in the city core and then in the white are plus one year more in the red core. But I am still an invalid, not having recovered but I saw the base life as it can be this day; silence and pink, that's all one needs (with the Brahma Awareness, though one can get somewhat closer with those alone) and it's good life; silence and pink. All the rest is darkness, dirt and noise stress, there not being relaxation, peace that are needed for the opening of life and are opening one's life as living, one's very own life and life as life, one having a base life. It needs to be silence, peace and pink. Those are the bases and then one will have a good base life, and one understands all being stress, work, less clarity, less understanding before that. The bases of (a) good life. Though not that people without the Brahma Awareness necessarily get all that much about it but they could aim to get great flat situations and have a good base life as so and maybe the pink will help them too somewhat (e.g. they might feel less lonely in the city core and so might feel more lonely in the white area and pick the pink or the red though not that it necessarily will feel lonely for them to pick the white and additionally they might not be lonely enough and generally shouldn't be also considering that they can act and go after dreams) though they more or less won't see the kind of purity that the one with the Brahma Awareness will see and feel and feel the comfort and delight of it. The comfort, that too is there, as purity (not even other people are covering it) and people (pink). Not a bad place for me to live as a whole this place if counting out the noise problems from other flats (I am using some small pieces in the ear at this time to make it a bit less though not sure yet of how much that will improve and how soon the ears will get pains but I don't need as much protection here and as this is pink, it's not an entirely bad situation and I enjoy whatever good it has, though I am still disoriented about the change as well as about my dreams being deeper in the whole as I haven't recovered enough and this is a bit isolated though reasonably near Leppävaara perhaps even during the winter half from some parts, and the city isn't that far during the summer half that one couldn't easily bike there, and so I am not so isolated here though this is an isolated kind of a place, though with it being pink I feel comfortable as so plus the comforts of no negative things about the red core, so the heart feels comfortable because of the pink and the mind from that point as this is not all that distant, and the body as there is a more clarity to it here and it has more comfort, so I am seeing the base life as so being good and that's the nice thing about being here and could be improved only with clear pink and action being closer and with a more silent flat, and getting more recovered as it's rather nirvanic to not have strong enough dreams and seeing the future here from that point as invalid) but that is taking one's own life away as it's there only when there is no stress, when there is peace and relaxation, like when one takes a time off and rests and will be with one's own thoughts, but in this case one will be with one's own life, from where one's own life starts, rather than just a struggle of survival, management, work. It being like being relaxed, in silence and feeling good and comfortable and as so being at the point where one can have one's own life, from where it can start and from where one can start to see it, like having got awakened and a new life starts, one's own life. So, bases can be good, and those are the bases. Some time in the future people will start their lives like that and live their lives more or less like that all (of) their life. Good bases. Most people do not live with any sort of good bases, especially not the trouble countries that have constant problems but the west too has done badly there for a variety of reasons, but still, many people there and elsewhere have reasonably good bases, plus they are okay, and so have a life. So, I just call these as good bases, having silence and pink, to put it shortly though that's so to me as a Flat, being all that one needs, as bases. It having been a huge miss having had red, white, struggle/no major silence, though it was nice to get the Enlightenments and enjoy them especially during the close years of getting them but without them all the way later too life would have been pain and darkness; like human and all they have is if they are okay, in case they can be or/and do, just that it could be better still and they have the whole world open as a possibility and to do the right things in their lives, but generally they don't and produce misery for themselves. But for me, it's now hunting these bases from the base points of silence and pink, and not even considering the details that can still make it better, like the windows and further improvements of the type of pink and the type of flat and the type of action and life around the flat. Then and along the way the recovery where I should drop more hot away, is to get better and better, and only after that there comes the factors of other countries, language studies, and time is getting short so in this life it will remain to be like holiday stuff when I get that far to take them too, though I can enjoy some of the my piked life along the way too but it's not yet my picked life (and doesn't necessarily fit to the whole pack I will or need to pick) but just bases of Flat and recovery, that's pretty much the issue of my remaining life, the rest being just a small possibility and a hobby, and so it's a new lose I will need to get used to, living more or less of the action/dream part of life as in nirvana, like a forest monk (looks uncomfortable and it's hot there, while some other monks do so much brain things and whatever that there might be up to no possibility of Enlightenment or deeper recovery) (that life I have never picked but have no choice it just being for recovery, though it more or less can be used for a variety of Enlightenments too, and for whatever it makes possible or even straight), though with better things around than they have in case I get silence. I would have hoped to have a life too of my own but all I am getting are just the bases of the Flat and somewhat recovery and an invalid life at least till the recovery possibly happens a bit more and I get to go for some more action. The Enlightenments and the Flats are just bases of life, the life starting after them, like being in a better place first as life in some place like in your world is not really like a life but more like a struggle. The bases basically are the meaning, after one can forget about the meaning (that's a base thing), Enlightenments, the Flats, the recoveries, and just live, like listen music, enjoy things and swim in sea, do things one likes to do; doing things in the world of blindness, uncomfort, struggle, stress, not being okay, is not like the thing even if one would be doing more or less one's things. And then there is the balance of doings, enough rest. So many thing to know and achieve to have good bases and continue having them. But basically it's just about silence and pink. Noisy, smoking people, even if the flat potentially could be good, there are always enough people that make sure it will not be good enough, and so I need to find a people proof enough flat, and then that is to combine more or less with the other good factors; so, it's going to take some time before I get there (and all those things are, are just bases), and then I might have a good enough place to move to the next problem in a major way of recovery (though I am always working for that too) and enjoy my life along the way, and that way then more or less figures to be my last journey as it will figure to take the rest of my life, so not all great to get like just the bases, but at least I get even the more or less bases then. But then, what's it really worth of getting just the bases, when the idea is to have a life, to build the house rather than just get a piece of land from some peaceful place; people seek such and then they build there and then they start a life there, while I just get the land and build the house the rest of my life and then die, though I will have the house then in my next life, just needing to find the place and start a life. At least there are pink areas; it could have been worse if there were only white/red areas, in case it would be harder for me, while the possibility of getting a silent flat is also there, though not that easy to get it combine with other goods and though later one can aim to such it's a risky thing to do as the new flats might not be silent - no matter what the one living there before one says or how new the flat is until one is the first one living in the just built house - that usually costs more or less more. It does matter on what planet one lives on/at; this one not being an easy one and even if one gets things as bases good enough, the life could be significantly better than it is, though one could try get in some place near the sea in Italy or so and work some base work not loading too much and just build and enjoy one's life, and there might not be too many problems, and one can collect good things in one's life, though such things are generally not ready given, one needing to know much to get good bases, a good house and a good life of one's own, rather than mediocre bases at best and mediocre house at best and a mediocre life of (one's own), plus the stress, non-relaxation, struggle. It's good I have the Kundalini awakening, it helping the most as the possibility of getting knowledge when one won't have up to any. Too bad it's basically impossible to get a flat that's not a problem flat, or at least in my situation in this country it seems to be next to impossible for me, though if I get a newer flat and a positive review from the one that lives there at that time, there is a reasonable possibility, and to get a few years of good silence and recovery before I am 50 (though I am already adjusting my mind to a more or less invalid and more or less nirvanic life in Finland as I had only two years from the beginning of 2010 to see significant recovery results, and I didn't get them), but still it's just a possibility and it's getting rather late then, though I might be in some shape still 30 years more, though it's more or less just about being old then, having put 50 year in and getting just some bases and still being an invalid, plus the next 30 years, that's an additional problem I am seeing.